Am I expecting too much freedom for a 17-year-old?

[Anonymous]

Once I get my license and my car, I believe that I should be allowed to drive wherever I want as long (parties, friend's houses, girl's houses, dates) as I abide to curfews 9 PM on weeknights, 11 PM on weekend nights, and simply inform where I am going, unless I specify that I am sleeping over one night. Whether or not they are home. Also, nothing illegal.

Also, with regard to opposite sex visitors, I should be allowed to have them over, but if they want to sleep over, I wouldn't mind if they had to use separate beds.

Am I asking for too much freedom at my age?

[Esplorare]

Yes. You are living under someone else's roof. Someone else's food and income will be supplying your "freedom requests." Therefore, you don't set rules. You don't decide what rules you follow: that is the parent's duty. Sure, you can make suggestions or requests, but the tone in your post sounds slightly entitled to be honest.

My 17 year old adolescent will not be having members of the opposite sex spend the night in my house. I don't give a f*ck how much freedom he expects or thinks he deserves. Especially considering how easy a lot of young girls are and how little to zero self-discipline teenage boys have when it comes to their d*cks. You ALWAYS need permission to invite someone over to your parent's home ALWAYS no matter how old you get. It's a RESPECT thing; being courtesy of their privacy and their wishes.

[Asker]

www.washingtontimes.com/.../?page=all

You should read this.

I personally will allow my kids to have sex in my home and be as promiscuous as they want while they are at it. I am very liberal and open-minded about this thing, and very much agree with the Dutch.

I see nothing wrong with promiscuity, as long as protection is used and people are safe and integrous about it.

You can reduce the risk of pregnancy to 0.000116 to 0.000600 percent per round of vaginal intercourse with condoms and birth control pill.

[Asker]

I am tired of this Christian and social conservatism and prudently nonsense: "OMG no sex before marriage" OR "Sex is evil"

[Esplorare]

@Asker Lol well while you'd like to sit around and decide what you would allow your kids to do as a kid, the reality is YOU ARE AN ADOLESCENT LIVING UNDER SOMEONE ELSE'S ROOF. You have no high school diploma. You have no college degree. You have no roof of your own. So right now, your slutty, reckless, careless little hopes for your future spawn really don't mean shit.

By the way, not everyone who agrees with whoring yourself out and greedily seeking a hole to satisfy your d*ck is Christian or Conservative. It actually is possible to attach morals and self-respect to sex without thinking "Sex is evil". Think outside of your own skull: Your age is showing.

[Asker]

No, I don't really care if my parents allow opposite sex sleepovers or not. I know they won't.

I am just stating my own opinions. I don't think there is anything wrong with casual sex, for guys OR girls.

[Esplorare]

Alrighty well you may think like that but not everyone who doesn't agree with promiscuous sex where people are willingly used and put their sexual gratification above decency is a Christian, conservative, or believes sex is evil. Grow up. Don't try to present yourself like a man then backtrack and act like a boy.

[Asker]

By the way, the Europeans in general agree with me. I admire the Europeans in general.

[Asker]

You're funny.

[Esplorare]

@Asker I'm not getting paid to babysit plus I generally don't interact with children like yourself for the reasons shown in your piss poor communication skills. Goodbye

[jacquesvol]

That Washington Times article is very right about it. The most religious/prude states and countries have the most teen pregnancieswww.google.com/.../5728-teen-birth-rates-higher-highly-religious-states.html&ved=0CBkQFjAAahUKEwiQ2-rbuvbHAhWDtBQKHaKJC48&usg=AFQjCNFGisL3yAkmAXg_K1mNe4tg_MJejw&sig2=oc4h4QhwXIfQdIJ7pxrTfA

[jacquesvol]

In Belgium, the evening before our marriage Islept in the house of my atheist parents in law. At 10 or 11pm my wife to be decided it was bedtime for her. I followed her but was stopped by my father in law: "Anywhere but not in my house!" I had to sleep in the guestroom.
We were both 25 then and had already lived together (dating since we were 20)

[Esplorare]

@jacquesvol It's ignorant and small minded on your part to assume that any parent who is not comfortable with their horny teenager having sleepovers with the opposite sex and increasing the odds that an unexpected pregnancy will fuck up their future must be a prude or religious.
Don't go making assumptions about how I think with examples that are not even nearly the same. You being a grown ass 25 year old and spending the night with a 20 year old is nothing like a dependent 17 year old trying to invite teenage girls to sleep over under his parent's roof. Are you talking just to be talking?

