A man will change, but only for the right woman. True or false?

[loveisbeautiful]

I heard Steve Harvey say today, "that a man can change

and he will change. But, only for one woman. The right

woman"

So, guys do you agree with that? Now, I don't mean change that

is forced upon you or they'll leave you. I mean, change

that this person inspires you to want to make. Not just

for yourself, but for her. She makes you a better man, for

a number of reasons. Because of who she is or how

treats you, etc etc. That's what I mean by change.

So, do you find that statement to be true or false? And,

have you ever had a woman in your life like that?

Thanks : )

Updates

+1 y

First I should state, that after Steve Harvey said that. He followed it with

"Now ladies, this doesn't mean I want you to go find a guy to change and

make him your project" He was just saying, that the right woman could

inspire a change in a man.He never said it was the cure all of everything.


Second, I never ONCE mentioned ANYTHING about a woman inspiring

change in a man who's unchangable or abusive. So, I don't why people

keep mentioning that.

Updates

+1 y

I would like to direct everyone to the person I gave best answer to.

What she said, is what a mean by "change".

[drummerdude25]

That's a completely wrong way to think and go about it. You have to find a guy that is already everything you're looking for in a guy, meaning he is already committed to you as well. You shouldn't be looking to "change" or "fix" a man.

But a guy that had found the right woman will want to make himself better for her in any way that he can. So in a way, what you're saying is kinda true. It just isn't up to you or in your control to determine that. People are going to be who they're going to be. Granted, no one is perfect, but when a man loves a woman, she will inspire him all on her own. And he will want to better himself for her.

Too many young girls especially, try dating broken guys, headed the wrong direction in life, trying to control the outcome and mend them or win them over when it's not in their place to do so. There's always something about the guy that she can't stand initially and that's a relationship doomed from the beginning. If you can't love and respect everything about a person from the start, why bother?

There are guys out there doing their best to be their very best and that's what a girl should be looking for. Not looking to fix somebody up.

[MrOracle]

No.

People rarely change, and when they do, it is ALWAYS because they want to change FOR THEMSELVES. Any changes someone does for another person will always be temporary at best.

Now, can the right woman make a guy WANT to change? Yes, SOMETIMES, but that is in no way guaranteed.

Women LOVE to find a broken man, thinking they can "fix" him. That almost never happens, though, and instead, the woman usually ends up being hurt, used, and often abused. Some guys do the same thing, and usually with the same result.

Broken people need to fix THEMSELVES (often with professional help) before they're ready to be in a healthy relationship with anyone. It's extremely rare for a partner to be able to help a person with serious problems, because you need a detached third-party, usually with some professional training, to do that.

[AmongTheApples]

What he said. A person behaves the way that they do for several reasons, none of which have anything to do with the person whom they are dating. People can change, but they change slowly or after a rare life altering occurrence that leads to an epiphany (and, even then, the change is usually only temporary).

[ndzn17]

I think most people here are getting the wrong intention of how a man can be "changed" by the "right woman"..

I agree to your statement, only because I see it as a way where it is possible for a man to be inspired to change for the better for himself. The "right woman" in this statement, as I see, is a woman who is a positive influence for the man, thus leading him to believe he can change himself in a better way and or because he now believes he has the potential to gain more knowledge in knowing himself.

I don't see this statement as a woman forcing a man to change because obviously that's not what it's saying lmfao.

But as far as I can see, there is someone out there who will make you feel this way.. the way of the fact that you can advance yourself more, achieve what you thought you couldn't before, and actually believe in yourself and become a better stronger smarter person even if that someone didn't even end up being with you in the end..

I would only know from experience :p

[loveisbeautiful]

Thank you, that's exactly what I was saying! I'm glad somebody finally understands what I'm saying : )

[ndzn17]

Lol you're very welcome ! :D

[loveisbeautiful]

Can I ask you something? Did I not explain myself right? Because, I don't get why no one else gets what I'm asking?

[ndzn17]

In my opinion, you seemed to ask it correcticly. Either most people just misunderstood or they didn't read it thoroughl enough to actually analyze the question lol

[loveisbeautiful]

Okay, thanks. I don't usually give out best answer, because I don't like saying one answer was better then another. However, I really liked your answer and I appreciate you taking the time to read

the question thoroughly. Thanks, again : )

[goodbad]

Change starts from within. Almost nothing can inspire someone to change unless they want to change. A woman or anything can't inspire someone to change unless they are already trying to change. Once someone wants to change and is trying to change then you can help change that person. I would said the only exception is a life changing event like becoming a parent or near death experience but even that is rare.

[ndzn17]

@LoveIsBeautiful It is my pleasure c:

And as for GoodBad; you may be right, but only to a certain extent. As far as this question goes, along with every other question, the answer can vary in different ways depending on one thing or another. Yes, your answer is true too, but I jist stated my answer depending on my perspective and what I've been through. No biggy :p

[Cheeseburgers]

When I hear of a woman trying to "change" a man, typically she's trying to turn a player into a person who wants monogamy.

If that is what we're talking about, it has nothing to do with "improving" a person.

