Does anyone have any good advice on girls in general?

[doctorwhofan23]

I am a shy guy and I have never had a girl friend I just need help speaking to girls and knowing what to do pretty much.

[MrSuperMan]

ahhh the age old art.

well dude here's the thing. the most important part of flirting is signals, attitude, and calmness.

you show a girl your interest by getting their attention. don't do things that try to make you look cool. that's for cocky jerks.

do things to make her laugh or to make her want to try to top you.

unfortunately in today's society flirting has gone toward sarcasm and playful gentle teasing.

Here's a scenario step by step. this isn't the only way, mind you, and I could be totally wrong. but just give it a shot, k?

the first thing is to get their attention.

this is easy. just make like they are a person you think is cool and talk to them.

at a cafe: "hey know anything good to order?"

next step: location with a hook

next objective is to get them to sit with you.

at a cafe: "ha great thanks. hey you want to come and sit with me? I'll buy ya a (or I'll split a [enticing food item here] (with you) "

if they say "no thanks". lay off. they aren't interested.

if they say "sure ha thanks" then you are on your way.

the most difficult part after you get a girl with you is talking. you better be quick in your head for this one.

so you have your girl at the table. you are eating food drinking drink. now what?

talk! dang it. haha keep it simple and comprehensive. get her to talk about her.

pros: learn about her. she feels comfortable. you can listen and not have to talk.

cons: asking her to talk too much can ruin it.

"so what's your name?"

"oh ha my name is..."

"where ya from?"

"oh cool I'm right near there. I'm in..."

"man I love this place you come here a lot?"

simple easy conversation. keep it inside the cafe. what's inside? the music playing, her, you (not too much) people around.

make a joke, simple one. very occasionally.

then if all works out you will still be talking and you will both be finished with your food. (eat and drink slow. she won't go faster than you I'm sure.) but don't be ridiculously slow. girls are smart she may sense she's being kept there.

finally if she has to go make the final big move. ask for contact.

Facebook is the best. its non intrusive and very easy.

"so do you have Facebook? lets stay in touch"

and you are on ur way my friend. good luck. and do not worry if she's not into you. that will be one out of a million.

just keep trying.

adapt to situations.

think on your feet.

DO NOT LOOK AT OTHER GIRLS while you are with her. give her all of your focus. its just you her the food and nothing else. eye contact. important. don't look below her mouth. she'll think you are a pig and quickly end your little sesh.

GIRLS! if I am completely mistaken and idiotic tell me before we let this guy screw up a perfectly good moment. this is only how I see it. GIRLS tell me if I'm right. and feel free to criticize and to correct me.

[doctorwhofan23]

That seems kind of hard to do.

[MrSuperMan]

Give it a shot. there's nothing to lose.

[jt3432]

Well, doctorwhofan23, from one sci/fi fan to another, keep it in the closet. Many young girls are not into that kind of stuff and those that are are rare. So try and keep the fan-boy stuff to a minimum. Once you get a girl friend you can ease her into you sci/fi addiction.

Now that that is out of the way here is the bad news, there is no silver bullet or magic phrase that can turn you into a Casanova instantly. Good news is that you are not doomed to a life of solitude. You are just going to have to work hard at dealing with your shyness. Girls, and people in general, like confident people so you need to develop your own self confidence. Odds are that you are shy because you are afraid of some sort of rejection and that is normal. I have know some really slick pick up artist and none of them liked to be rejected, they just did not take it personally (I know, easier said than done). I am not all that great with the ladies myself, but when I am on my game it is because I feel good about myself. You have to have your inner game together. If you think that you are no good and no girl would want to date you then you are right, no one will. Have faith in yourself and remember you have value, be positive (sound kind of silly, but it is true and it works)

Start small, try just saying hi to girls you see (take it easy, do not get carried away). Then, after you are comfortable with that, then ask them there name. Now, do not be creepy, do not start going up to random girls and asking them their names, make it institutionally appropriate, ask the check out girl that is helping you her name. The point to this is to become more comfortable with socializing with the opposite sex and to not see them as a girl you want to ask out (that is a lot of pressure) but as just another person that you are having a simple conversation with(no pressure). Just learn how to have a casual conversation with someone and the rest will follow. Good luck.

[Reeses-pieces777]

pick something you and her like, maybe compliment her looks I suppose and be sincere about it

i used to have trouble talking to guys but now I'm fine talking to everyone-it takes time abd putting yourself where you can interact mor e with peopl emight help you with confidence. good luck ^_^

[stevo]

It may seem hard to do, but trust me, it really isn't. Try to talk to them and assume that you've known them for a long-time, but just pretend. Relax, and focus on something positive, rather than what you think might happen. Be positive. Smile, laugh, joke, and play. Pretend that you have confidence and aren't shy, even if you are. Try to find yourself a group of friends that you can hang out with, in order to build confidence, or find something that you like to do that will GIVE you confidence. It isn't as hard as you think, so give yourself some credit. Scary, yes, hard, no. I say go for it. Step up!