Are these signs of a shy guy interested in me or not?

1) When he passes me, he rarely looks at me, but if he's with his buddies he always actively speaks to them. Basically he shows he is very busy talking with that person. Once he started to laugh loudly (there was something funny the other guy said), but covered his cheek with his hand exactly in the moment when he passed me. Sometimes when he passes me, he has that p*ssed look and shows he doesn't see anything around him.

2) Sometimes I have a feeling he looks at me from afar, but he is very sneaky and I never catch him in a direct stare. I have just cached him turning away.

3) When we bump into each other, it seems he has like surprised look on his face, although we work in the same building and it's not like I'm not supposed to be there.

4) When I take up my courage to look into his eyes he kinda becomes scared, but holds my gaze, still I feel he's uncomfortable.

5) When I ask him How you're doing. He shrugs shoulders and says OK, and then ask the same question to me, but that's about it.

Once we had a small talk and he said he's shy, but I doubt it as he always hangs out with his two female (so he isn't shy around women) co workers and seems to enjoy it. Haven't seen him flirting with them though. The same applies to the thing that he always actively speaks with his co workers, when I'm around somewhere.

Is he totally scared of me, not interested or what? Maybe I'm reading to much in it, but I always try to start conversation by asking How is he and hope he gives something more, but he never does and I feel like he is plain uninterested and I just walk away.


Most Helpful Girl

  • he could be totally shy and have a mini crush on you. May be he has a girlfriend or an ex he's not over and doesn't want to date right now, may be he had a bad experience with a grl so he's being a tad bitter to you...but he's not completely ignoring you or giving you a negative signal...i guess he's just being single?

    ive learned that guys can easily talk to girls they don't care about (female friends, coworkers etc) doesn't mean theyre into them, its just entertainment and friendship, but the one grl they like or have a crush on, theyre quiet and shy in front of you never know...

    i would suggest you just continue being nice and friendly, when you walk by him just say hi give a neutral smile, and give a polite eye contact, he will slowly form some type of bond with you, after you become more familiar to him and it can grow into something bigger from there on...just don't push it or be overly flirty...

    i have a feeling he either had a bad experience or just wants to be single right now though so don't take it personally lol, give him his space =)

    • Thanks, that's a very good advice. I kinda heard he had recently came out of relationship, which didn't work out. I doubt he has a girlfriend but I'm not sure. He hangs around one of his female co worker though...she gives him ride home every day, but I think she's married.

    • I totally agree with this, but don't give up! Start making friends if you can - take it slow and as soon as he is comfortable it may work out...?!

    • Well, you see it's 3 month, but nothing changed until I decided to drop all this, cause he seemed really not interested. I started to avoid him (not obvious but tried not to bump into him). And the minute I did that he changed, he now goes out of his way to say Hi, smiles and looks at me ALL the time. Before he just sometimes glanced at me but now he looks so obvious looking until I look at him. Whenever he sees me he smiles or lightens up, no more that pi**ed look from him.

What Guys Said 5

  • If you catch a guy looking at you more then once, and you don't have a booger in your nose, then he likes you.

    • That's the thing I just catch him when he turns away and I can't really say if he was staring or looking at me, although there wasn't anybody else around. It happened many times. But again maybe he is looking if I'm looking and then quickly turns away.

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    • Well, that could be true, but I still can't understand why he freeks out when I try to speak to him. OK, he doesn't want relationship, but it's not like we can't be friends and talk now and then. It leaves me thinking, weather he really likes me very much and just can't find nothing to say to me or I'm like pain in his a..., so much I annoy him...

    • Why don't you ask him?

  • Sounds to me like he does have a thing for you. Take it from a guy who used to be shy, I used to do EVERYTHING in my power to not let a girl know I liked her, but still "admired her from afar" or what-have-you. Try and talk to him about more than just work and "how are you" stuff. Ask him about his interests, his taste in music, where he grew up, brothers and sisters, there's TONS of stuff you could start with. Good luck.

  • i m having same problem with this girl and she used to stare directly at me before I started talking to her friend abt her,nowadays it just stealing glances or her friend looking out ,n I try to talk to her she acts unintrested ,just trying to make her feel comfortable by making short friendly conv with her

    you can do it too just keep talking make him feel comfortable he will come out of his shell

  • Hi there

    I am a shy guy myself too and I sometimes consciously do what that guy does in your story. Ok let me tell you what a shy guy would most probably feel or be thinking in his mind if he does these:

    1)I pass a female who I am interested or semi crush on, whatever you call it, I would be VERY nervous if we look at each other in the eyes. What if she looks away, does that mean she thinks I am ugly or a loser? I don't want to know that so I try not to look at them even if I like her. I can do 1 of the two things, nervously look away, which makes me and her both feel awkward, and pretty much saying to her that I feel insecure around her, which implies I like her, which could possibly make her look away, which is what I don't want to see in the first place. If I don't see it then in my head there is still this possibility that she'll like me, at least she wouldn't feel awkward when I am close to her and look at her from the corner of my eyes. This is because she wouldn't know I want her so hopefully she won't turn around and try to see if I have been looking at her. Or I can pretend she is transparent when I walk pass her or make her feel like I am too occupied to look at her, the advantage is that it looks natural, and I won't look insecure around her. However the disadvantage is the girl may get the impression that I don't like her and make her lose her interest in me when I really feel the opposite. -> basically us shy guys just don't want to know that we like someone so much and yet that person likes us so little, because it really hurts our already small self esteem.

