my face does not have acne (well it used to )
please do not say go to the gym(I already do)
please do not say make friends with girls (girls aren't letting me talk to them in the first place )
please do not say shower and dress well ( I already do )
It seems like you're setting yourself up for failure. People here are giving you their honest opinion and advice, and what do you do? You deny all of it. Why did you even ask this question if all you're gonna do is sit there and tell people what NOT to answer? You've basically listed all the things that people WANT to answer! And why do they want to write answers with those things? Because they're TRUE. They WORK. But they won't work if you don't let them!
"Please no "believe in yourself" answers and " think positively " ( I've seen good looking depressed guys get girls )" Obviously. They have the advantage of being handsome. According to you, you don't have that advantage. So, what do you have to do? Act as confident and positive as you can. That's the only thing you can work with. I'm sorry, but it's true. There's no point in trying to deny that. If all you do is act pitiful, sad and negative, then no wonder girls don't like you.
Also, I'm finding it VERY hard to believe that absolutely no girl even lets you talk to them. If literally nobody has wanted to talk to you so far, I think you're trying to pursue the wrong girls. These girls obviously have a sh*tty personality if they just flat out ignore you like that. Go for the girls who actually have a heart.
Also, having girlfriends and friends who are girls is not everything in life. Not even close. Why would you let some girl's opinion of you decide who you are or who you should be? I'm sorry, but that's pathetic. There's so much more to life than hitting on girls and going on dates. Loving yourself is much more important than having someone else love you. You're going to live with yourself for the rest of your life, so you better get comfortable in your own skin. And really, girls DO appreciate that. Try to wrap your mind around it.
You can't do anything now but get up and try again. Everybody gets rejected in life somehow, whether it's by a crush, by a company you wrote a job application to, by people you want to be friends with and so on. It's a part of life. If you can't handle it, then maybe you should just give up on it and try something else.
ive been trying for years now , and everyone assumes that I hate myself since I was a kid . I used to think I was worth something but constant rejection showed me I'm trash
I want a girl to date me and if all girls call or think I'm ugly , I should care
Have you met every single girl on the planet? No. Then you can't say that all girls call you or think you're ugly. Have you ever thought about dating a blind girl? She wouldn't give a f*** about what you look like, she'd only care about your personality. There ARE girls in this world who would want to be with you. And not all of them are blind, either.
try being ugly then you can relate
Oppaoppa, whereas you do make some very good points, you're kind of underestimating how hard wired humans are for sex and physical contact. If loving yourself is more important than others loving you, we could all be content to live in solitary confinement. I would say loving yourself makes it easier for others to love you, but romantic contact with humans is in fact extremely important, and there is a host of studies demonstrating this. If anything, people who have more sex tend to live longer.
K... First no1 is UGLY there are more and less attractive people. I know that sounds like a bunch of crap but, its the truth. The only time when ugly does exist are the people who are csusing you to feel this way. I had a hard time & thought I was hidious and I was a model.
Don't be discouraged you can get a girl trust me, I've seen really "ugly" guys get "ugly" decent, pretty, and fine girls. Just the same way I've seen "ugly" girls get the finest boys strange enough. (my bad I'm being a hater)
Ugly is a state of mind... If your not happy with your appearance change it there's small ways to improve yourself and then there's dramatic changes. Like you said you work out, well I for one and other girls think guys with a pack and muscles are sexy. K so you might not have the cutest face but that doesn't make you ugly. Unless your thinking about going under the knife to fix your problem I say adjust to it... YOUR THE ONLY You U HAVE! Trust there are a million things that I don't like about myself, but I just got over it. That's how you & I are made to look. So accept & embrace it.
I truley don't know why girls won't give you their time, you may not be the hotest but you may be the sweetest but who knows... Its like the saying Don't Judge a Book By its Cover. Has anyone ever noticed pretty people are usually jerks.
If your still frustrated at yourself you could try chasing the girls like that woman does the guy (jk) but girls do and will want you if not there's always strippers and prostitutes to keep you happ. But if love is what you want don't expect live from someone else if you don't even love yourself.
P.S. Confidence is a bunch of crap it is just a better word for cocky. You don't seem very confident the way you keep downing yourself so you have nothing to worry about. & I'm glad your face doesn't atrract girls because its not supppse to if you attract a lot of girls purely off of looks then all you will get is sex not love and you can simply pay for sex.
