How to talk to a shy girl?

[Kiet_Ngu]

This has always bugs me

im fine talking to any other girl than shy girls

there is one in my history class who is just so damn shy

i try talking to her but she only responds with one word every question or everything we talk about

shes really pretty though and I wouldn't mind getting to know her but its hard when you can't talk to them

our first talk was when she was alone so I though I might talk to her and when I went up to her and said hey. Her face got red real fast, at first I thought she was allergic cause it was like cherry red. and I assume that it was my cologne that maybe she is allergic to it or something because my mom sneezes when I have it on close by to her. so I took it off and the next day after that I tried talking to her again and her face still got red and then that's when I finally realized she was shy. lol I'm really naive lol

[Sorrow]

I'm shy like that.. and I can't help it.

If her shyness is anything like mine, she will dislike the fact that she finds it really hard to talk to you; but for some reason she just finds it really hard to talk even if she wants too.

When I started college, I didn't have many friends for that reason and as I didn't leave the house much to see friends, I lost contact with a good portion of them... which is fine as they never really cared; and my good friends stay in contact with me through msn and see me every so often. Anyways, I went off the point a bit... but in college, I didn't really know anyone and this boy started to talk to me; I could tell he was quite confident in himself about talking to people in general. He would ask me questions and I'd feel awful because I found it really hard to continue a conversation, I would answer and that would be it... he seemed really nice as well. It came to the point when he asked me why I was like this and I said I didn't know and that I have always been kind of like this, I even said that I'm really quite loud and fun with family and friends; he then asked why I'm just not like that in college and around others... I said it is just too hard for me to be that way for some reason. You get the idea.

She probably has her own reasons, but there may not be much point asking as her shyness could be her natural behaviour or something may have happened to her when she was younger that squashed her confidence when talking to new people or just in general.

She may also have gone red because she thinks your cute or something and the fact that your actually giving her the time of day unlike others she has liked in the past, maybe.

[Anonymous]

i agree with marley86. I've been a shy girl all my life. when I started college I didn't have a lot of friends, and rarely talked to boys, one guy in my class I always saw peeking at me and id lightly blush and look down because I didn't know how to make eye contact, I was always alone too because I didn't know anyone in our lecture, one day after class ended I was gathering up my books and getting ready to leave, and he came up to my desk and said hey and we started talking, but I had a very low voice and kept looking down because I was so shy...and he seemed a bit nervous too but he kept talking and I smiled back and now that we introduced ourselves, week after week he'd continue to randomly come up to me and talk, and not only did I gradually open up since he gave me the confidence to, I mean if he was turned off by my shyness day 1 and never approached me again id be insecure and feel like sh*t, but the fact that he was eager to know me more and be my friend made me open up and a whole new side of me came out, I'm in love with him. not only do I love him, but I admire him for his courage, something I wish I had...plus he's cute and hot and smart too ;]

so don't be afraid to talk to a shy grl...they just need a little reassurance and a big push sometimes...dont ever walk aaway or never approach her again, keep on talking to her like uve known her forever and I'm sure she will open up and be head over heels with u

[marley86]

Hearing about this girl reminds me so much of myself, and there might be a way to help this girl overcome her shyness; at least towards you. A lot of people think that if you just keep talking to someone shy, and constantly bombarding them with questions that they will open up, but sometimes this just makes them feel more uncomfortable. The reason they feel so uncomfortable is because it puts more attention on them, and makes them feel more pressure to find the right response. I would suggest asking for her phone number, and trying to build a friendship with her outside of class. When guys would flirt with me in class, I would never know how to respond to it, because I thought they were just trying to get the shy girl to talk; and weren't really interested in me. But, if they would try talking to me outside of class, and asked for my phone number I felt a little more confident about it. A girl can be beautiful, and have confidence in her appearance, but lack confidence in her ability to interact with other people.

[valentin87]

Why are girls like you so shy? what's the reason?

[JustDance]

Some people are introverts others extraverts, is one reason.

[romantiquee15]

Coming from someone who's been shy...another reason is we are still trying to learn who we are and don't have the confidence yet to be our "whole" selves in public..and it doesn't help when people categorize us as the shy type either, we assume we just are that way in public especially high school kids and don't think much about changing ourselves. until we are absolute ready and sick of being so damn shy all the time and want change that's the only time you'll see change in us. complicated I know

[marley86]

Well, I think-at least in my case-that it has to do with early childhood experiences. I moved around as a child, and what was acceptable in one place wasn't in others. Also, my olderr sister was very cruel to me growing up, and she spent a great deal of time trying to convince me that I was worthless. I didn't realize until I got older it was just because she was jealous of me

[Sorrow]

I agree with you marley, unfortunately had people start calling me mute and the such... which kinda made it worse. no one really liked me much in school for some reason, I mean I know I'm shy and can be a really hard person to get to know but it seemed like people would use my shyness as a way to bully me... :/

[enviro_shery]

Well said!

[marley86]

Sorrow-sorry I am commenting like 3 months later-I understand what you are saying about the bullying thing. A lot of people that don't have confidence look to those that are vulnerable to make themselves more appealing. Picking on a shy person is easier for them, because they know you won't have much of a response.

[LuisDC21]

I am in the same position you are in man! Their is this girl I like a lot but she is so shy! Its been over a year and she still hasn't opened up to me. I am remember when I first met her she face turned super red and was lost with words. Second time I saw her, she tripped and almost fell to the floor. Even though she is shy, she is very intelligent. I think shy girls are special and are definitely worth the shot. I know she likes me but something is hloding her back. The best thing that I can do which is my best quality is the little we talk, is to listen to her. When I do that, she talks to me for hours. I hope she will open up one day about the feelings she has for me. Don't quit man, Shy girls are worth it!