    Also, when he says he is shy in front of female, I think he means it. Ask yourself this question, are the 2 female co workers that the guy always talk around less pretty than you are? If yes and significantly, than he is pretty much saying that he is nervous around you, which means hefeel insecure, and guys do that only if they are interested in you. The reason why he said he is nervous around girls is just to indirectly say that, because you are a girl, and since he is not goona say I am shy in front of you instead. For myself I am shy infront of girls I want to date, other girls I am fine talking to, because I don't have worry whether I will ruin my chance with her by doing something silly accidently.

    the surprise look is probably because he feels like "o crap I don't know what to do now to make me feel normal in front of her, because I wasn't expecting that'.

    When shy guy is nervous he'll say opposite things to avoid attention or revealling his emotion. Eg a friend of mine came up and ask me if I liked a girl in our class back in high school, I did like her, but since everyone was listening, I said "no, I don't find her interesting at all." Then she totally lost her interest in me after I said that. I don't believe I said it and I still hate meself for it. Also I think my friend is a total jackass for asking the question in that situation. He ruined it for me.

  • Stop it now...You are describing me...Wow , is that how a girl that I like sees me ?

    I feel myself doing all those things but I just don't know what else to do.

    It's not a problem around anyone else or any other girls. Just the girl I wish I could be with.

    in my case I'm not talking about one special girl in my life right now. I just mean that this same thing has taken over my behavior while I have been around several different girls at several different times in my life.

    I never know how to start...I never know how to reveal to her that I like her ...I'm very self conscious around a girl I'm attracted to , and I find myself ignoring her or feeling pressured around her and trying to make our instances together short , to relieve the pressure.

    I also focus more on whatever I'm doing when she is around , or focus more on who I'm talking to , so I seem busy , or I try too hard to act normal and hide my nervous feelings and it becomes obvious that I'm acting different.

    also...BIG BIG CLUE if he actually told you to your face that he is shy...DUH!







    • Oh, so cute. With my guts I feel he likes me, but I'm not sure, as he shows very weak signs (like MAYBE) and his behavior changes within hours. Once I told him to smile more, cause he looked so sad whole week. The next time he saw me, he smiled like really big and that week we smiled ALOT and had prolonged eye contact every time we saw each other. Then the next week again...nothing...he goes back to his shell, just quick Hi and small smile or again hurries to pass me quickly.

    • And about that pressure is true. As sometimes he like sighs when sees me and becomes sooo quiet that I berely can hear him, like the other day in cafe. He practically ignored me and I was so sure that I annoy him, cause he was so chatty with buddies and not a glance in my direction. But after two hours I caught him peaking at me, like wondering if I'm mad or something, I looked back and smiled. And quick question to you. Do you sometimes while glancing at your crush have serious face?

What Girls Said 7

  • if he doesn't try harder to get to know you, then I'd say you're overanalyzing and he's just trying to be friendly and that's it

  • I tell this to EVERYONE that asks this question (and believe me everyone asks this...) but the answer doesn't matter what he does/doesn't do doesn't matter how different your situation is from everyone elses. Fact of the matter is...wondering and fearing rejection are BIG time wasters. Its only a lose-lose situation.

    The key is (wait wait...hold on for the me it'll be enlightening)...

    The answer is...


  • This guy could like you, or not. Its hard to tell and based on the list of things you listed here because they are all very vauge. The best thing you can do is get to know this guy better. If he does like you, he needs to feel comfortable enough to ask you out. If he is nervous because he likes you, this can wear off over time and you guys will be comfortable enough around each other and it will give you a better chance of being asked out. As for the women colleages, you can't assume anything based on his relationship with them because he could have known them for years and that's why he is comfortable around them, not necessarily because he is lying about being shy. They also can just be his work pals and hanging out with them for bussiness purposes. The best thing you can do is get to know this guy.

    Hope that helps!

  • Ignore him if he still doesn't try the He's not interested

  • Some guys are like this. Don't worry about this too much. Be your self when he is around. What is important is how do you feel about him? Do you like him?

    It seems to me that this guy likes you and is attracted to you. But these sort of guys will not come and talk to you or open up to you so easily. There could be some other problems in his life too, like an ex-girl friend still in the picture or something.

    So do not worry too much about this. Talk normally with other gusy and be easy. He would eventually talk to you. When he does, be easy and nice. These guys take a long time to open up.

  • I think he's just not interested, to be painfully honest.

    • I have the same feeling, but I kinda try to stay friendly, but again he looks like I scare a living hell out of him by starting to talk to him. It's OK if he isn't interested, but it seems I have to start to ignore him, otherwise he twitches every time I'm around.

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    • Well now that you ask I'm drawing a blank but if you're outgoing enough just say something like "Hey cutie" and see his reaction. If he likes you he'll most likely show it after that. You just have to put yourself out there for the shy ones. Good luck!

    • Thanks