Do you think fat girls are unattractive?

Question

I'm a fat girl, I'll just put it out there. I've been quite large my whole life, but I also have an amazing personality! I'm smart, funny, cute, silly, and I'm not high maintenance. I think I'm a great girl!But, even though I do have male prospects, they have never been of the quality that I want. More specifically, the guys that I am always attracted to are usually tall and very good looking, and they usually show a good degree of interest in me. However, it's like they like me, but the only thing wrong is that I'm overweight. Do guys really dislike fat girls that much?

fake_name · Accepted Answer

the first post is my experiences and thoughts and the 2nd post is my response to some of the things people posted.

well I have found that men being very visual tend to be superficial and less inclined to like overweight women. I am quite overweight but told I am pretty and look young for my age. Once long after my marriage and divorce I got addicted to chat lines and I found men were extremely drawn to me as I have a sensuous, flirtatious nature and a young pretty voice. I was often thought to be in my teens and 20s when I was actually in my mid to late 40s. I tend to have a young personality. I was often told I would be a good phone sex operator and though I was about 45 I was a few times kicked off by the chat lines worker as they thought I was a minor..even now in my 60s, people on the phone, call me sweetie and think I am in my 20s or 30s. when I student teaching, the classroom high school helper thought I was another high school student which shocked me as I was about age 40 then.

I was so badly addicted to these chat lines and so lonely to talk to people that I wound up having several ads and they were generally contained sexual innuendo, were highly creative and cutesy.Oh and I was told quite funny and amusing. I have alway been highly creative and used ti to get what I wanted then too. I literally was getting about a hundred messages or more a day, had 10 tablets of men with notes and their phone numbers over the years I was addicted and talked to directly for hours on my home phone at least a thousand men and met far less but still met about 150 of these men who I talked to on the phone at length. (that sounds like a lot but only a day and a half worth of men in 5 years of addiction to these lines so only met a couple pages in the 600 or so pages of numbers so actually not that many considering all the men who wanted me to call them.

I was often told (by men and some women in real life) that I was nice, funny, sensual, interesting, sweet. down to earth, genuine, creative, and intriguing and a host of other positive things that resonated with me as these were traits I felt I had and most men picked up on the same traits I felt I had and not just a few of the men did this but most of them. Even kids I taught said the same thing (except for sensual and intriguing but they added fun. So I think since so many told me this in life, l feel it was indeed who I was.

I tend to be thoughtful and men would tell me they never talked to anyone that long..one even talked for 23 hours straight. Most talked at least 6 hours straight the first time we talked and none seemed bored that I could tell. I was told by many this was the interesting conservation they ever had as I was very diverse and well read etc.

It was as if without my looks to be seen first and then never giving me a chance, they got to know me from the inside out first and most seemed to like me. I seemed to have the ability to get along with a wide diversity of personality

fake_name · Accepted Answer

@tony666 and OP continued

she said this with a sound/tone of incredulousness that they could actually be large AND good teachers. She later ordered me to lose weight, buy a "more professional wardrobe, cut my hair and other stuff. Torn between my grades and doing what she ordered and my rights and her overstepping her bounds,. I wrote her a letter thanking her help and saying I would definitely take all her advice into account when I was interviewing for a job but for now I like my hair long, I do not have a problem with what I weigh and I cannot afford new clothes at this time" She backed off.

Tests show that hirers hire pretty and thin women with few qualifications over highly educated and qualified obese women nearly every time the same way teachers shown pictures of kids they did not know said when asked to guess said the thin attractive kids were good kids and very smart while the overweight or ugly ones were troublemakers, lazy, not too bright etc.

Size prejudice is all around us. I suggest joining groups working to eliminate it and help gain more acceptance for people of size and understanding we have no right to force men to chose who they want which is generally gong to be average weight to thin women or women less than 25 pounds overweight. sad but true.

what really bohtewrs me are how obese women let the predujices, comments and hatred of the worlkd for them ruin their self worth and make them feel so miserable. They need to hold their heads high and be prtoud of their charactor and personality and who they are as people and if they are unaccepted oh well...it is what they think that counts and not having a man is not the worst thing in the world. The world is full of people in need..stasrt helping them and work with kids or old poeple who will love and appreciate you and the tinme you give them or a pet and maybe family, If one wants a child they may have to get pregnant and do it on their own or settle for less than they want. Having children lessons the need for having a man I feel. If that is how men and society is, then you can still survive it. I have survived years of lonliness and I rsally do love myself and appreciate my strenghts. I just feel lucky when I was thin I found someone and got my kids. Once I got so lonely I settled for a man I knew was less than I deserved and wound up with a crazy abuser..thank Go I got out in time and learned my lesson. I did find a great guy who did not care about my size and treated me well. Unfortunately I feel in love with the abuser and then still torn I rtealized my mistake but too late as the man died when he was quite young. I did though feel at least I made him very happy his last year or that is what he said and acted like but then he was a man who appreciated that I was intersting, funny, smart and sensual. I just was not that attracted to him and had a problem with something he did to his past wife even though he seemde to have learned his lesson and regretted his mistake.