(I hope this helps)
xoxo Monae
you truly confused me there , if I accept that I am ugly and embrace it . Girls will still find me ugly
Hell to the NO you should not. Honestly, yes, looks do matter a little bit. Looks are the first thing that attract you to a person. But for me, I would take a smart, funny, nerdy, average looking guy over a gorgeous guy with a tan and muscles, but no personality. Have you ever been on YouTube? hahah, that was a stupid question to ask. I mean, who hasn't. BUT, there's a YouTube channel called simplepickuplines and it's basically a group of nerdy guys who use pick up lines to pick up women, and they are not the best looking guys, but BOY CAN THEY PICK UP WOMAN lol. They're so confident and hilarious that their personality overpowers their looks. And to be honest if I was being hit on by them . . I would give them my number because they seem so fun and interesting to be around. I love that in people. So, no you should not give up. Just talk to a girl as if you were her friend, and don't make it seem like you're trying to pick her up. & then who knows, maybe your friendship will turn into something more. & confidence is never a bad thing, it just means you're comfortable with who you are and you're not afraid to show it to other people. But I mean just because you're not this overly-confident guy doesn't mean you will never get a girl. I think some shy guys are adorable, so it's okay to be a little shy at first. But honestly, you don't have to be the most beautiful man on this planet for a girl to like you. Take that from me, I am a female. I've also known guys in the past who I wasn't initially attracted to in the beginning, but their personality made them appear more attractive. For me, an ugly personality destroys a pretty face. Soooooo, just be yourself, as cliche as that sounds. Eventually, someone is going to like you and think you're a hunk ;) hahah.
they are not ugly + they live in CA , which is very different +girls don't let me talk to them , howcan I be theyre friend ? its been 19 years and still no girl found me attractive
Do you work anywhere? & honestly it doesn't take a lot to please a girl. Just be charming, and funny. For me, having a sense of humor is number one lol. Give a random knock knock joke lol. Say hi. Anything. I refuse to believe you're this disgusting creature that no one wants to talk to -__- about Simplepickup . . they're not extremely attractive either lol. But yet, they find ways to talk to girls. Or you can always try christian mingle, lol . . Less talking . . alotttttaaaaa more mingling (;
im not funny with women , because I never get the chance to be .I don't know what charming means .
Confident people don't care if there rejected, they see it as the other persons loss not there's because they know who they are and are sure of themselves, if you walk up to a girl and she ignores you the whole time that is a terrible person and you shouldn't give your time to such a nasty person, if you see something like that make sure to let them know there being rude or be gentleman and walk away, lol but I rather be rude cause I can't stand rude or ignorant behavior, on top of that going to bar/club to meet women is not the ideal choice because most shallow women end up there and there dressed to perfection and trying to get a guy who isn't in there league with all there camoflage on so it isn't the best choice, you also need goals you want to accomplish that will distract you from the pursuit of women like writing a book, making a cartoon, curing cancer, inventing something, training for the x games etc. etc... Going to the gym and dressing well only works when your overweight and you fallen into the bad habits of wearing sweats lol... Girls want you to be in shape not overly in shape just no gut, the whole dress well thing is misunderstood by many... There's a time and a place for dressing well don't wear button up shirts or collar'd shirts if you don't need to, dress comfortable and make sure your presentable that's all. Here's some old dating philosophy if you can't be happy alone you can't be happy with anyone else. Suicide is never the option would you really take your life because some nasty chick didn't give you the time of day? I rather die accomplishing a great feet or creating something used by many versus killing myself because some shallow chick at the bar ignored me, asking women out is a percentage game and the percentage is always low so if you ask 20 girls out chances are one out of 20 may say yes and that ratio gets worse lol could be one out 50 girls say yes... if she's not interested even if you have the convo it's not like what you say or do will change her mind anyway so just move on
I was in the same boat 3 years ago hope that helpd
it wasn't one girl . It was many . I can't go into bars yet . I'm not 21 . I've been rejected/ignored by over a 100 now . None said yes
Your not 21 yet lol then why are you taking things so seriously? I'm 25 years old, a virgin, and I've never had a girl friend and I've been rejected a lot of times but I'm not gonna commit suicide because girls won't give me the time of day... You age bracket sucks for women because all the girls your age want older dudes who are more established, do you know how many older guys have taken women from me because they have a car and a apartment? Countless times >.<
Confidence for an ugly man is about as helpful and useful as a lighter underwater is.
