“Take care of yourself first.”
My mother has been telling me these words for as long as I can remember. Throughout all of my friendships and relationships in my life, she has been the one I turned to when I just needed someone to listen. I remember being in school and struggling in some of my friendships due to putting in more effort than others put into the friendship. I was always the one who seemed to care slightly more and therefore, I was always the one people seemed to only come to when they needed something. Like clockwork, my mothers’ advice to me was always, “take care of yourself first.”
I heard these words for so long but it wasn’t until much later that I actually began to understand them and fully realize how true it is that I should be taking care of myself first. You see, I have always been a “helper.” I have always been the person who wanted to do for others and be there when other people needed me. I have always been the one people turned to for advice or for help in some other way. I strive to help others whenever I can, not because I feel like I have to, but because I genuinely want to. The joy I get from making even a small impact in someone else’s life is immeasurable. I’ve never felt used or like anyone was taking advantage of me, I feel “needed” and that has always been okay with me.
But when does it become too much for a single person to handle? Having empathy and being there for other people all the time can take a toll on someone. I know this first-hand after working at an internship in which I was aiding abused children in overcoming their abuse and conquering their fears and setbacks that their abuse subsequently caused. I felt so needed, passionate, and happy for helping these children. At the same time however, it became emotionally draining as I realized the trauma and terrible situations some people are forced to face in their lives. I felt overwhelmed with emotions and at one point, I felt like it was affecting me too much to adequately do my job. I of course completed the internship and while I loved it and the work I had done, it really made me fully comprehend the words, “take care of yourself first.”
After this point, I realized that I needed to make a choice, to continue putting the needs of others before my own or to take some time for myself in order to re-gather my emotional strength and help myself. Being a little selfish isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it can be very necessary for our peace of mind and our mental wellness. Because of this, I choose to take time to myself every now and then. This not only yields a better mental health for myself, but it helps me do my work so much better as well. I have realized that I can still be there for others while also taking care of myself, and this is now an incredibly important aspect of my life. Moral of the story: it's a wonderful thing to help other people, but don't forget to take care of yourself too.
This I believe.
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