fake_name · Accepted Answer

cont @quadapo

like that that I have achieved/accomplished than have ten people telling me I am pretty which most do nothing to earn. I would rather be one whose child's teacher all said they were the best kids they ever taught which I worked to bring about than have a hundred people tell me I have a flat stomach. I would rather have my 3.9 GPA that I worked for than have men say I have a sexy rear. Because to me they things--pretty, butt, flat stomach, thin are so superficial. But then I value a person';s achievements, strengths, personality and character..not their wealth or their looks (though we all have people who we are attracted to). I once discarded my natural feelings of a man being someone I would never kiss looks wise and did it and he turned out to be one of the best lovers I ever had...super giving and considerate. Had I rejected him like many, I would have never know that.

It is now believed that genetically modified foods that have been in the market heavily since 1996 are believed to be the cause of the obesity epidemic and the diabetes epidemic in kids and adults as well as the rising infertility rates, fibromyalgia & chronic fatigue syndrome and a host of other things. 70% of the foods in the supermarket are genetically modified, unless it is organic, most of the live stalk is fed GMOS and we also get them by eating the animals and their products. Most of the refined foods are genetically modified as 85% of corn and 95% of soy is gmo and they put high fructose corn syrup and various soy derivatives in nearly everything. Unless one have eaten nothing but clean wild fonds and safe organic foods for the last 15 years, they have ingested gmos and a lot of them. they are not labeled as most irradiated foods are

when people come to America and eat the same food they always do they gain weight; when Americans go there and eat the same foods they lose weight. Something in in our foods that is causing obesity on many many cases. It is thought gmos affect how we use glucose which in turn affect both weight and blood sugar levels. These young kids getting diabetes have never not eaten gmo foods. By putting obesity into nothing more than exercise and diet, you ignore things like set point theory, tests showing obese people eating less than 1000 calories and gaining weight on it and genetics which has a lot to do with it. This is why some people can eat anything and never gain weight and others balloon up on everything.

This leads to hatred for overweight people. Women are especially hated in this society. It seems that black men have less problem with obese women but this could be they are just using them too who knows and realize they are good lovers (and cooks and generous? I also noticed some of the men most prejudiced against obese women are men carrying an extra 75-200 pounds on them..they all seem to want very thin women...while many women ignore things like overweight and baldness in men men do not reciprocate in kind.

AFchick89 · Accepted Answer

ok I think honestly you like what you like. I don't think the guys that don't like fat girls should be called shallow because why can't they have a prefrence? ya know? you have a prefrence, obviously.  you said you like bigger more attractive guys. so are you being shallow? no. your not.  you just know what attracts u. what you like.  but the majority of guys I find are attracted to skinny girls. so what!  you just got to make a choice. either look for that type of guy you want as you described that doesn't mind your wieght. OR you do somehting baout it and start workin out and dieting. if you want somehting bad enough u'll do what you have to do. personlayy I say lose wieght  its a win win you get the guy and you get your health and longer life. good luck to you sweet heart!

tony777 · Accepted Answer

on first glance men are much more visual than women, and men will decide in the first minute of meeting whether or not he wants a woman. When we are seeking a mate we are looking at signs that you will be a good mother and campanion-even if we don't realize it. Visually we are looking for signs of health. In the past a woman with more weigt was associated with health because in times of famine she could still bear children with her fat reserves.

Nowadays, fat is associated with emotional baggage and one thing men want to avoid in a relationship is dealing with someone else's problems in addition to their own. Extra problems to deal with equals less hunting (making a living) efficiency. So rather than starting a relationship with someone who may (or may not) have emotional baggage, most men will tend to avoid overweight women as potential mates. If a man does have sex with a fat woman he may actually want a real relationship but mostly he will just never call back the next day or maybe date the woman for a week out of guilt before leaving the relationship.

So on a scientific level, due to modern associations of fat with emotional instability in Europe and North America, yes fat is unattractive to most males in these regions.

