Why is she so nervous around me?

Why is she so nervous around me? I try talking to this girl but she seems very nervous. I'm very calm, cool, smiling and friendly toward her. She comes off as very compulsive when I'm around like acting weird. She doesn't always look me in the eye except when she talks to me. Then she'll mention stuff that I have that she doesn't like or why did I pick it. Its too bad because I really like her too. If I go over to her and just talk, she kinda just keeps carrying on...

Updates:
Thanks for the answers, ultimate question(s). Should I still go see/talk to her? I normally go every day (its on the way home for work and I look at deals), or should I break up in seeing her every other day? Twice/thrice a week?
 

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What Girls Said 57

  • Haha! I bet she is just nervous. Don't compelety give up on her yet. :PMaybe if you say something stupid or just be kinda' like loose then she will feel more like she can loosen up. :)

  • there are really basically 2 possibilities. she is either REALLY into you too, and is just super nervous, or she isn't into you and is trying to send you a message. I'd try and flirt with her and make her laugh. You should casually be like "me you and some friends should go see a movie sometime" and see how she responds. if she says no, she is most likely not into you.

  • That's how I act... Yes, I know it sucks and in the name of all girls who do this, I'm sorry! ^^'Of course, that's how I act when I have a crush on someone...

  • idiot, she's into youyes go talk to her!gosh! why are men so blind!well, I guess to you we are too...id really like some fullproof way to know if a guy likes you,...do you know any?

    • BTW I'm not referring to the Op.

    • Some of us aren't as blind as you'd like to think. Many of us guys have a zero tolerance policy for disrespect. She might think he's an idiot for not making a move when in-fact she simply doesn't realize that she blew the whole thing ages ago and he's moved-on. He might screw-up and decide to sleep with her, but not without the cognitive dissonance. There are plenty of women out there who know how to love and respect men so we don't feel the need to settle for just anyone.

    • I think that's what he's asking though, is how can he break the ice with this girl if she keeps it frozen?

  • well are yo REALLY confused or are you just wanting confirmation because you think she likes you loli only ask because that is just very typical behavior of someone that feels dominated by being in crush landi mean I've been there & I hated it, & I did t look at him unless he was talking or I was talking because I did not want to come of as a pervert lohave you ever stared at someone while you are not talking , its a bit creepy plus, my eyes are intense , people always think I mean more than I do expression wise, however tis guy it would all be trueit was like being slightly electrocuted every time I saw himit was painfully difficult for me to talk to him, I HATED that, & it was really helpful when he started getting the picture tat if he talked to me, it made it easier for me to talk, but also that my NOT talking was not a sign that I did not want to talk to him, & eventually he seemed to accept that...initially he got mad because he thought I was ignoring him, then he thought I was just not interested & THEN he thought that I was playing game a & then he just thought I had nothing to say - as a defense against feeling used & or unappreciated ( I hope- well on one ever thought before & its an odd thing to say if you mean it lol)So keep talking to her..also, how close are you to not talking to her, I mean were you going to stop if yo did not get confirmation from people here?how long have you known her?

  • SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES You SHE LIKES Ulol. but ya...um...did you konw? she likes you? seriously I can't stress enough. I'm exactly like this (except I don't say mean stuff, I don't say nething at all) to this guy I like nd I wish he would know DAMNIT I DO LIKE YOU, NOW BE A MAN AND COME OVER HERE!

  • GOd, that's just like me, but when I talk I don't say mean stuff, but I have trouble meeting his eye whiling talking too.. well if she is like me, I would say she is way into you...> AND is also very selfconscious... she might think that you don't like her.. ok?

  • She Likes You But Doesn't Find The Way To Express ItShe Gets Nervous Being So Close To You And SheDoesnt Know What She's Saying

  • well its probably because she likes you and doesn't know how to react because she does like you.. or maybe she's just weird lol. maybe if she is acting weird maybe don't talk to her for a day or so and then see if she comes and talk's to you.. if she likes you she will come talk to you because she would be wondering why your not talking to her and then by her approching you she may not be so nervous cause she would already know what she is going to say.. just a segestion :) good luck bud

  • It sounds like she really likes you

  • that girl sounds a lot like me...im really shy. to make her really want yo maybe try not really talk to her for a day then she will be thinking about you. It may not seem like she doesn't really like you but she probobly does. I'm the same way. I just don't know what to say to a guy. whatever you do font be a jerk. you may think its just flirting but its really a big turnoff.ANSWER MINE PLEASE!

