Would it put you off someone if they had a history of heart problems?

[Anonymous]

I was born with a bad heart. At the age of 3 I had to have open heart surgery. Which was successful. I had a normal childhood and played a lot of football (soccer if you are American) and never had any problems with my fitness. Aged 15 I had to have keyhole surgery to replace a heart valve. This didn't go to plan and as a result I had to have open heart surgery a year later. This was successful.

I am now 31 and have had no problems for the last 15 years. I do go to the hospital once a year to have a check up to make sure everything is ok. Obviously I have a big scar down my chest as a result of the surgeries.

My previous girlfriends have never had a problem with it. However I was dating this girl recently who suddenly stopped returning my calls with no explanation. I was told later by one of her friends, that she was put off when she found out about my history of heart problems. Apparently she was worried I was going to have a heart attack or something. This really upset me because I have never had this used against me before. I am now worried other people may be put off when they find out.

Would it put you off dating someone if they had a history of health problems?

Yes, it would put me off them.

No, It wouldn't bother me at all.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say it woudnt bother me 'at all'. Of course, it would bother me, if I was with you, I would probably love you, and -obviously- would worry a lot.

But I'd never leave JUST because you have a heart problem, and if you say you play sports and stuff so you can still do stuff that raises blood pressure it wouldn't be a problem at all.

And also, to some extent, having a problem with your heart would prevent you from having other diseases e. g diabetes because to look after your heart you'd exercise and eat healthily, which will benefit your overall wellbeing in the long-term.

So, would it put me off dating you? Not in the slightest. Would it worry me? Naturally, of course it would.

And one more thing, going through all that probably made you more mature and stronger and made you appreciate life more, as it caused stress, pressure and suffering. And as long as you dont break but deal with it all you become stronger, so Im willing to bet that psychologically you are a very hardy person and can handle stress!

Maybe she was just squeamish?

[Poppykate]

Love is a funny thing! It expands the heart and allows us to accomplish things that we once thought were unimaginable or unachieveable. I think that if my true love had a heart problem or any health problem. It wouldn't stop me from loving him at all. I might be a little frighten as I might hurt him, but after I got used to it, it would be fine. Than I would give him some lovin' that would make him throw his arms in the air and thank whatever God he follow that he was alive.

[aniemist]

If the person actually loves you it shouldn't matter, but peoples hearts in the figurative sense are affected by many things. I can see myself being very scared and insecure about something like a heart problem, not having been in a situation where the person I love has this problem I couldn't say, but I would hope to conquer this fear. There are those who are shallow and will leave you at the first sign of any kind of trouble or commitment, which to me sounds like the girl you were talking about, not knowing them it is hard to say.

These are but a few of the possibilities, in my eyes if someone loves you it shouldn't matter, it isn't a one way street. Just make sure girls in the future realize about your problems so you know you can count on them just as they would want to be able to count on you.

[DeltaDanner]

It would never put me off because... Well... I have a heart problem :)
I have had three heart surgeries and my first was when I was born. My second when I was three. My last was a few years ago. Surgeries are a part of life, and these kinds are what saves a life. If a girl was put off by something you can't change and that doesn't effect you very much, then she was not meant for you... Or anyone else for that matter. Don't worry about your scars bro, in fact, embrace them. Be proud you're in the zipper club. Scars show how strong you are. How resilient you can be. They tell a story, and they are what makes you you. Anyone who doesn't like you for that doesn't deserve your company.

[Jennalee16]

Absolutely not! However, it really does depend on the type of girl you are into. Some girls are into being taken care of and being babied, some girls are into taking care of their man and some girls like both. Personally, it wouldn't make a difference to me, considering that the guy I like has one normal hand and one deformed hand that isn't really functional. However, I would love to be with him regardless. I think you can definitely find women that it wouldn't bother them, you just have to find the right girl. Hope this helps :)

[jesi723]

I care a lot about and worry a lot about the health of everyone in my life as many people do, because we don't want and even fear losing loved ones or just seeing them suffer in any way. I have avoided men with health problems, but then also realized that I wouldn't have ended up with any of those guys even if they were in tip-top shape. When it is that love-at-first-sight and all crazy for each other sort of pairing, we don't even see what we would consider major red flags in others. What I am trying to convey is that you don't want just anyone; you want that trailblazing love, and that partner won't be turned off. Instead, they will respect you and support you, and maybe even worry about you or take extra care of you, even if you don't like that. Don't take offense or worry if your situation scares any girls off; just means you got your answer sooner than later - wouldn't have worked regardless.