Now we can harp all we want about a woman's inner beauty, but if a woman wants to attract most men she has to win him visually in most cases first-that means finding a way to loose those extra pounds in a healthy way-before she can bring her great inner beauty to bear.

Speaking of inner beauty, I am still skeptical that a woman who claims to be beautiful within can be fat without. I have often found in my own experience that weight issues are due to emotional problems-both in myself and in others. When I was injured in Afghanistan I packed on the pounds because my mind was messed up. After a lot of support from friends and doctors and family, I returned to health as my mind healed. If you are struggling with loosing weight to be the person you want to be congradulations! You have taken the first step to improved self realization. Explore your mind and find out what is keeping you from your goals.

If you are truly happy with who you are now, however, the right man will see you for who you are and you will get the relationship you are looking for. Are you truly happy?

TheDigitalSaint · Accepted Answer

I don't dislike fat girls, I dislike their fat.

Read that twice.

Fat is unattractive to the vast majority of guys. Simply put, it makes it very hard for us to see your other great qualities when we have to look at something that reminds us constantly of your shortcoming in that area. When we look at you when you are talking, we have no choice but to see the fat. It literally is right there in front of us.

Another reason why it is hard for fat girls to attract quality men is because men instinctively know that the vast majority of overweight women have extremely strong insecurity issues as it relates to their body. Even girls who are the correct weight suffer all the time about this, but guys know that a fat girl will do so even more! If a guy tries to take advantage of this, it is because many heavy women will let them. If you get less attention, you'll take what you can get and this is not a good thing.

The good news is that if you have all those other great qualities you mentioned, all you need to do is lose the weight. I make it sound so easy right? Unless you have a glandular problem, losing weight is within the reach of the vast majority of overweight people, men and women included. The question remains, why are you fat? What can I do to help you lose weight?

Is your diet in need of being examed? Do you exercise? What other factors should I know about? I've worked at a health club before and have helped countless women lose weight. Trust me when I say that many of them have come back to me later and thanked me for helping them with their confidence, mood issues and I kid you not, dating life.

Yes, it matters. However, you are not alone. Find the people and resources to lose the weight and you should have no problem finding a high-quality man. You deserve nothing less.

fake_name · Answer

@ tony777 and OP continued

like taking away their children if they are fat..It is like which came first.

It is sad that a women like myself and the asker with so many good traits are ignored and passed by plus badmouthed behind our backs and often to our faces even by total strangers. Maybe that is playing on some of our minds.My advise to the asker if decide if you are happy with who you are and forget men or wait a long long time and pray you find that rare exceptions who looks more at the book's contents and take st he time to get to know you or decide if family and spouse and kids are important to you and you do not care if a man would marry you when thin but not give you the time of day if you gain weight and if you can live with such a guy then lose weight to snag him and keep it off.

To do so I would suggest becoming a vegan, only eating organic foods or at least nothing processed in any way but as it is found in nature such as fruits, veggies, whole legumes, whole grains in their off the field state that are unground (millet, whole wheat kernels, spelt, oat goats etc) and if you want bread or pasta grind it yourself in moderation as these finely ground grains cause blood sugar spikes and are best avoided, seaweeds, fermented foods, homemade yogurt if not a vegan from grass fed organic cow milk, raw milk if ot a vegan. Avoid fast food and bring food with you. Eat no refined foods except that bought at health food stores with a label that says non gmo. Eat at least 85-100% raw and take in at least a quart of green smoothies and juices a day and other fresh juiced produce. Many have successfully lost weight with this and also attained superior health.

I reiterate yes most men do not want obese and overweight girls for much beyond sex and only a few are attracted to them despite personality..one must apparently find these men from going to sits where men look for BBW but beware if you do lose weight, these men will no longer be attracted to you. Finding a man who will love you fat or thin is very hard but some will love you when thin, marry you and still love you even if you get fat but even those are pretty rare. Face it, men are not like women who are more accepting of a man's flaws and look more to the whole package than men. Men will often stay with women who treat them badly if the woman has super beauty and turns the heads of other men as this makes the men feel more worthy.

You might consider losing weight to a certain "acceptable amount" of overweight but not too much to snag the kind of guy you are hoping to find.

Also be aware fat hatred is so pervasive there is a lot of job discrimination. When I was student teaching despite getting straight As, have kids and parents love me and being fun and creative etc, one of my teachers who disliked overweight people apparently tactually said this to me "I am not prejudiced against people who are overweight, I had two bigger women before and they were actually good teachers

fake_name · Answer

@ quadapo,

this is stereotyping to say fat people make bad decisions every day, have a discipline problem or no desire to take responsibility for their health.