  • It depends, I mean maybe the girl is just shy. Because I remember when this guy liked me and I liked him, he became more confidnet than me, and I was really shy, so until he asked me out I was like, okay I'm not as shy as I was before. So SHE MIGHT HAVE A CRUSH YOU !

  • She doesn't like you, she is not interested in you, stop harassing her, leave her alone and get your own life. If someone ignores you, it DOES NOT mean they like you!

  • She has a huge, huge, huge crush on YOU.

  • I bet she has a big crush on you... but the thing is that she seems to be TERRIBLY SHY, which makes she act so weird around you. She likes you, but she is afraid that she will act stupid or sound stupid, so she ends up looking weird, cause she is too afraid of what you will think of her that she tries hard to don't do anything "stupid".She SURE likes you!

  • I agree, It's DEFINITELY because she likes you. She's just being shy. I'm really shy too and when I really like a guy I also get all stiff and am not myself, I tell myself that I'm just playing "hard to get" but I really just end up coming accross as being cold and unapproachable. It sucks and it's not easy to break through it, but just keep trying to be as easy going as possible. If you like her as much as you say you do, don't be afraid to let her know how you feel either. Sometimes all it really takes is for a guy to act like a man and show a girl that he cares about her without worrying about what other people think about him. Even if it means acting like a bit of a dork or just showing her, even more, that you are a real person and approachable. It definitely would work for me, there have been tons of guys who have liked me, but didn't do anything about it. I may be old fashioned, but It's not attractive when the guy has to be chased after.

  • It is because she likes you and is afraid for you to know I been through that onces but it was a long time ago all you have to do is be patient she will get out of her shell and she does not want to know she looks at you other times

  • Even I do the same when I like a guy, trying hard to be a different me. She being nervous in front of you means you mean more to her. Try giving your attention to some other girl you'll get all the answers.I can bet she thinks about you all day.

  • it sounds to me that she really likes you. I used to be the same around guys that I liked. I over analysed everything that I did, this was probably the opposite to what I should have done because I usually just ended up making a huge idiot of myself. lol. just try and make her feel as comfortable as possible around you. seeing her often may help with this because you become more familiar to her and she'll see you as a normal everyday part of her life.

  • give her some space and maybe she really likes you 2. and yes you should see her every other day

  • Break it up a little bit if she really likes you back she'll miss you and really be looking forward to you coming back. The only reason she can't look at you sometimes or she says she doesn't like things is because she's nervous she really want to just make you pleased with her but you should defiantly break it up a little bit like over two or three days, make her worry make her miss you just to make her realize she actually likes you. Yet, you could always ask her to go to the movies with you just a casual thing, and KEEP SMILING not like a creepy joker but just to calm her down and make her feel comfortable around you. If she says no so what don't act like anything changed around you two or else she'll change.

  • you should do whatever feels right. however, if you really, really like her then continue to see her everyday and work on becoming friends. chances are she will slowly become less nervouse around you as she gets to know you better and feels secure. let her know that ur there for her and taht she can trust you.

  • She likes you but seems to have low self-esteem. In all actuality, do you want to be with someone like that. Don't get to know her out of pity, because you may get involved, see that she's toxic and then she will get very hurt.Tell her straight up that you want to get to know her better and spend time with her. If she says no again. Forget her.

    • I think she has a boyfriend and is just flirty. I haven't been going quite so much so its been a while. I thought by asking her to do something it pretty much means I want to know her and spend time with her.

  • Thats becasue you're gay

  • Hm...I think it up deeto you. .I mean do you have p feeling for this girl are you just a friends? Did you every asks "what the deal do you like me are not?" are have you just been thinking about it? I mean if I was in your shoes I would just come out and asks and if she says arounothing/beats nd it.I would move on cause there are a lot of girls out there.I mean still in the end it up to you.Just take what people may say but also give it long thinking cause it your life. Well hope that helps (:

    • Yeah mind games never been my fav too.Some girls are just funny acting like that hope the next one is better for you. (:

    • I don't know but I don't like mind games, at all. I got enough of that growing up with my mom.I just wanted to know her a little bit, even as a friend, was all.

    • Well look like she didn't beat around it.But I know girls like that and they just like guys chasing them. Well if that what she wanted?

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  • I think she likes you.. how long have you been stopping in an seeing her? have you ever asked her out?

    • Someone else try it

    • I have to go in tonight though, so I wonder if I should check out iwth her or someone else.

    • Well, lately I have been going in a lot less. The last time she was nervy about going on her break, I asked how she was and she gets that way. I just waiting so I can go on break! As she said. After she took of me, she took her time and turned around to ask the guy who relieved her if he wanted anything (I'm directly in her line of sight). Kinda weird for a guy that has to work while she gets to take a break.