HAHAHA
I should mention too, people on here say try to have an attractive personality. I tell you instead, it doesn't matter if you are physically ugly - they don't care what your personality is like, you're ugly, they won't even bother to know you. Anyone on here disagreeing simply never has been ugly, period.
I have to admit, although I've always believed personality was important, I didn't realize how important until I met this guy. Basically, a bunch of girls were going on and on about this "Philip" bloke who was so handsome and was so this and that, so obviously my friends and I were intrigued. When we finally met this guy, we were a little disappointed to find that he really wasn't that attractive - he had a pretty odd, round face and thinning hair. But after spending a little time with this guy,
well, that you personally didn't find him attractive does not preclude that those girls did not.
WTF LOOL
I can't even get a male friend to
Thats not true! well at least not completely... I would say for most girls that is true... but I find a guy who is pretty comfortble in his own skin and confident attractive... If he is physically not attractive, then a tiny bit of awkwardness makes him charming and showing off what he does have sexy... so if your smart show it off in small doses, make her laugh, be smooth... girls like me (outgoing and runs half in the popular crowd half in the deep secluded art kid side) will fall for you :)
so not true
Opinion
33Opinion
"Please no "believe in yourself" answers and " think positively " ( I've seen good looking depressed guys get girls)" ...of course they do, because they are outwardly attractive, they can pout at the bar and people will overlook it because they're cute...no one ever said that pretty people don't have a natural advantage, they do, life's unfair suck it up and deal with it.
You just have to work harder like all of us normal, average looking people do., people can't see your attractive qualities, you have to show it to them, give them a reason to like you, remember "hot" and "attractive" are two different things, being hot is an attractive quality, but so is confidence, leadership, humour... no you're not going to win over every single girl just by being happy and bubbly and confident, you are still going to get rejected some, but you'll definitely be in a much stronger position,
You imply girls literally won't let you talk to them in any social setting?...i highly doubt that.
you say you work out and are well groomed and hygienic, add to this confidence, a sense of humour and an open, friendly demeanor and there is no way you would universally shunned by every female on the planet just you just because you are ugly. It doesn't happen.
If chicks refuse to even be your friend you there is obviously a bigger problem going on than looks that you are not facing.
it could be that you're projecting awkward/ negative image unbeknownst to you or that you unintentionally give the impression that you are in fact trying to hit on girls when you're not ( if you are approaching girls in places like bars for example they are always going to assume you are trying to make a move),
but if you work on just being social and meeting friends of friends, you're going to eventually going to find someone who likes you just the way you are.
im not average .I don't want to win all girls . I just want someone . And I'm not funny with girls because I can't say anything when they never reply .What I mean is they quickly reject me or ignore me and barely reply until I have nothing to say , and sometimes they just walk away . I can't go to bars yet (and I don't want to because there are better men there) and I said this before , my few friends don't invite me to anything when they have girls ( they are all average-attractive looking btw)
from what you say then it's obviously a social problem not an ugly problem, like I said before, if you were *successfully* projecting yourself as a nice, confident, friendly, non-threatening dude, then there's no way these girls would be stonewalling you the way you describe, If your friends aren't invitng you to their parties then you either need new friends or need to consider that maybe there is something in your personality that makes you awkward to be around that you could work on.
its not really social . I'm always normal around guys , but girls have called me ugly before , and one labeled me as "ew"
you truly don't know how hideous I look . I got a 3.4 on this site
ill send to you in private
+overweight people can get girlfriends . I'm not overweight
guess you don't want a pic ?
"there is no way you would universally shunned by every female on the planet"
yeah he could, if his face is anything like mine, trust me...
The hell with the hotties. Women can talk all they want about how confidence and personality will win their hearts, it still comes down to appearance, wealth and everything else on their long list of expectations. If personality and confidence really matter that much, you would see far more women dating/marrying/screwing in the first place. Reality being what it is...