Many obese people never eat junk food, many eat less calories than their thin counterparts, many do exercise, many have a huge amount of discipline and will power (for other things like quitting smoking, changing their lives etc that is but just not so much with food), many have very healthy lifestyles and many shockingly are in as good health as their thin counterparts in some cases better and some even outlive thin people with the same disease better. People just generalize left and right about obesity and make blanket statements.

Though I am quite overweight, I am not sitting around eating bonbons and fast and junk food all day. In fact, I have an excellant diet. I eat 80-90% fresh produce more veggie than fruits with a lot of diversity and greens, raw nuts and seeds, whole grains (in moderation), legumes, seaweeds, sprouts, plant proteins, etc. I eat 50 to 60% raw, whole foods and have been a vegan over 2 years. I rarely eat fast food and when I do only beans, all veggie salads or baked potatoes, I never buy things like bread or pop etc. I was exercising 5-7 days a week till I had a serious injury a year ago and could not walk due to 4 herniated disks, gout, arthritis and parasthesia.

I would stack my diet up against 98% of the population and win as far as the kinds of foods I eat, so quit stereotyping. I am guessed to be 10-20 years under my age also just like you. It is pretty crappy of you to hate people who do what you used to do for years. Who would want a guy like that...hypocritical and un-compassionate. You say we will not feel attractive and good about ourselves till we lose 100 pounds but like the author of this originally post, I really like who I am. It is society that has a problem not me.

I have often been told I have a heart of gold and if more people were like me the world would be a better place, I would rather hear things

fake_name · Answer

My long answer has posted in the worng order..to read it start at the bottom of my 4 posts and read up when finished or bottom to top.

Also this is answer of my opinion on the question and above this is what I am saying to specific people hwo answered this question

and it was pretty fun. I had a lot of fun. I was always so straight laced before..I got kind of wild. I learned a lot about men I never knew. In some ways, it was good as it helped cured me of looking for that prince charming thing.

I personally think men far more than women do not want fat mates..will not even give them a chance unless maybe they get to know who you are without a picture first as I did...Even though I have everything men say they want--sweet personality, huge sense of humor, thoughtful and kind, very sensual, sexual, vocal and expressive that they often told me they never were with anyone so passionate and responsive and that I put younger women to shame.etc, I am highly intelligent, good insight, and have many other gifts, yet no one would give me the time of day when I was overweight till I had this way of them getting to know me without sight first...then they flocked to me but few stayed but I also heard they did this to thin girls on the chat lines so it was not just me,

Only a certain kind of man is somone who overlooks one's weight no matter how wonderful you are even when they admit to bad experiences with thinner women and great ones--both poersonally and sexually-- with heavy ones. few men ill give you more than sex and sometimes not even that no matter if you had everything going for you as weight is the first thing they notice and are looking at. They are some men who are attracted to plus sized women..usually they like to be submissive but if you lose the weight, you lose them too...few are like women who look for the good insides and if they find it can overlook some weight or unattractiveness.

Many men told me most women though are looking for rich men. few are like m who keys in on what really counts --who you are on the inside and how they treat you and if that is there will give you a chance despite your age and looks and money and status and education. I think I am like that so I know there must be a few men like that but far far less of them..if you have the time to looks and go through thousands of men to fin them I wish you luck with that.

If you are looking for a spouse and children with him, I feel you're odds would be better if you lost weight and became near normal weight, but if you want to be who you are and look for someone who loves the inner you and does not judge a book by its cover, they are rare and one will need to wait a long time to find that For some that is worth it even if they never find him..most will lower their standards out of loneliness and necessity. . If it is children you want, well nowadays single women can have them. if it is companionship well maybe a pet. Most of the good men are already taken.

fake_name · Answer

very creative and cutesy) so I guess they did stand out.

I was surprised being called bubbly and sparkly and such by a lot of them despite the fact I was clinically depressed (though I did used to be described that way before my depression) and they told I had an off the wall sense of humor, was very funny and was very smart. The word intrigued with me came up a lot lol. Most of them pegged me accurately when they told me who they thought I was. However, I was not good at it I guess as so many of the men who I thought were the best of the best when I screened out all the jerks turned out to be jerks themselves and good liars but maybe that is the nature of chat lines.

