I've never felt anything but depressed. I cry almost every night of my life. I remember doing this since I was 9 years old. I had one parent growing up and she was always depressed/angry. All she did was yell and make me feel bad about myself. I got bullied at school and by my sibling. I got called ugly a lot. My family was poor. I had no friends except a couple in high school who treated me horribly.
I'm 20 now and I feel like it's time to end it. I'm sad every day. I have no friends and no contact with any family except my mom who never said she loved me and doesn't show affection. I can't talk to her about anything. I have horrible body image. I can't look in the mirror and won't let people take pictures of me. I can't look at pictures of myself without wanting to die. I just want to be like everybody else. I want to be normal, but I'm not. Normal people aren't sad every day. They have friends and a family and do fun things. They have self esteem and are able to talk freely and they laugh and smile. I feel like a little kid compared to other people and I always feel inferior and like I'm left out.
I used to find reasons to keep living. Like if I were dead, I couldn't watch my favorite tv shows or eat my favorite foods. I would think about how my future could be better. But then something bad happened recently and my mindset changed. I started having feelings for somebody and I realized that I'll never be able to be with him. I will never be able to be in a relationship because I'm not a normal person. I'm just depression that's it. He's better than me.. I try to have friends, but i have social anxiety and i'm depressed and have no self esteem. I hardly talk at all and I want to die. I don't care about tv anymore. I don't feel like doing anything except sleeping. I go to school and work and can hardly keep myself together at those times. I thought about telling one of my older coworkers cause i trust her but I don't know im not seeking attention I need help
I'm 20 now and I feel like it's time to end it. I'm sad every day. I have no friends and no contact with any family except my mom who never said she loved me and doesn't show affection. I can't talk to her about anything. I have horrible body image. I can't look in the mirror and won't let people take pictures of me. I can't look at pictures of myself without wanting to die. I just want to be like everybody else. I want to be normal, but I'm not. Normal people aren't sad every day. They have friends and a family and do fun things. They have self esteem and are able to talk freely and they laugh and smile. I feel like a little kid compared to other people and I always feel inferior and like I'm left out.
I used to find reasons to keep living. Like if I were dead, I couldn't watch my favorite tv shows or eat my favorite foods. I would think about how my future could be better. But then something bad happened recently and my mindset changed. I started having feelings for somebody and I realized that I'll never be able to be with him. I will never be able to be in a relationship because I'm not a normal person. I'm just depression that's it. He's better than me.. I try to have friends, but i have social anxiety and i'm depressed and have no self esteem. I hardly talk at all and I want to die. I don't care about tv anymore. I don't feel like doing anything except sleeping. I go to school and work and can hardly keep myself together at those times. I thought about telling one of my older coworkers cause i trust her but I don't know im not seeking attention I need help
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