[Fount]

I hope you're not still waiting. Blatantly you need to initiate and let her know how you feel.

[valentin87]

"at first I thought she was allergic cause it was like cherry red* great quote. lol.

seriously, you seem to be her biggest crush. if I were you I'd invite her to my home. she will use the oppurtunity, cause she obviously likes you. if you invite her then she recognizes that you also like her. she might get less nervous then. I'm pretty sure she starts talking then.

what kind of questions did you pose? make sure you pose questions that she can not answer with a simple yes/no. make sure you pose more difficult questions so that she's forced to talk about herself.

[Jackk]

Just tell her how you feel man.

[shadowcat517]

It definitely sounds like she likes you. And that you talking to her is something she's imagined for a while, but when it actually happened, she couldn't respond because she was too embarrassed. For starters, ask her opinion on a teacher/assignment/book she's reading or something, something that she can't give a short answer for, then see where it goes from there. Or, if she gets really good grades in something you're not that good at, then ask her for help. Or IM/text her, because it's so impersonal. Either way, get conversation going, because she might be someone that's really worth getting to know.

[crazymedic]

yeah really all you can do is keep at it.. and keep asking her questions that tend to require more than a one word answer.. like what did you do this weekend and stuff.. yeah it can be really hard to talk to a shy girl. she will eventually open up. maybe if you ask her for help in something your studying like: do you know what ... meant when s/he said this? I'm not quite sure.. or something.. maybe that will get her to talk a bit.

also she probably became even more shy after her face turned bright red the first time.

[shuba]

try to approach her casually... for some weeks try to say hi and smile... not anything else. try not to interact with her. I know this is mean what I am going to write... but if you want her. follow it... then after some weeks of saying Hi with a smile... try to ignore her. not rudely ... but pretend as if she doesnot exist. I am telling what all you have done in weeks. she will be impressed. and once when she notices you ignoring her. She will definelty out of curosity try to talk to you... and Look. it will take "TIME" for her to be with you. be paitent. :)

[hdashnau]

If she's really really shy like I was for years and years, its going to take her a long time to come out of her shell. Like some of the others said, asking a bunch of questions sounds a lot more like an interrogation to a shy girl and stresses her out more making her go inside herself even more and be even more quiet. The best thing you can do is entertain her. Not like a clown or comedian, but just open yourself up to her and share a bunch of stuff about yourself. When I was shy I loved to listen to other people talking. If she makes progress of any kind, making a comment or asking you questions or whatever, encourage her by reacting positively and sharing more info. Don't ever make her feel bad or ask her about being "shy" Just pretend she's normal and eventually shell wake up and start sharing more if it feels safe and positive with you.

[mormongirlmichl]

shy or she likes you...but you're really sweet to take it off to talk to her because she may be allergic, just thought I'd put that out there...but um, she seems shy, PLUS she likes you, so you just need to keep doing what you're doing. Talk to her until she's comfortable with you. Just keep doing what you're doing...it will take time...that's the only tip I have for you really...smile reassuringly...use open ended questions...don't get too, too close, don't talk a whole bunch at once, just a few minutes a few times a day... stuff like that! :)

[mscuriosity]

Aw! I used to be shy like that, but I kinda grew out of it =] Just talk to her more, make little jokes and try to get her to smile or laugh or open up just a little. Maybe say something cute, (if you want to have a possible relationship in the future) like, 'how could such a pretty girl like you be so shy?' or say something like 'you know, I'm trying soo hard to talk to you and get to know you, but I guess pretty girls take time to trust somebody' ;) Try to make her smile and make her feel comfortable around you! :)

Let us know how it goes! :)

Good luck bud!

[jessica54]

Just keep tryign to talk to her..It seems that she is going all red and shy when you talk to her maybe because hse likes you..I no my friend when this guy who she liked talked to her she couldn't really sya anythign she thought she was going to say somethign tstupid.too get him to make fun of her and maybe she thinks that..try talkign to her nad smiling stat off with small conversationt hen try bringing it into soethign moree talkable. :D

[SweetLikeCandy]

haha, I have a lot of shy friends,

and whenever a guy is interested in them they almost always like them back,

so I usally have to start the convo for them, and help out the guy,

so with the shy girl try and talk to her when she's around her friends first,

she'll feel more comfortable, and her friends might help you out,

once you've gained her trust that you're not gonna laugh at her or something she won't be as shy anymore. :]

oh, and try Facebooking or texting her.

[beerY33]

You have to be really patient. Of course it depends on the girl, but after a while she'll probably open up...just keep at it.

[Kiet_Ngu]

Its been half a year!!!!!

those little conversation at class

i guess she did better with the whole red face

it isn't as red as it was before lol

[beerY33]

Aw, she must be really really shy. I wonder what makes her so shy if she's a pretty girl.

I'd say you should just ask her out. That might be the only way to convince her you really like her. It seems like she most likely likes you back as well, so I doubt she'd say no. Then she's bound to start opening up at least a little more...

[enviro-shery]

Being a pretty girl has nothing to do with being shy.

[beerY33]

That's true, but a lack of self confidence does, and pretty people are less likely to have self esteem problems, you know?

[asdrubal]

try harder and don't give up.. shy girls tend to be worth the effort! oh and the funnier your conversations are the more confortable she'll feel

[VictoriaRain]

just get to know her... eventually she will open up =)

[wally]

keep trying she likes you. ask her to go out with you

[indian408]

just open up yo pants and say "interested"? HAHAHHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous]

lol!

you're so sweet for thinking that!

actually...i'm a shy girl! I met this guy who I really like, and I want to ask him to prom,but I can't eaven have a real conversation with him!

damn damn shy me!