[Christine1975]

Someone can have a perfectly good heart but there's always a chance they could cross the street and get hit by a bus. Does that mean that person is undateable and should be avoided? The point is, sometimes shitty things/circumstances happen to good people but that doesn't mean you stop living and take chances. Maybe that girl was just an asshole or had issues... who cares. Find a girl who is worthy of you. You take care of you and you'll be fine.

[udolipixie]

Would it put you off someone if they had a history of heart problem?
A. Yes, it would put me off them.

I have no interest in being looked upon as a possible/potential caretaker. The guy most likely wouldn't even consider me if he didn't find me attractive so just as he accepted/rejected me based on my body I'll do the same.

[Prettygurl12]

I have a health history as well. I can't very well judge a guy who has a health history as well, now can I?

I had a stroke when I was 11 days old. Because of this I have health complications that need to be monitored - but nothing that interrupts my day-to-day activities.

So no, no issues with that.

[code3]

I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't bother me, but it wouldn't bother me enough to keep me away if I liked someone. When I found out my boyfriend had heart problems I was a little terrified. I worried for his health and I worried for my sake as well; what if I loved him fully only to lose him someday? But leaving him for that reason would be unfair, and leaving him didn't even cross my mind as an option.

[Findingmyway]

Some will, some won't.. Sadly our health history can effect those interested in us. I have a very complex medical history and have wondered if guys would run after knowing but to my surprise I am learning most wouldn't. But I know thats not true for all. So just accept that some will and some will not.. Let go of those who weren't able to get passed it.

[LuvMyHubby]

Some people have odd hang ups. If she gets upset over things like that, then it is a reflection of how she handles stressors- she doesn't want any. That is not a good long term trait for a partner. Or possibly she has lost family members who had heart problrms. Be glad you found out sooner than later. No, most women would not be put off by that.

[hroberts782]

Of course not! I had a boyfriend recently that had a very bad lung disease. He was really embarrassed by it, and I actually found out from someone else, but it never bothered me. I would have appreciated it if he had been a little more honest and told me about it himself (actually, he lied about everything, not just that), but I really didn't care. Maybe cause I'm used to stuff like that (major family history of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, etc.) but I never thought any different of him because he had medical issues.

[NovaLS]

I would definitely worry but it would not be off putting. My uncle was born with six toes and six fingers on each hand and foot and has had to have three heart surgeries in his life. He likes to do MOAB off-roading and used to do amateur bull riding for fun. He is married, successful, 42 years old and has 4 kids :) so I wouldn't stress it.

[abundantlyrich]

Do the kids all have six toes and fingers?

[NovaLS]

No they dont :) and he had his toes removed very young (hard to wear shoes) and the fingers removed later. He was adopted by my grandparents.

[abundantlyrich]

I think its cool to have 6 rather 5.

[DivaOniiSan]

Personally I had appendicitis at 6, and have asthma, arthritis, acid reflux, life threatening allergies, chronic migraines, fibromyalgia, get throat and respiratory infections extremely easily and have multiple food intolerances.

So it'd be hypocritical for me to say yes to being put off by someone with a history of health problems. as long as everything is fine now there's no cause for worry. Sounds like this girl is just ignorant.

[Springfairy]

No, because I myself had open heart surgery when I was 12. I am very self-concious about it, and I try to avoid becoming close with anyone because I don't want them to make fun of me or reject me because I had surgery. Its not my fault that my mother smoked when she was pregnant and caused issues with my heart. Its unfair for people to judge by that.

[blondfrog]

She was just ignorant, shallow, or didn't find you physically attractive enough and used that as an excuse to leave you. Like you said you haven't had any problems for the past 15 years considering my mom still has heart problems yes I would date someone with heart problems.

[NExPats12]

If they did have a problem with it, that's very selfish of themselves and they should be a shamed of it.

[gotnothing2do]

There's always going to be people like that always. But not a lot like u said ur previous girlfriends didn't mind so u'll find another girl that won't mind

[ButtHoleSandwich]

Depends on if it is hereditary or not. If there is a possibility of my child having it I wouldn't date just out of fear

[Longjacketanx]

I had the same thing as you my friend only I never needed any surgery after that. I can't say I'm completely put off from a girl who has a health history, unless it was very bad.

[ironeddie]

No it would not bother me. It's known about and can be cared for, as you are doing.

My last girlfriend had a heart condition. Unfortunately it had not been discovered.

[Roventane]

No, i believe that if you have a problem physically or mentally then it only makes you more precious to the person you are with and that every moment matters so much more.

[Anonymous]

I voted, B...
I was born 2 months pre-mature and with a "bad" heart... My heart was only supposed to last untill my 20th birthday. I'm almost 30 and still doing "OK" :/
Heart issues would not turn me away at all.. as I'm on borrowed time myself:/