[ndzn17]

Umm.. no one said anything about that except for other answerers. We already covered that situation up in my answer

[ladsin]

QA, the reason many people took your question to mean changing them as in their practices etc, is because that is what most girls mean when they say they want to change a man, like oh he's perfect but he smokes I want to change him, or oh he's such a nice guy, I just want him to stop hanging out with his old friends etc. in that instance the woman is trying to change him for what she believes to be "better" but is just trying to ratify herself... anyway that is probably what most guys took it as

[toulouse]

anytime a person respects admires and cares deeply for another. that inspires them to be their best self.

people you admire are a healthy influence.

caring deeply also brings out the good in people, without them trying to 'change'.

its not about men changing for women, or about a person changing at all. just about putting your bst self forward. w/e sex you happen to be.

in addition we are always evolving and much of this has to do with lif, experience, the people surround ourselves with.

every friend you have has an impact on your character and how you think behave feel etc. that's just being human. we learn from each other. and grow with each other. and grow apart from each other... sometimes come together again. other times continue to drift apart. everything changes us. life is change. its not _for_ a person it just happens... like battle scars.

[bunnahies]

i say its both. it really depends on the change.

if its changing something you don't like about them or his personalities and habits. then its false. no woman would be worth it to change that. if he changes that, he's no longer the man you dated but the man you want to date. you may as well find a guy that fits in that criteria.

what I think is worth changing for is trying to be a better person that everyone appreciates. like becoming independent and not relying on other all the time. not competing in every single thing, just have fun because it only hurts yourself if you can't win. helping parents do some housework once in a while and not giving them attitudes. stuff like that

but that's what I think :/

[Theguyoverthere]

This approach sets women up for failure as women keep finding men who are clearly anything but relationship material, and why we have so many guys asking why girls date jerks.

This is just a woman's fantasy of finding a guy who hooks up with women, does drugs, and so on and she hopes to be so charming to him that he stops all this horrible stuff and becomes this "gentleman." Then she gets to go back to her friends and brags about how awesome she has to be because he's a changed man. The problem with this is that it only works in the movies really, and even if the guy were to change for her, she'd get bored and leave him and he'd go back to his "old self" and get even worse. What REALLY happens is that she gets beaten up and abused and told over and over again to leave him while she refuses to listen.

[ladsin]

Firstly, I disagree entirely with the premise, why would you be in a serious relationship with somebody that you wanted to change? Personally when I'm dating a girl I like her the way she is.

Secondly, I disagree with the notion that there is a "right girl" I believe that some people are compatible but there is no "right girl" out there for me or anyone for that matter.

Thirdly, I suppose it is possible, people change. sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse just depends.

Personally I find that a girl can make me want to better myself, however if I sense she is trying to change me, or is expecting me to change it pisses me off. She should "care or love" me as I am not some idealized version she has of me XP

[Phoenix98]

I was with a women who could have inspired me to change but I didn't because I like who I am and she liked and loved me for who I am as a person. I won't ever change I am who I am nothing and no body will change that also I have no flaws worth changing or fixing so I see no reason to change in the first place. There is a difference between fixing bad habits, behavior.

And completely changing someone to what you want them to be not who they want to be you should like and or love someone for who they are and should not try to change them especially when there is nothing wrong with them in the first place but you guys know how women love to find problems were there are none.

[palek]

I worked for 10 years with a keyboard player who was devout and degenerate womanizer. His marriage eventually fell apart but he never missed a beat; new woman after new woman, Then he met a particular woman, married her, had several kids and never (when I knew him) cheated again. He became a new man.

[goodbad]

No that's bs a woman can't change a man. When people change that starts from within 100% of the time. It's possible that outside influences can help someone change but that's rare and that person not only has to want to change but also that change as to already be in progress.

[thewho1975]

I personally think that if you are in any relationship the fact you have another person to consider changes your chain of thought and character without you even realising its a very kinda subtle long process.

[loveisbeautiful]

I can understand that, that makesense. It's nice that there's another person, who understood the question. Thank you : )

[DutchAtheist]

If you need a guy to change, you shouldn't invest your energy in him anyway. The RIGHT MAN will be perfect just the way he is.

Life isn't a chick flick...

[JohnnySS]

do you have a YouTube channel

[JohnnySS]

false men change for the wrong reasons and women all the time.

but a man MIGHT change for his right woman, change is ineveitable anyways. if a person doesn't want to improve themselves in some way why are you with said person?

[Prof_Don]

I disagree. "change" is too strong of a word. Compromise, yes, a guy will do that for the right woman.

But change, as in augment the core of who he is? Don't be foolish; that won't happen!

[Anonymous]

In general, yes it's true. But what you said about him wanting to change is important. Try forcing him to change and chances are he'll tell her to fuck off.

[Cheeseburgers]

Sorry, Steve. That just isn't how habits work.

Steve likes to say things his woman audience can fawn over.

[Anonymous]

No. He has to want to change on his own. Forcing a guy to change will make thing worse for you and him.

[ADVISER-MAN]

True

[Tarvold]

Yeah, it's true.

[NerdInDenial]

Yes, it's so true.

[guitar94]

True :P