You can't seriously expect her father to be cool with you fucking his daughter down the hall from him under his roof?

[jacquesvol]

@Esplorare The whole 'abstinence only' stuff has proven to be a failure. Take a look at these articles:

The New Geography of Teen Mothers: www.citylab.com/.../
US Teen Birthrates Are Down, But Still High in These States : www.citylab.com/.../
Teen Birth Rates Higher in Highly Religious States : www.livescience.com/...ighly-religious-states.html

There's nothing wrong with premarital sex, as long as protection is used. Parents holding on to "no opposite sex persons in my kids' room" have given their children poor sex ed and they *know* that they've failed.

[jacquesvol]

@Esplorare
I nearly forgot to thank you for that ad hominem
[Sarcasm=off]

[Esplorare]

@jacquesvol *without reading due to zero interest* What's your point in yapping away and running your mouth non-stop on my post? Especially considering you don't even have an answer of your own?

[Esplorare]

@jacquesvol Are you trying to show off what you think you know or are you too egotistical to humbly accept when someone confidently, boldly does not agree with you so you feel the need to sit around online and arrogantly try to get them to compromise or alter their perspective?

[jacquesvol]

@Esplorare "Don't go making assumptions about how I think with examples that are not even nearly the same. You being a grown ass 25 year old and spending the night with a 20 year old". You misunderstood it. We were both 25 then. Both fully adult thus, due to marry the next day at 11:00am.

[Esplorare]

@jacquesvol It doesn't matter how old you are. If you are under someone else's roof then you should respect and honor their wishes despite how horny you are or how much you want to please your genital.

[jacquesvol]

@Esplorare
Would you forbid two consenting 25 yo adults to share a room? :-o

[Esplorare]

@jacquesvol What is with your obsession with my view on this?

[jacquesvol]

@Esplorare
You attacked me personnally more than once, thus l stay in the thread, ready to answer your next ad hominem.
by the way, sex is NOT evil.

[Esplorare]

@jacquesvol To be honest, I’ve been too busy out in the world living my life to even mildly remember what you’re talking about when you say I “attacked you personally more than once”. No offense, but it’s really not that deep to me and you kinda sorta really sound like you’re overestimating the importance of what you have to say to me as a stranger who’s not even legitimately in my galaxy, let alone my orbit.

I never said sex was evil. You inviting yourself to my post, trying to capture my focus and attention repeatedly , then saying you are ”ready to answer my next ad hominem” sounds like you are basically just fishing for an argument.

[jacquesvol]

I did NOT attack you, @Esplorare.

[jacquesvol]

by the way, look higher, it isn't your question. The Askrr is anon.

[Esplorare]

@jacquesvol…okay? To be honest, I’m really unsure why you’re still talking on my post? It may be the Asker’s question where he requested your view but this is my individual post/answer where I did not request your view. So I’m not sure as to why you keep inviting yourself to my post and trying to get me to focus on your view/trying to get me to invest extra time, energy and focus into a question that was asked months ago as well as making random comments like “Sex is NOT evil”? I never said sex was evil.

You seem to be fishing for an argument and it’s really lame/an unproductive waste of my time.

[jacquesvol]

Don't count on me for the fight you seem to be looking for.

[Esplorare]

@jacquesvol Lol how am I the one looking for a fight when you are the one who invited yourself to my space trying to push your viewpoint onto me? I’ve been living my life, moving on from this post, and minding my own business while you leave pushy posts on my answer for me.

[Esplorare]

It’s really very simple: When you are visiting someone and staying under their roof, you respect their choices. If her father didn’t want you possibly screwing his daughter under his roof down the hall, then as a guest in his home, you should respect and honor his wishes. Even if you think it’s ridiculous or silly, when you’re a visitor in someone else’s home it’s courteous to not make them uncomfortable.