Only after talking to them for many hours did I met any particular guy..there were a few stands outs I met who were wonderful, some very nice guys, some who were much older than they said or looked different than described themselves. One lied about his race. I suspect now some of them lied about being single. I only hope I do not do anything with them. Most of them turned out to not be who they had claimed to be.

My feeling is rarely does a women find happily ever after and great guy that stick around and do not change from who you thought they were.This is true both of attractive and unattractive, thin and fat women...there are not a lot of great men out there... I feel since it is unlikely one will find a lifetime partner nowadays like people did in my mother's generation, the one thing men can give me that I can't get myself and wanted (when I was younger) was children, Now that I have some, I do not really feel the need for men in my life anymore. My brother can hang the curtains and shelves for me.

Since we hope for that soul mate who will or would have been everything or 80% of it that we wanted, somethings we look to hard or get obsessed with not having it but most women do not have it forever anymore. I am almost glad to be overweight as it keep men and the trouble and heartache they bring away. But I am ore wanting to lose weight for my health nowadays but not to find a man. I don't think it is worth it for that reason. It never bothered me before and I was lucky I was not much told stuff to my face at least, I could care less what people think but now that I am getting older, I want to keep my good health when ills start showing up.

I have found that men will have sex or give oral to nearly anyone. It is sticking around that seems to be harder to find. I did not do anything I did not want to sexually when making out with them as I had so many men dying to meet me, why put myself at risk by doing somethign they wanted sexually if I did not want it. I was upfront all along...some thought maybe I would change my mind and if I didn't they got mad and did not come back. Oh well I have ten 60 page tablets to get another from..isn't that what they do? Since I was dating and doing things with many of them, I had to be cautious. I never did anything like this and

fake_name · Answer

My opinion now that I am 60 is that most men are not looking for plus size women for anything real although I meet a couple who had fetishes for the large women and only dated plus size women but they were not the kind of men I sought...the men I met were the ones I thought were the cream of the crop. It did not matter to me if they were poor or rich, I met doctors and lawyers and laborers and unemployed. Fat thin or in between, good looking or not good looking, disabled or not disabled ,educated smart or not smart, young (at least 18) or old (I think 58 was the oldest), I did not judge people in these things that were more superficial. I looked to personality and character as these are the things I think are important. If they had that, the other things did not matter to me.Contrary to how this may sound, I actually had very high standards and rejected tons and tons of people..as I said these I met seemed like the cream of the crop character and personality wise but they did not always turn out to be who they said they were though some did. I was looking for a certain personality type though I never told them what I was looking for. I tend to not judge I had talked to many thousands of them which was far far less than 1% of all the men who boxed me on the chat line and responded to a list of questions I asked that I used to screen men to see which were worth talking to.

They often said they were trying to figure out what I was looking for (apparently to lie and pretend to be that)..only a few said the magic words I was looking for which was mainly when they described themselves as being told they were nice guys. 98% of the men when asked what personality traits they had said the same thing..laid back and easy going was in most answers. I was shocked at how man sex partners men as I had had only a couple by my own choice in very long term relationships before and the answers they all gave me (many thousands of them) tended to be the same two answer..

What did they say when asked how many women had they slept with? Over 90-% of them said either 10-12 or 25-35 but I also ran into 3 virgins in their 40s and some who had over a 1000 women (one was in a band). I was also shocked when they answered what the worst things they ever did was and what is the worst things they ever did sexually. I was literally shocked. Certainly I did not want to meet some of these men after they confided to me their sins.

Some of the men paid and sent me hundreds of messages trying to get my attention or found all the mailboxes I had on various chat lines and left several messages on them or said somethign to make them stand out and be memorable as with that many messages a day (not counting live chat) who could keep them all straight.. I sure made money for the chat lines as some men stayed on there for hours trying to talk to me or told me they were on a few years ago and did not remember anyone's ads but all of mine (they tended to be sexual, funny,

fake_name · Answer

Some of the men I met were great and giving and generous and nice, others were horrible, most were liars, and once I got raped and a few times had bad things like this happen. One of the men I started dating was an abusive liar I later found out and he turned out to be a sex offender and very crazy. Overall, I regret my time being addicted to these lines but I also learned a lot and now am not so naive and trusting as I was. I also had only been in long time relationships and this gave me more experiences to determined what I liked and didn't sexually. In fact, I also got addicted to what I liked (that thing all women like). And got to hear what men liked about me sexually which was kind of flattering as again they often keyed in on the same things which made me feel they were not all lying.