Go for the average to ugly women. They are much more down to earth than the prestine, pretentious babes that truly think their muffins are only for immortals. Keep at the gym, a healthy body leads to a healthy mind. Plus, you never know when you need to run for your life, fight for your life, or just plain work hard. Suicidal thoughts? There is a lifesaving solution...AND IT AIN'T BELIEVING IN THE LORD!
Hire some top dollar sex workers. I've always found it ironic that the same hot women who wouldn't give you the time of day, would screw your brains out for a few hundred dollars as escorts. Trust me, after a good night of sex, your thoughts of self-termination will go away. Depression sucks, vent that stuff with a good few hours of PlayStation...it REALLY works.
The point I'm making is that there are alternatives, use them. You don't need drugs, booze or smokes. So what if the best looking women won't take you, could be a blessing in the long run. If they turn their backs on you...YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON THEM!
Now save up some money, buy you a high dollar Canadian escort and make merry. Hope this helps
i go for women I don't find attractive
Well ofcourse confidence (not cockiness) still matters whether you are attractive or ugly. there's nothing uglier than a person with very low self esteem or false modesty. I know this male friend who is good looking enough (manly, chiselled features), and like false modesty bragging like 'yay some girls still paid me attention when I went on a trip, I still got it', I hate that sh*t. First, be someone that people are not going to hate. I am not sure why no girl lets you talk to them, but I for one am still gonna speak to someone even if they were ugly, and surely can be friends with someone even if they were not attractive to me. I guess you should look at why NO girl talks to you. Its not because you are ugly, there's a lot of ugly people out there with girlfriends.
The real answer is, if there is no initial attraction, regardless of whether you are an attractive or not person, it doesn't work. Its hard even for average looking or beautiful people to find a partner. Its just not as easy as people make it seem. If you are acting like you will date anyone, you will send everyone running for the hills. at least have some kind of criteria of what you want, someone warm, nice, loving, etc, and stick with that. And compliment them on that if you find someone nice. Give compliments on anything you find nice, their hair their smile etc. Flattery is flattering. And this kind of stuff is nothing to die over. I'm above average attractive and I'm not suicidal for not having a boyfriend. You don't need to die over this kind of thing. It's not a race to win someones approval or be accepted, you have to at least like yourself. if you kinda talked about yourself the way you did in this question, it wouldn't be surprising if no one wanted to be with you, cos you made it sound more hopeless than it is. there are burn victims with gfs.
they are lucky . I am socially awkward and ugly . Women view me as "a piece of sh*t made to make the world an uglier place"
Did they really say that though? Look I mean, most people who are not attracted to some particular person, don't even think about them. They are basically invisible to them. and in the same way you should stop giving a hoot about what they think of you and not give a **** about them. don't give a ****. you're not the only ugly or socially awkward person ever existed. And there are some people with more tragic lives even when they are not physically unattractive.
i lived in a crappy third world country for 14 years , no one cared about me so I'm not going to care about them . And yes I've been called ugly by girls who are really unattractive themselves
Stop looking down at yourself. Despite how you look like, if you tell everyone that you're ugly, than they're going to think you are. Looks aren't everything. Personality matters the most. People with skin problems that make them not even look normal have found love. Do you know why? Because of their kind hearts. Telling everyone that you're ugly is a worse trait than being ugly. If you more confident, and learn to love the look God gave you, than I am pretty sure that Some day, there will be a girl who will like you just the way you are. You ask people if confidence and when we tell you that it does, and does change someone's view, you don't believe us and assume that we're lying. Have some faith in yourself and know this: you must first love yourself before you let others love you. There is no such thing as ugly or beautiful. That's made up by the society, and the meaning of what is attractive will also change over time. Physical beauty is socially constructed, but the inner beauty has always remained still. Trust me, by having some confidence in yourself, and loving yourself, others will accept you too.
i don't tell anyone outside the internet that I'm ugly , but girls still hate me
I go for intelligence, competence, kindness and humour more than looks, any day! Confidence is attractive, but not cockiness - just being at ease with yourself.
It's possible you're giving off a 'desperate' signal - girls mightn't want to chat because they sense you're trying too hard and you want something from them. Also that you don't like yourself.