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  • It sounds like she likes you too. Does she know you like her? If she doesn't maybe you could try asking her out that way she gets the hint that you like her and you'll be able to go somewhere and chat that might make her more comfortable. If she's really nervous around you, you might try a double date or a group thing if she knows your friends that way its not so awkward for her.

    • My bad I don't read the other comments because I don't like them to influence what my opinion is. That sucks...I'm sorry to hear that. You should probably find out for sure if she has a boyfriend....if she does you should back off. If not maybe she's just scared to go out with you or maybe she wants to know your willing to chase after her. Good Luck!

    • I don't know if you read the other comments. But I basically updated stuff in the comments below about how she asks me stuff and what not. I asked if she wanted to do something with me sometime (I kinda suprised her with that) and she said, "No".

  • The only way I can get over being nervous around a guy is if I get to know him in a comfortable setting like in a group of people. Is she is as nervous as is sounds then she would not be comfortable with a one on one activity yet. You just have to show her that there is nothing for her to be nervous about. Show her who you are and let her get to know you and she might let you get to see the real her and eventually she will notice that she is comfortable around you. I once was intimidated by this guy but we talked a lot and hung out around each other and then one day I realized that we knew enough about each other that we could accept each other for who we were and that I couldn't remember the last time I felt nervous around him.It usually means that she likes you if she is nervous around you unless you're just an intimidating person but it doesn't sound like it. She is probably just thinking that she is too nervous around you to try to go for anything. If you really like her be patient and show her that she doesn't need to be nervous because you are human too. That's another thing I usually feel more comfortable if they do something so profoundly human that it's almost embarrassing. I'm not saying that you should embarrass yourself it just and observation.

    • Unless you know for sure that she has a boyfriend I would keep going. You could always ask if she is seeing someone. And if your new to area ask her for suggestions to places and then be like o I think you should take me there or would you like to come with.

    • I would, I'm kinda new to the area and leaving in a few months (she knows this). Also, I think she might have a boyfriend? So should I keep going in being interested, or should I kinda back off a bit?

    • ...tell her she should check it out and hope she shows up with some friends.

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  • In mu opinion she likes you and doesn't know what you say or how to act so she just talks about whatever. Poor thing she is probably trying to make herself more appealing by talking to you about things but doesn't realize what she is doing .

    • Oh I sure didn't read that. Then maybe she is just a high energy type of girl who likes to talk. Need more detail

    • Did you reads ome of the comments below? I asked if she wanted to do something sometime and she said, "no".

  • It clearly means she likes you. She knows the moment she starts talking to you she'll blush and you'll know all. Now do you get why she is avoiding you. Avoiding eye contact is one big giveaway. Why don't you start ignoring her for a while. And see how she reacts. Talk to other girls in her presence. If she has even the smallest of thing for you. it'll come out clear.If you want her, then make her want you.Good luck ! :)

    • Did you read the other comments below?

  • Ok, well I tried reading the majority of the comments on the answers to get a better idea of what's going on. It's really hard to tell though. I mean some of her actions point to her having some interest in you, but then again her saying no to doing something doesn't go along with everything else. You say she's a shy girl, that could be the reason she wasn't so quick to say yes to hanging out with you. At work she's sort of in a comfort zone, around people she knows. I think that you are moving to quickly by asking to do something. I would ask for her phone number and if it would be ok if you could call her sometime. Just be sure if she does give it to you not to harrass her with phone calls. Once or twice in a week is good enough for now. Let her come to you is the key, because she's shy. If she says no to giving you her number then I would call it quits. Right now you just want to figure out how her actions relate to her feelings. She may like you, mite just be being nice, could be bored at work and enjoys a good flirt/convo, or she could like you but just not be interested in dating at the time. Sooo, ask for her number and if it's ok to call her, and see what happens after that. Another thing, I wouldn't go into the store more than twice a week, or at least use another check out if you must and just give her the casual smile and hey... Otherwise after awhile you may come off as a creeper.

    • I mean I wouldn't change too much, because if she does like you you'll just confuse her. I would chat with her as normal, but every now and then keep her guessing. Like I said use another check out every once in awhile and just let her know that you noticed her by smiling and saying hi before you walk out. If she gives you her number that's the best way to get her to open up more by talking to her outside of work where she can be a bit more personal with the conversation.

    • Okay thanks. Otherwise should I keep going in to her line and giving her attention? Or should I wait for her to open up more?

    • Yea I would make it easier on her and just ask for her number. She's shy and over the phone may feel more comfortable and less intimidating than in person. Also it's a teltale sign if she is interested or not.