Some of the experiences I had or things men confided to me that they had done were bad and shocking, and changed my desire to ever remarry so in the long run it was a good thing as I learned more about how men were and also how much they think about sex which also shocked me...I only understood that during peri-menopause when my desires were kind of like men in intensity so I guess in that sense the chat lines arrived just in time to give me the chance to have my fill. I could have easily have found as many men as I wanted day if I was only looking for sex, oral sex or whatever. I could have found men willing to father a child and then move on if I would have wanted that.

Looking back, I regret that I ever called those lines as men id hurt me a lot and I picked up a stalker who I pray never finds me. At the time, my loneliness lead me to them..just to talk to someone and later I decide to meet as I had so many men wanting to meet me after they talked to me, but the first man I meet I met him cause she was suicidal to try to prevent him from doing this. Once I met someone, it got easier. I do not have an idea how many I met but it was at least 150 men who took me out to dinner or picnic or somewhere.

I polled men on the phone of their experiences sexually with plus size women and all but one claimed excellent experiences making comments like they are not as bitchy, stuck up or mean as thin women they dated, that the plus size women love pleasure, are often extremely nice and laid back, very giving and good at it, give great o__l, very sensual and have a wonderful touch, are multi orgasmic, very vocal and responsive, taste really good and are good kissers etc these are the things men said they liked sexually about the plus sized women they had been with. Studies on this do say plus size women are better lovers. some had ads showing they preyed on plus size women as they felt they would be more likely to do things as they had less opportunity with men and thus might be more promiscuous.

fake_name · Answer

parts as I was so diverse and multifaceted that something in me seemed to connect with most of them. I always told them what I weighed honestly before I met them but not at first but I would always say I was quite plus sized right from the start and most of them came to take me out. I rarely got stood up.

Some told me they would never have went out with someone of my weight if they hadn't spoke to me first but now they had they were driven to met me as they found me fascinating or something to that effect.to They tended to not act repulsed when they saw me and I did get some compliments on my appearance...those I wanted to I did things with them as long as it was what I wanted whether that be kissing or more or fulfilling my particular fetish. I was often told I was very pretty and complimented and told I had downplayed myself and they were expecting less physically from me. None ran away screaming.

The gist of what I got from my tine on the voice chat lines was that most of these men were just looking for sex although a few I dated for a few years and some I went out with several times. Others were just once both from my or their decisions. One man I spoke with told me could we go not near his house as he did not want to run into his friends due to my weight but was more than willing to pleasure me. In fact, loved to do that. Obviously, I did not go out with him. I think he was also overweight on top of it. He almost begged me to meet him after I refused when he said that.

Some did not want to do things with me but later kept trying to call me and telling me they were wrong and begging me to meet them again and give them another chance. I rarely did. Some got very obsessed with me (usually people who did not met my criteria of what I was looking for-- say they were married and I was only willing to meet single men--- and they kept boxing me and begging me to meet them saying they had to meet me and they offered me huge amounts of money to meet them (2 over $1000).

Naturally I refused as I am not like that. I refused to meet anyone I knew was attached as I would never hurt another woman although a few lied to me and I got angry calls from their wives and fiancées who found my number in the man's pocket and I told some of these women I found out about that their men were on these chat lines looking to cheat and played them recordings (if they wanted to hear them) of the lies he said to me about say never being married or having kids etc In other words, these guys got caught and paid for their crimes against their women. I was careful to discern when it would be wrong to tell the wife as I did not want to hurt anyone, I was very gentle and played it by ears as I reasoned I would want to know, but if I man was looking for sex that put their wives at great risk of getting stds etc, I gave the ladies the man's mail numbers. some men threatened to harm me for blowing their cover but none did.

chica1 · Answer

I agree with melislooney.  I've been a chubby girl my whole life and always thought, why would that cutie like me but when I'm happy and active and flirty there has been no stopping me.  In high school I dated a wrestling champ and the captain of our basketball team.  In college I dated...and then married a former wrestling champ who had some of the tightest abs I'd ever seen and who is almost done with an Md/PHd.  So gorgeous and smart.  I remember the first time he ever took me home and his mom said, "Wow you aren't like the other girls my son has dated."  I think she meant it as a cut but seven years later she loves me!  The funny thing is even though I wasn't thin like all the other girls he brought home, he had sought me out.  I sat a couple seats in front of him in a 100 person chem lecture.  One day on campus he saw me walking by and stopped me.  I asked him what it was that made him do that.  He said he was attracted to my confidence.  He just figured a girl that smiled and laughed like that he wanted to meet.

anonymous2501 · Answer

Before I give you an honest answer, first off I want to apologize for all the tactless responses you are probably going to run into on this website or anywhere when you ask guys this question. Also I want to say that I once weighed 280 lbs about 5 years ago.

