How to tell a guy you just met that you don't want sex?

I just went out on 2 dates and this guy starting getting pretty fresh with me and I guess I was at fault and didn't tell him to stop until it got too far. Then I told him I didn't want to go all the way.

I'm suppose to see him again this week and I don't know how to tell him that I don't want to have sex with him because one it's too early I don't even know that much about him and other I don't believe in sex before marriage.

How do I get myself out of his situation. I do like him but I feel like I have given him the wrong signal. What do I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just apologize for leading him on. Let him know you are interested in him but want to slow the physical part of your relationship down. Your hormones got the best of you and that's not who you are or how you want to be. If he's a decent guy, he'll understand!

    When I met my husband we got kind of hot and heavy on our first few dates, but then I stepped back and said you know that's now how I want to be. I'm not the type of person that rushes to bed with someone so soon after just starting to date. We eventually did go all the way but not for a good while. Later on he told me he really respected me saying that because supposedly "no other girl" ever stopped him and that's how he knew I was "marriage material". Haha!


What Guys Said 2

  • Even if you did give the wrong signal, the guy should respect your wishes in this. If he's moving that fast on you then he's only after one thing anyway. It wouldn't be a great loss if you didn't keep the date with him this week.

    The way you get yourself out of this is by calling him and telling him you are uncomfortable around him and feel things just wouldn't work out anyway. If he's a decent guy he will understand and back off. If he's a rat he will try to convince you he's really a good guy and just got carried away or some similar BS and will pressure you into another date.

    If you do keep the date with him (which I advise against) just wait and see how long before the leopard starts showing his spots again.

  • Shit, stand up for yourself. If someone is trying to make you do something you don't want to do, stiffen your back up and tell him no. I disagree with April's advice to apologize - you ladies get yourself into self-esteem traps by apologizing for things that aren't your fault. Sounds like he pressured you past the spot where you were comfortable - why blame yourself? Hold your own feelings and wishes above his and don't feel obligated to serve him, dig.


What Girls Said 2

  • Just be honest with him and tell him you think that you guys moved a little fast and you would like to take it slow. That you want a healthy relationship and you feel like taking it slower. If he is respectful to you and likes you he will totally understand. If he doesn't? Then its not really a big loss for you. You might have given him the wrong signal, but we are women. Don't we do that all the time? Just be honest. It will work out. :)