If you haven't already, try striking up brief convos with girls where it's 'work' not 'social', eg the cashier at the supermarket or the girl working at the bank... Keep it light and short, make a rule that you'll never try and get a number so you know there's nothing at stake. Once you get relaxed about talking to girls where there's no agenda, it's easier talking to them when you do want it to lead somewhere :)
And please do not think about self harm. Your life is important Don't give superficial women that much power over you to make you feel this bad. Do not give up - there are nice girls out there. Make a plan. When you start to accept yourself more I really believe the ladies will follow your lead!
i never said its hard to talk to girls . They just don't let me talk to them
I think it has to be the vibe you're giving. You said you don't have any friends who can help give you feedback - do you have a brother or sister who could help? Does your uni have a counsellor that students can see for free? Also you're probably still growing into your adult looks so you may be happier with how you look in a year or two - a lot of people who weren't good-looking in teens grow to be nice-looking as adults :)
counselor here is 40$ an hour . 50$ for non students . And only a 8 year old brother . I'm 19 , I think I'm done growing
Don't mean height growth. Your face keeps changing throughout life, from baby to senior citizen. Some people look their best as a teen, others settle into their looks later. There was a geeky looking guy I had a crush on in late high school, a couple of years into uni he looked hot.
I saw in one of the other questions quite a few guys on this site haven't kissed a girl and are 19/20. I didn't have my first boyfriend til 19. Don't give up hope; many just start to have success at your age.
i mean my face isn't changing anymore untill I get old which is going to be worse
It happens the whole way through life, it's just subtle til the ageing signs get more noticeable like grey hair lol :) I don't want to be rude, but in one comment - if I read it correctly - you said you're in Canada and another, Lebanon...are you legit?
i study in ca but for Easter I visited my family . I'm in leb now
I see, well if it's any help I've been guilty of stone-walling guys a few times (trying to ignore / give brief answers to make them go away) - it's never because of how the guy looks, it's always because I don't want to be hit on, ie I'm not looking to meet a guy. Where I live blokes don't bother to approach girls to just have a nice chat, they're always wanting something more. So as a girl the best way to handle it is to 'shut it down' right away, politely but with no room for misunderstanding.
but its just sad being lonely
Your problem is your negative attitude and aura. Girls are attracted to guys that are happy and pleasant to be around. It is an instant turn off to a girl for a guy to think they are ugly, you don't have to be cocky but you have to stop telling yourself you are ugly. First of all, girls have ugliness complexes and don't need or want guys that instead of reassuring them how gorgeous they are will say well at least you're better looking than me. Secondly no girl wants to wear the pants in the relationship so if you are all about how ugly you are and how no one wants you, of course they're not going to want to talk to you because that shows you are emotionally needy. Also you have to pick girls that you have things in common with and talk to them about normal things like let's say you're in class talk to a girl sitting next to you about the class you are in, ask her for a pencil or something. Then ask how her day is and what her name is. Compliments and being hit on are a guaranteed way to get a girl to think you're creepy. Add confidence issues and you're probably coming off as needy and creepy.
Luckily this is so easy to fix: stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are not ugly (please note even ugly guys can get girls because they are nice and approachable and make the girl feel good). Tell yourself you are a good person and attractive to someone every day and smile more often especially hen you go to talk to girls make eye contact and do not touch them unless they touch you.
i don't tell them I think I'm ugly or complain about anything . A girl would end all my depression
There is the flaw in your thinking. No girl wants to be responsible for a guys happiness entirely. That's called being emotionally needy and making her wear the pants. You can't get into a relationship and be happy unless you are happy yourself too. And happiness is a choice to notice the good in your life and focus on it instead of the bad.
you really don't get it . I have went up to girls and said hello they said no . They do not know anything about me and they just rejected me . So negative attitude has nothingt do with it
Yes I do and yes it does. Please pay attention to what I said. You cannot go up to a random girl and say hi duh they're gonna be creeped out and intimidated and turned off. You need to at least be a familiar face, hang out with their guy friends, sit next to them in class then talk casually. Do not expect her to be attracted to you, approach as a friend.
no girl allows me to be her friend +the few guys who I'm friends with never invite me to anything when there are girls with them
+alot of better guys than me do it and they succeed
First of all, don't categorized yourself as bottom trash of males. You can try to be beautiful on the inside. Do good! nah, I am not trying to be all saint or anything of that sort, just that girls find guys that do good deeds super attractive!