Attraction is not a choice. For this reason I really try to remember not to take it personally when a women is not attracted to me even though I am attracted to her. I also remember no good can come of someone trying to force themselves to be attracted to someone they are not attracted to: it avoids turning someone down but leads to a much, much bigger, messier and more painful situation for all involved.

To answer your question directly I know I personally have a very difficult time ignoring the fact that a girl is overweight. I can rationalize to myself all day long about how my preference is encouraging eating disorders, how no one should be judged by appearances, how I remember what it was like to be overweight (for me it was a direct result of medication I had to take). All of these things are true, but in the end attraction is not a value judgement, it simply is there or it is not.

I do not 'dislike' overweight women. Whether I like someone as a person is a separate question that has a lot more conscious thought that goes into it. In looking for a relationship I am trying to find someone I am both attracted and that I like as a person. It is worth mentioning that there are plenty of chubby women who carry themselves with such a genuine confidence that it just cuts through that that aspect of their appearance.

Anyways I am not saying it is easy but at the very least understand that it is not personal or malicious.

fake_name · Answer

@tony777 and the original poster (OP) (in three parts)

most obese women are great mothers so that is crap what you said..also they have "childbearing hips" certainly..they can be wonderful companions too. If a man is so superficial he judges a womens companionship and mothering capabilities on her weight then he is of low IQ.

I think with the number of men I heard complaining how selfish and snotty and mean thin women are they have known, that you cannot in fairness single out the overweight for more emotional baggage. If anything they are more laid back as they are not obsessed with looks and have as far as sex shown they love pleasure. I feel that is strange that you equate your experience in the war with ours making the leap that because you gained weight from being messed up that is why she do..

Again genetics and the poor quality of food in America are huge factors as is our stress ridden, no time for anything lives. it is not accident that we have far far more gmo foods in this country which have been proven to be linked with weight gain and how glucose responds which affects weight and the highest rates of obesity in the world, Not to mention our schizophrenic mixed messages..be thin at all costs and yet fast food on every corner, no one eating at home and full color ads of food day and night. the food makers want their customers loving the food and buying a lot of it and use food flavors, chemicals and enhancers to be sure people buy their foods. Some of these chemicals etc are unlabeled and make you fatter on purpose so you biuy more food or have addictive properties.

How dare you blame it on these women having emotional problems. Did you ever think maybe some emotional problems come from fat people especially fat women being social lepers in this country and hearing the mean and cruel comments people say on line and doing things like

AlekNovy · Answer

Well, its societial... Not that this will help you that much, but if you want to know the truth.

There is no biological reason for guys to like skinny girls and dislike fat girls. We have a boot-load of scientific evidence on this. Its completely learned. Society teaches us to chase after certain types of girls. It actually goes so far that a "physical urge" can be learned. We actually learn to get a physical urge for certain things.

If you grew up in some parts china, you'd physically crave worms, beetles and snakes for breakfast. Men in most parts of africa get physically turned on by obese women, and they literally can't even imagine being with a skinny girl (skinny girls repulse them physically).

NOW... In practice, in the real world, this is way too ingrained, so it might as well be biological... I'm sorry. The good news is that being fit has plenty of advantages. I'm a formerly obese guy, now very fit. And I personally dislike fat girls more than an average guy, because they remind me of my former fat-self.

It took me 10 years to go from fat to fit, and tried everything (99.99% of the info on weightloss is a pure and utter scam btw)... If you're interested (not trying to prod you, just sharing my experience). I finally learned the truth about getting thin from an author called "Paul McKenna" and his book "I can make you thin"... Again, about 99.9999% of everything we're told about being overweight and losing weight is a complete lie.

