What the hell is wrong with me?

[JamesMcJohnson]

I just don't understand what's wrong with me. I honestly can not take into the belief that a female could ever be interested In someone like me... granted I'm aware of the attraction, I just don't get it. I have this perpetual fear[with females] that once I actually talk to them, they'll lose complete interest because it's a guy like me. I suffer from Asperger syndrome, I've always had problems with the idea with body language, how to react in situations, so and so forth. Over the years I've gotten better recognizing body language and levels of interest, but I still struggle with the mental aspect of having this condition. "This girl is showing interest in me. The fuck is wrong with her? Why would she want someone like me? I can't give her what she wants.", something I'd immediately say if a girl is showing very strong interest in me. I've become so bitter towards certain women as a result of this. Instead of finding a way to reciprocate and show interest back, I'll just be a flat out dick. Ranging anything from angry eyes to straight being cold as a stone in the winter. It's bullshit that I personally feel this way. But what can I do? I guess I don't love myself enough... I'm not trying to be make this a pity party, I just don't know what to fucking do! I could have a random girl smile at me and come and approach me and I'll just be cold... it's just like... I don't know. I just really need some help on some ways I can increase my self esteem and possibly get around to meeting new women... and of course, not be such a dick! Anybody willing to show me the ways?

[LastGirlScout]

It takes all sorts of people to make the world go round, many people aren't good at dealing with those who have difficulty in social situations but there are sooo many people who are able to look past stuff like this and like a person for who they are.

Are you a bad person? Are you really angry or just feel that occasionally? I'm sure you're a nice person and these girls are seeing that. Don't underestimate their ability to look past your issues, they must be real genuine and sincere people to do that- worth making the effort with I'd say.

[KaySee]

If you think its a psychological thing then maybe see a shrink or doctor. Maybe there is a chemical sort of imbalance. Otherwise though people react differently when approached by potential romantic partners. I guess you just have to go against your thoughts, tell yourself otherwise. If you ask why she would be into you, flip it and think why wouldn't she be! She has every right to give you a shot right. Just try and get into the mind set that you are totally worth attention (just dont let it fill your mind too much that you become egocentric)

[JamesMcJohnson]

I'm shy and have social anxiety disorder as well. I have a psychologist and the stuff he says, well, doesn't always help. He's just been there to help with me interpreting body language and certain social cues, but dating and relationships... well, not his forte. Haha

[KaySee]

Haha thats not surprising. Well you seem fine on here but thats over the computer. I would just suggest that maybe you make it known you're not good with relationships. I could see the girl being a little put off if you're, unintentionally, being cold so maybe just use your words more. Just say listen, im not really good at this but i am interested in spending time with you and i want to get to know you better. That way she knows upfront that you are into her, and when you have an moment where that isn't shown then she will be knowledgeable and more understanding of the circumstances

[JamesMcJohnson]

That sounds fine and dandy, by all means; I'm just personally afraid of the TIMING of it. Like don't you think there's a huge possibility of that accidentally coming across creepy?

[KaySee]

Yeah no doubt. You dont really want to open with that because its like whoa where did this guy plan on taking this. I think my advice would be to do your best but when you feel things going south just make sure that you take a breath and open up. If you feel yourself getting frosty just remember to open up and let what you really want her to see shine through. I guess its more of a mind set you have to get into than a physical think you can do

[_IMAGIRLSOYEAH_]

If she is willing to put up with you and how cold you are then she is the "ONE". The guy i like likes me back and im just like WTF? there are like so many better girls who are "normal" (because trust me im crazy weird! :P) and im not even pretty sooo im crazy and really random sometimes... CHOCOLATE! sorry bout that... hehehe lolz let me get to the point he puts up with me oh and did i mention he's just like me? yup! he is crazy and weird and random! :P

[scarlettloba]

You will find your match, your yin to your yang. Keep getting out there to meet people and it will happen. Have you ever thought of joining online groups where you might meet someone like yourself?

[JamesMcJohnson]

Don't like the idea of online dating.