Those little things like giving up seats for old people, donating blood, donating money even a little, volunteering and what not; it's amazing. Be there when the needy needs help.
And suicidal? seriously? Your life is more valuable than that. And don't try too hard to impress, just be yourself. Don't blow your own trumpet! Let them shine on its own.
And fyi most girls don't judge a guy straight up based on their looks, at least your look won't be the first criteria girls look at before deciding whether they would talk to you. Girls that actually do, you should call yourself lucky for not having anything to do with them. They judge a book by its cover so why bother talking to them? It's their lost I guess? well, of course unless you have a "black heart"? not literally.
And don't settle for girls that are desperate. Look for one that actually cares. You are still so young, what's the rush? If you are nice and have a beautiful heart to begin with, the right one will come to you =) Trust me. Have a little more faith in yourself.
its just been too long and my uni life is going terrible
First of all. Why should you care? Ask yourself. Do you need to date? If everyone is really so judgmental, are they really worth dating?
You have made it a fact in your head that that's true, and as long as you believe it... You won't be able to see the diamonds in the rough. You'll only see the ugly people(aka the people with bad attitudes, and hateful or judgey opinions).
To answer your question: "Does confidence matter when you are ugly?" Yes. Confidence is the ONLY thing that matters. Because you cannot change your appearance. Or even if you can, what little bit you can change will never matter, because it is confidence that is beautiful. It is love for yourself that people see.
Yes, there are few exceptions. Superficial people seeking superficial looks...but are those relationships even worth anything? If they are really that shallow than they must be quite miserable.
I've been considered both unattractive(when I developed horrible acne)...and attractive by the general majority...but it's done NOTHING for my self esteem I can tell you. Because since the boy I loved, turned me down in a really heartless way. I haven't been able to trust anyone.
You shouldn't care what the majority thinks! Period. Whether people hate you...or whether they adore you.
I've learned the hard way that admiration, can quickly turn to hate. Hatred and admiration are not opposites. They can switch quickly.
Everyone is vying for admiration. But true acceptance is what they really want and need. Admiration is just fake. It's not real. And in a way...it's good that you have seen those people's bad sides. Because it forces you to decide whether you are going to listen to these people who will adore you one day and hate you the next.
Btw, the guy I was in love with was not super sexy. It was his attitude about himself and his charm and humor I found attractive.
everyone assumes I've always been sad , No when rejection got too much , I found out that I was less than a man . I thought I was someone before but girls showed I'm trash
Confidence can lift a woman off her feet (metaphorically). It works on a lot of women, but yes, looks play are a role in many women's assessment of a man. It's just human nature.
Dude, we all have our insecurities. I ask myself sometimes if I am attractive, according to my peers, apparently I'm attractive. I'll take their word for it but that doesn't mean I'll stop asking myself.
The key is to STOP comparing yourself to others. It's easier said than done but you were born to make a name for yourself. Ambitions-wise, you are born to serve you and only you until you are ready to take responsibility for others (i.e. starting a family or taking care of your aging parents but of course, show compassion while you're going wherever you are going).
The problem with today's society is that many people expect too much from others because of the standards placed by the media.
You should travel the world and see how good you have it. Some people aren't so fortunate.
Bottom line is we can't impress every body, and sometimes we unknowingly impress those who aren't even in our radar.
u said don't compare yourself to anyone , then to compare myself with less fortunate people
I'm saying get a scope of the world. All I am saying is that there are those who complain a lot more out there.
With the "Don't compare yourself to others" -- I meant don't compare yourself to Hollywood.
well women want a hollywood looking guy theses days m even fat girls
That's unfortunate.
The Hollywood crowd spend money to their faces. Surgeries, facial, derma, laser, etc.
And oh, Photoshop and other photo editing software out there play a huge role too.
Oh search "Dove ad: The Evolution of Beauty (Time-lapse)" on YouTube if you haven't seen it already. One of my college professors showed me that vid.
Here's your problem - "I have very low standards", and here's why: Ugly girls are much, MUCH harder to talk to/hit on than beautiful girls.
