Have you ever felt like you had no worth? Like you weren't good enough no matter how hard you tried? Like everyone was better than you for some reason? Everyone seems to be happy and peaceful but you can't figure out why?
If yes, you've come to the right place.
The reason you feel like that is all in your head. The fact is that everyone struggles with being confident but the reason most people seem to hide it pretty well is that they are not very different from other people, which makes them feel like they are 'part of the group'. But for people who are a bit different from the ordinary, life is not so easy. Imagine yourself being constantly criticized and judged for the simple fact that you are different from others, for being yourself. After a while, you'll start to hide you own identity and you'll be afraid to act naturally around others because you think that acting naturally and being yourself is 'silly' or 'weird' and that you won't be accepted and validated by others when you act that way. That's basically how confidence is lost.
Let's see how it's built up. To build confidence you need two parts: mindset and action. Your mindset will help you believe in your own worth and stop undervaluing yourself, and actions that you take will back up that belief.
So, let's get into the steps:
1. Understand that you are not inferior to others
This is the main reason that's keeping you from becoming confident: You think you were born inferior to others, and that's the biggest mistake you could ever make. You see, when you believe something for long enough, your mind will see it as the undeniable truth, making it hard for you to see yourself as an equal to others, so whenever the idea of inferiority comes to your mind, reject it and recognize that it's just in your head. Over time, it will slowly fade away.
To do: Stop undervaluing yourself.
2. Commit yourself to master a new skill
Earlier we talked about the importance of the actions you take in being confident. Learning a useful skill and being excellent at it will help you a great deal, because when you pick up a new experience, you'll slowly break down the 'I can't mentality' and you'll start to realize that you can do stuff. It'll also help you to feel satisfied with yourself and gain a sense of self-worth when you achieve something.
To do: Learn a new skill / knowledge and be an expert at it.
3. Use body language to convey confidence
As you probably know already, body language is our nonverbal communication tool. When used correctly, it can be powerful to give the impression we want to other people but most importantly to ourselves, because the position of your body can change the way your mind feels. For example, standing straight with your hands on your hips will make you feel more confident while slouching will make you feel like you're worthless....etc.
Here are the main body language gestures that you can use to be more confident:
. Standing tall with hands on hips
. The hand steeple
. Hands behind the back
. 4 figure with your legs when sitting
To do: Use these body language gestures to trick your mind into believing you're confident
4. Don't allow any one to put you down
One of the biggest obstacles facing you is other people in your life. They will constantly try to put you down, tell you all sorts of stuff, but remember one thing: it's their opinion, not reality.
Caring too much what people think of you will only result in being really insecure. Instead, you want to stand up for yourself every time someone tries to put you down, and at the same time not care what people think of you. It'll be hard at first but don't stop trying; eventually, it will be a second nature.
To do: Defend yourself when people try to bring you down, but don't care too much about what they think.
5. Fake it, act like you're confident
I think this is the most useful tip of them all and I guess you've probably heard this one before, but it actually works. The trick is if you're not very confident at first, you just have to act like someone who's confident and sure of himself. When doing it for a couple of months, you'll start to notice that it will slowly become a part of you and eventually, you'll be fully confident in yourself.
To do: Fake it till you make it :)
That's the ultimate guide to be confident. Note that it takes time and effort on your part but in the end, it's worth it.
I'll be happy to see the feedback.
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