adrianereeder · Answer

Some do, but I dont. If you have a great personality, and your fun I'm cool. I don't see fat. I see a beautiful girl that I'm having fun with. If I like you I like you no matter what. Some guys are very shallow, they just don't have a clue. Pretty girls are the girls that are usually bitches. I would rather have a big girl over a bitch anytime. Sweetheart there is nothing wrong with you. If you feel your weight is a problem ,you do something about it. Don't let people make decisions for you. If you feel uncomfortable about you change it because you want to. Keep being that loving, smart funny, silly woman you are. Someday some guy will love you for you. Trust me. Have a great day

guapo · Answer

What I find funny, is when the fat celebrity, who loudly proclaims on tv and in print that "she loves her curves", and "this is what real women look like" , and then suddenly for whatever reason she decides to lose 50 to 100 lbs. and then she hits the airways and print with stories of how depressed and miserable she was all her life at her previous weight. I have worked  in the medical field for over 18 years, and I will tell you, stubornly hanging on to an extra 100 or more lbs. because your family or peer group are all fat and supportive, will only cause you health problems as you age. In all but about 5% of the obese patients , obeseity is a discipline problem.The pudgy and the obese daily make many conscious descisions to eat poorly and not exercise ,and in general have no desire to take responsibility for their health. Healthy eating and exercise are easy and not complicated or grueling. I have done it all my life and at 51 years old have no health problems, have tons of energy and shock people all the time when I tell them how old I am, as they usually guess me to be in my late 30's to early 40's.          A lot of fat girls are very kind, funny, warm hearted, smart and generous, but all the hair dye, tanning, makeup ,tatoos and cleavage showing won't make you look or feel as attractive as losing that extra 100lbs. your lugging around will.

frankthetank · Answer

If a guy really liked you and had a deep connection with you he would stay with you even if your fat. So don't fool yourself into think your weight is the problem or even trying to blame yourself or the guy, If the connection isn't strong enough then it sucks but you gotta move on, life is short. Imagine you were skinny enough to keep one of those guys, he would only end up wasting your time until he had another reason to leave. I have dated a lot of fat girls and only a few skinny ones. I honestly would stay with a skinny girl longer because of the physical attraction,but if there is no solid connection in the other areas I would end up leaving as time went on. With the girl I am with now, our bellies touch before our lips do when we kiss. Yes I wish she was skinnier, but we have so much fun together, we like the same things, have the same sense of humor, when shopping you know the things they would like and when you see something funny the first thing you think of is texting them to share it. So if you think someone really "gets you" and is always doing thoutful things to take care of you or make you happy, and theen you feel the same way about them, your not going to want to trade that for someone skinnier taller shorter or whatever thing your worried about.

To sum it up quickly, it doesn't matter what problem you think you have on the outside, its likely you have to go through a lot of frogs before you find that prince that loves the truly important things about you. That goes for all girls.

melislooney · Answer

oh do I understand you. I'm very similar to you actually. I've been chubby my entire life, and thankfully I have a decent face. but its my personality that shines through. I too typically like the tall and attractive men, that probably shouldnt like me, but usually do.

ive found that guys, even the attractive ones, like confidence. Acting like you deserve the best, makes them think that you do. I mean guys typically won't seek out overweight woman, but I've found that if its not painful to look at you, you have a cute personality, and you know you deserve the best. men won't turn you down.

RhinoBob · Answer

I don't think fat girls are *automatically* unattractive, any more than I think tanned blonds are *automatically* attractive.

2 of the sexiest women I've known were bigger girls -- but they were healthy, too. Some people simply carry more weight than others. It's *how* you carry yourself that really matters.

saulito · Answer

if you are fat but have a sexy face and personality...the thing is that your butt and thighs have to be bigger than your stomach...if you're thick on the buttcheeks and thick legs and thighs and wide hips...oh yeah...i love it...cant have enough of it...

brunohusker · Answer

I'm gonna say what girls have told me about being a fat guy. They say I should stick to dating overweight girls who may not have the best self esteem and such. So basically they'd tell you the same. Although I think you should try and date who you want.

bigsexy6969 · Answer

Rarely guys will like fat girls but they also don't like twigs either, I would never date a fat girl, but you can loose weight so if you don't have an ugly face so be thankful that you don't have an ugly face another thing is, you shouldn't be going for the hottest possible guy if you're a 4/10 you shouldn't be going for 9/10s and 10/10s that's just unrealistic maybe go for other fat guys however if you can loose weight that would probably bring you up to a 7 or an 8 and don't listen to all this "you're beautiful no matter what size you are" bullsh*t that's just an excuse to be obese so if you do decide to loose weight good luck and I hope this helped :)

Anonymous · Answer

You attract what you are. Like attracts like.  Men are visual so if you like very good looking hot guys, you would have a better chance with them if you were a good looking girl. I'm not saying fat = ugly don't take it that way, but obviously the weight thing.  You say that you do have male prospects but they are not the quality that you want...well no offense but the really good looking guys may think that way about you.  If you just lose the weight you will attract better quality of guys.

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