You also have another problem that you probably don't realize, and that is confirmation bias. You have a deep down belief that good looking guys can get girls just on their looks alone, and so you view the world with this tinted perspective. i.e. you may see a beautiful girl with an ugly guy from time to time, but your brain doesn't notice them because it doesn't fit into your belief system.
Here's what I recommend you do. You need to spend a good amount of time practicing talking to beautiful girls without any intent or subtext. Just good, friendly conversations about random things so that you can learn what topics of conversation they're into, what stories you can tell that get good responses, and generally build up your confidence at being natural around beautiful women. Once you've gotten this down, the rest will work itself out naturally.
If you want an extra entry level starting point for this, just go to Hooters - the girls are paid to flirt with you, so it's like a subsidized training program for talking with women.
Good luck.
finally helpful advice thank you , but we don't have a hooters here . I used to talk to attractive women , I got the same result that I am getting now
It would be great if you updated this question with some of your interests and strengths so we have a better idea of who you are outside this slump/bad mood, and so we know what things you can build on...
In any case, I really don't think you're in as bad a situation as you might think. Girls honestly aren't such narrow minded boneheads - we have different preferences, so as long as you are nice, friendly and warm, there is someone out there who will find you attractive. People have already said below that it might be a good idea to keep doing things that make you feel good and don't revolve around "getting a girl" - it's good for your self esteem and in building relationships.
Suicide is such a waste when you're so young and don't know what's around the corner. Maybe you could also speak to a counselor at your uni, I'm sure you're not the only one who has felt this way before.
counseler costs money . For students its a 10% discount which is still too expensive from me
Ugh, that's ridiculous, where do they think students are going to find that kind of money?
Anyway, I found this National Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800- 448-4663 or see this link:
allaboutcounseling. com /
crisis_ hotlines. htm
GaG doesn't let me post links so I've added spaces.
those are usa services . I'm not in us
I'm sure there's a hotline wherever you are. PM your location if you want help finding one, I've got mad google skillzzzzzz.
lebanon
Here's a best answer: A girl would rather get with an "ugly" guy that works out at the gym, is social, and has confidence (pretty much someone who tries) than some "ugly" guy who doesn't work out isn't social or tries to be and has zero confidence.
So keep up the good work because I'm sure there's plenty of guys you look better than and have even worst luck and confidence than you do, plus you go to the gym, girls love a fit man.
*PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't think about suicide because that's not healthy and your life is VERY important just as important as mine or any one else's
in you're example . you didn't mention that they have options of going after men who are better than me (average looking and up )
+ whenever I try to argue , people tell who do you think you are ? ( I don't matter to anyone)
have you tried just asking like just going to the grocery store and asking where something is? I used to be so afraid of talkign to guys that I couldn't even do that. there are classes out there that can teach you how to approach women, and show you how to be more confident. believe me, I know it sucks to be looked at like your weird by someone that your trying to talk to and there not having it, I've been there before.i personally think its easier for guys to get girls if there funny and charming, no matter what they look like, its much harder for ugly girls. what kinds of things are you into, hobby wise?some place that has a lot of women, and is interactive will take the pressure off.
can I say in private
you're at a place where you're going to get shot down no matter what you do.
If you think you are confident and you still think you're ugly you're not really confident.
Being confident... You have to be able to sell it. And you can't sell it if you don't believe it.
Imo you're trying to hard. You're not going to get a girl like this. So screw it. do something else. go be a badass at something.
And worry about chicks later.
The fact that your question smacks, practically drips with self-pity and insecurity, makes me think that you haven't really appeared confident, even if you thought you did. Girls can smell insecurity on a dude. You can't fake confidence. And you clearly don't have it.
So you have to learn it first, but confidence isn't something you can take a class on or force, it has to happen naturally, you have to really believe it, and you have to own it. Love it, stroke it, pet it.
Just like tommy boy
i used to believe I was worth something . but women and constant rejection showed me I was worth nothing
confidence isn't believing you're worth something.
It's about not caring what you're worth. That is to say.
"the highest of good form is to not know that you have good form"
and is you're woth tied up in women? then you've got your priorities in a knot. and it wasn't a question of IF you lose your "confidence" it was a question of "when"
your way of thinking is toxic.
have you ever been called ugly by multiple women ?
yes.