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  • Hm..She could like you and not know how to show feeling/act.She sounds alittle mixed up to me.You should just asks her "What the deal".and if things keep going the same move on. hope that helps

  • maybe she likes you LOL...Im like that around the guy I like.

  • i think she is nervous...like when I am nervous I don't know what to say and I might say somethings sponteniously lol... she might feel intimidated and that is y she does not look you in the eye I do that sometimes I look away and I might be like ooohheemmmggeee lol and just get embarassed lol... maybe she is like picking on You because that is how she is... like she might mean it to be playfull... and you mentioned that you asked her if she wanted to go out and she said no well if she has strict parents like me... they might not want her to date... or go out... my parents have a hard time with that still so she might not be sure wether to go or not... I think is nice of you to go visit her at her job I think you should go once in a while not everyday... so she can get the hint that you like her... maybe you should ask her for her number that would also be a great hint for her... I have a question how old is she? and I hope I have helped..

  • well, some girls are just naturally nervous around the guys they dig. Personally, I'm like that too. Its nerve racking when the guy you really are into is talking to you, because you are really worried about not saying anything too weird, or acting awkward. I'd say she's too worried about making a good impression on you. Why don't you ask her out to coffee? Or better yet, give her your number and that way she has the option to call you if she's interested, and if she doesn't call then at least you don't have to go see her.

    • I am not sure if you read the comments below. I have essentially updated the question through the other comments. I asked her if she wanted to do something with me sometime and she turned away, smiled and politely said, "No". A few days later when I stopped in, she looked at me, grabbed my bleach (I was buying) and said she had a whole thing of it spill on her. Then we shared an awkward moment, "A whole thing of it, eh?"

  • deff. overall she seems to be a hard read. I say with people like that you need to be straight forward. You might think that you are putttig her under pressure , but trust me if she can break away from being shy and tell you what is wrong then maybe she will open up a little more. I can tell by you saying that she talks more around u, that she is into u. But communication is key. You need to be asking her , "hey is it kewl if I come see you today." Some girls might get annoyed by tht constant trying to see her thing all the time. You should still go and see her and talk to her .. she seems a lot like me lol. and the fact that she is very open with things and to me when I do tht its because I want that person to get to know me and I want to feel like I have a bond with tht person. ( If that makes sense =) ) ... Time is deff. a virtue. so take it slow. I hope that I was a help.. if you need more help message me. good luck=)

  • You should try paying attention to how she acts around other people, and that will help you to determine what is going on. Does she talk to a lot other people, or does she simply choose who to talk to? She is probably only comfortable talking to certain people because she has a social anxiety problem. I have a problem with this too, and people say the same things about me. She probably mentions things she doesn't like, or ask question because she has problems knowing what to say in the conversations; so she mentions the first thing that comes to her head. Ask her questions about the things she seems to talk about, and that might help her to relax a little more around you.

    • Thanks for the response. I am not sure if you read the other comments but she basically is pretty quiet around others and seems to only talk to me. I've talked to her on her break and she told me stuff about her (living wise, school, what she wants, etc). She always asks me questions about what I buy, and seems to be a generally shy girl. In other comments below, I asked if she wanted to do something with me sometime, she turned away, smiled and said politely, "No".

  • you asked her out to soon. but I sounds like she's into you

    • Not all the time don't get creepy but don't give up

    • Keep tryin to be around her and all

    • I just asked if she wanted to do something. so what do I do? keep seeing her and be interested? or go to another check out stand for a few times?

  • Ok I just read one of your comments to an answer and now I think I know what's going on. You said that you asked her to hang out and she said no. No matter how shy a girl is, if she likes a guy and he asks her out, she's going to say yes. She's not into you and she's trying not to lead you on. She's not acknowledging you because she's not interested. She's not shy, she just doesn't like you that way. She's nice to you because she knows you like her and she cannot bring herself to be totally mean to you because you like her. She's not giving you much eye contact because she understands that eye contact is a sign of interest. If she said no to you, its not because she's shy, its because she's uninterested.

    • She tells me personal stuff about how she doesn't like her step mother, and is thinking about moving, but likes college. She asks me why I buy the stuff I do, she really takes her time ringing the stuff up. One day she was asking if she had something on her back because the guys put stuff there. I don't know, I'm not some guy who thinks if a girl is friendly she likes me. Besides, I didn't really notice her until she started talking to me. But I do like her. I, at least, want to be her friend

    • She could just feel bad for not liking you back. Just because she doesn't like you that way doesn't mean she doesn't like you as a friend. I mean maybe she does like you but I don't know I don't think so.

