Take up a craft that requires close attention. Woodworking has worked for me, crochet has not. Crocheting allowed my mind to drift, especially if I was repeating the same stitch over and over; I once took a video of myself doing this, and noted points where I would slow down and frown as a bad memory came up - more detailed patterns are a little less prone to this. Woodworking design and construction are much better suited to keeping yourself from wallowing in thoughts, as design takes attention or it won't progress (design stuff for other people to keep projects coming in, and demand feedback as you iterate), and construction takes even more attention as mistakes are often irreversible or risk injury. I get really bummed if I don't have a project because I'm only working with a few people and they're taking long in their feedback. Besides that, visit or acquire dogs.
If you want to discuss this with your friends - choose one friend and speak with them alone and at length in a private setting. Sharing tea has worked for me as a way to initiate long conversations.
Recognize that you are not alone, and not the first to have had these problems.
Do not let depression overwhelm you. There is so much to live for and we ALL get depressed from time to time. Look, you are getting responses from people across the globe even though we haven't met you. We DO care about you and would want you to do well.
Listen to the advise from some of the people on this thread. You can turn things around by getting involved. Try to help someone else who is struggling along. It will give you a good feeling that you too are needed in this world.
You should find yourself and by that I mean go find out what you like get a makeover do what makes you happy because you matter, love yourself you deserve every bit of happiness even if you feel like you don't, you do and do you boo and if people don't like it they can kiss your rear end.
Take time to do for yourself. Exercise, diet and find a better you in the process. Spend time alone, watch TV and find you. Maybe you are depressed because you aren't happy with where your life is and what/who surrounds you. Make your own waves, and see how the ocean changes.
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Was there something that triggered this depression, or is it something that kind of slowly dawned?
I love England, by the way. My father was from Manchester. I've visited the country and it's beautiful, as are its people.
Message me and I will help you.
-Fox
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