I said "f*** you"
really ?
actually I said "f*** you you're a bitch" but yeah, close enough
hello you ;)
It is my understanding that if a girl is not attracted at all then confidence won't change that BUT if a girl has some attraction to a guy then confidence does matter. Confidence just makes relationships easier, comfortable, fun, stable and a bunch of other things.
Plenty of 'ugly' people do get in relationships, you can't deny that.
Now you shouldn't give up because if you give up hope then you become suicidal and I don't want you dying. It is entirely possible for someone, somewhere to want to date you and if you give up hope you will never discover those possibilities.
And you're not wasting your time at the gym (unless you're one of those people who go to the gym and actually do NOTHING except play on their phone...). If you do get a girlfriend (which is entirely possible) I'm sure she will appreciate it and exercise is good for your health! ...on that note eat more vegetables :D yay
Take care :)
Confidence definitely matters. It matters because it takes confidence to actually go through with something. And it also matters because when you muster up all that courage only to get rejected, your confidence basically shatters.
In this regard, confidence sucks. It's just way too fragile.
I found that arrogance helped me more than confidence ever did. Arrogance in the sense of "if you don't like it then leave."
And if your face is really affecting your life that much and you can't live with it, then sit down and talk to a cosmetic surgeon. Save up, get work done in stages, and move on with your new life.
Ok, when it comes down to it, not everyone is physically beautiful. Not even half of us are. Walk down the street and notice how many people are plain jane, less than glamourous . . . it's quite a few, the majority I'd say. Now start looking at their hands, a lot of them will be, oh, wait, is that a WEDDING RING? A wedding ring on that ugly womans hand? A wedding ring on that fat guys hand? Why yes, yes it is. They aren't going to have a supermodel waiting for them at home, but they do have a spouse, one who cares for them. Less than attractive people find relationships everyday, typically with other less than attractive people. Are you talking to supermodels or normal people? I have a friend who is overweight and has a 'less than attractive' face, but he's also one of the most down to earth decent guys I know. Except for one thing, he wants a HOT girl. You have to have something equal to offer. I wouldn't be giving up if I were you, I'd be thinking outside of the box.
read the question please . I don't go after average-attractive girls
I did read the question. My point still stands, less than attractive people get together EVERYDAY.
1. Ugly & beauty lies solely on discretion of the beholder - undeniable fact
2. There is no denying that we are naturally hardwired to perception of physical beauty & ugliness hence, being ugly is a fact
3. Accepted that even confidence, knowledge, mannerisms etc can't get over physical / facial 'ugliness' because of point 1
4. However, if the other person loves the 'ugly' person's traits, nature etc he/she will always find the 'ugly' one attractive and crazily so - again an undeniable fact
5. Having said that however, someone who is not confident, believes in self, isn't optimistic etc will unwittingly push away someone who actually likes them because they are writhing within self and mulling over how ugly they are :)
6. End of the day it's on the other person (beholder) and you how things work out :)
7. Can't change certain facts & fate though :)
8. Keep an open mind always which will go a long way :) :)
Good luck :)
first of all bro never let this idea of "i'm worthless and ugly" pull to the bottom maintain to live according to yourself take the path you know and set a goal for yourself to achieve and focus on this job I heard you saying "what could this possibly help me ?" By focusing on the another thing out of love gives you a purpose and this purpose helps you to drag your attention and again helps you to avoid getting obssessed (not sure I spelled it correctly) with idea of "I must find someone "and hopefully makes things easier for you
A lot of my friends care about the guy being attractive so I can get where you are coming from but that doesn´t mean that it is that way for everybody. I have a guy friend who is relly ugly but his attitude and the way he treats girls makes him really attractive. He is really chivalrious, he is/acts secure about himself and he tries to be really sociable. He has a pretty girlfriend and everything. Remember everybody will alaways think something bad about you, no matter if you are really hot or not. People will always talk, I think that is what you should be trying to work on. I´m not super pretty or anything but some people think the worst of me even if I am always nice so just try to work on that.
if some girls hated me then I won't care . but when all of them do , that hurts
And the girls that hate you are all that? They obiously aren't. You have to pay attention to the type of people that give you crap. If you are smarter , nicer or better that them in some really good sense like that then don't pay attention to them.
if I can find any girl who would give me crap then I would pay attention
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