    • Thanks. But she always initiates talking to me first. She's the one asking me questions about what I'm getting/doing.

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  • Ok, I briefly read a bit of the other stuff. I'm quite sure you believe youreslf that she likes you already. It does seem that she is a shy girl, and I'll tell you exactly how to deal with one of those. Shy girls usually need to take things very slowly. It gives them time to gradually start feeling more comfertable around a guy and then there's much more chances of her accepting a date from you. I say keep seeing her, but not every day. Don't develope any kind of pattern so she can predict your coming. It will make her wonder where you are and if your still going to come. If she is interested in you, mabe she was too shy to accept a date, but then later wished she was brave enough to exept it. Not always showing up may give her more of an initiative to accepting a date because she won't know if she'll have another chance again or not to accept. Also, it won't creep her out. You may or may not creep her at, but you may want to be careful with that.Sorry to say, but sometimes too much is too much. I once new a guy who liked me and I kinda liked him, but then when I told him where I lived, he took that as an invitation to come see me whenever. Each day after school, my house was on his way home, so he would stop by all the time. It made me feel uncomfertable and I became creeped out by him rather then into him. It's good to show interest, but not too much. Just try to take it easy and not show too much. some About you visiting her at work; some girls don't even like bringing their boyfriends to their work, because they feel they should be working and not socialising. Try befriending her some place else mabe and rather then asking her to hang out, find something you think would be good for you guys to do together and tell her you'd like to do that with her sometime, maybe even include that she can bring a few friends along. Try giving her an excuse for not to feel nervous about excepting. I once wrote an article on here all about how to approach a shy girl. It was featured. I wonder if it's still on here...I look into it and let you know, it would be good for you I think. If you have any questions about what I just wrote or anything, I'll be glad to answer. Hope this helps.

    • Thanks for the input! I don't always go to see her. Like when she tells me when she's working or how late, I won't necessarily show up. But during the week its somewhat consistent.

    • Ok, here's where to find the article http://www.girlsaskguys.com/articles/Flirting/How-Can-You-Get-a-Shy-Girl-to-Open-Up.html but I haven't read it in a long time so I can't even remember if that will help your situation at all or if it is completly irrelevent. Anyway, you'll find it interesting.

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What Guys Said 4

  • If by acting weird you mean giggly and then shy she likes you. Well if you recall the playgrounds of elementary schools boys and girls made fun of each other play fought and tormented each other and beneath the surface they of course had crushes on each other. This behavior never quite goes away tease her back make fun of her a little as long as its not too harsh she will know that this is flirting and not just friendship. Girls are weird like that. Partly its because attractive girls are used to guys just giving compliments and that gets boring. Then ask her out don't wait too long. If she says no its not a big deal even if it feels like it is. She sent you signals so she should expect that and there are plenty of other girls out there good luck.

  • there is a lot of reasons.shy girls are shy for a reason..maybe somiething happened in her past that is keeping here in that shelltheres a good post on shy girls on this bloghere you go link i hope it helps

  • It sounds like she likes you. Otherwise why would she be nervous?However, it REALLY sounds like she's projecting this image of a "perfect guy" onto you and then gets mad when you don't fit into that mold. I would probably stay away.

  • I was after a girl who behaved this way. For years. She's not interested. She's nervous, but probably because she doesn't know how to let you know she's not interested. If you are clear, then she can be too. "Look at deals" ? If you visit her at work and she works in retail, then she has to be nice, but she's got nowhere to run if she doesn't like you. If you want to be sure:Tell her that you like shy girls who say weird stuff because they're nervous. It's so cute. It's a good sign that they'll be really sweet when you get to know them better. Then if she keeps saying wack stuff to you say "awww...you say the cutest little things!"

    • Bringing up her break is an opening for you to ask her when she's taking it. And meeting her during it. She'll flow a bit more when she feels re-assured. Don't do it too much, or she'll feel that you see her as socially disfunctional.

    • Yeah she's been making attempts to talk to me. After I asked her she was saying that all this bleach spilt on her (that I was buying). A few days ago, I was buying cherries, and her attitude always changes around me, she comes off as chipper. I asked how she was doing, she said good. She said she can't wait to go on her break since she needed it.

    • She'll be less inhibited about saying stuff to you, because she will feel re-assured rather than feeling that she is going to look stupid. If she makes more attempts to talk to you, then express you're intent verbally. "I'd love to go see a movie with you, is there anything you're interested in seeing at the moment?" NOT "do something, sometime" - YOu gotta have a plan dude.

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