I don't know why it seems so hard for you to accept that?

[jacquesvol]

Live your life,
Success!

[Esplorare]

@jacquesvol You too!

[Anonymous]

Depends on your parents. I don't think it could hurt to bring it up at least, and maybe find a compromise if that's too lenient for them. They'll at least know what you would like, so they can make a reasonable sort of "counter offer."

But I mean, my dad kind of let me do whatever once I was 16, since he considered me old enough to make decisions and live with the consequences. So this is coming from someone whose only real rules were not to burn the house down, do drugs, or flunk out of school. So yeah, the amount of freedom you're asking for sounds pretty reasonable to me, haha.

[MosaicMind]

You can ask to have more freedom but don't expect your parents to let you run wild. Until you move out they have control over what you do. You're 17, but that doesn't mean anything. Sure, your parents can't force you to eat your veggies or make you sleep at 9:00, but regarding your curfew hours and inviting girls over, that's up to them.

[BumbleSuperBee]

No, that's actually great considering ur age.. most guys would be like "when I get ma own car imma drive it wherever I want whenever I want without tellin ma parents and spend the night wherever and with whoever I want and return whenever I feel like it cuz I'm all about the thuglife bitch"

[BumbleSuperBee]

But u still have to discuss it with ur parents and try not to be stubborn or an ass about it if then don't agree :D

[KDA20]

I agree with do what you want till curfew and in the case of opposite gender sleepovers separate beds and nothing beyond a bit of light making out - If you break those rules you get treated like a 5 year old.

[jacquesvol]

As a parent I'd be scared about the driving after a party. That's often DIU.
And the "sleeping over one night" I'd want you to have condoms.

[Asker]

Yeah, I am choosing not to drink or do drugs, and if only my parents talked to me about sex and weren't so prude.

A couple months ago, I snuck out after school and bought some condoms, because you never know.

[hannahmarsx]

Noo haha. I'm 16 and I don't 'have a curfew' if I'm out I just tell my mum. Especially at parties till 1am, some people I know my age go to clubs! I'm driving in a couple of months too, and I'd probably be allowed anywhere just by informing my parents. Not much of a big deal

[Prettygurl12]

Lol my parents would laugh if I made those demands.

[Asker]

Too lenient? What were your rules?

[Prettygurl12]

If I ever asked for an opposite sex sleepover at your age I'd be laughed into next week.

My parents were good. I got a truck when I was 16, had to be home by 10 every night, and had to tell them everywhere I was going.

[Asker]

Oh, well if that's the only thing, not such a big deal. You can fuck in the car, their house, etc.

[Prettygurl12]

... excuse you.

[RationalLioness]

I don't think so because I felt the same way at that age, yet it's your parents' house and it's their rules.

I doubt that you'll get most if any of them.

[In-sight-ful]

My boyfriend pretty much had those same kind of rules at your age but my parents would have laughed in my face if I had even suggested it. It completely depends on your parents.

[PrincessJennyfer]

yes your not paying bills you dont pay rent you have to behave

[Asker]

What aspects do you think are too lenient?

[PrincessJennyfer]

for one wanting to go to a girls house im not a father or a 17 year old male but i do know this its fucking obvious unless your gay that your prob gonna have sex

[PrincessJennyfer]

if you pay rent or help pay bills your parents prob won't care because your pulling your weight but if your not then dont act like your being abused

[Asker]

And there's nothing wrong with that. I would use proper contraceptives.

[Asker]

My parents actually don't care about me going over girl's houses, but inviting them over.

[PrincessJennyfer]

dont invite a girl over to fuck. that should be at least something you should know.

[Esplorare]

Exactly. Someone else's hard work is putting food in his mouth, clothes on his back, and a roof over his head so his entitled little attitude is silly.

[Asker]

@Esplorare

I actually don't have an issue with the whole opposite sex sleepover thing with my parents much. As I said, I was just sharing my opinion on the matter because you were getting all prudish and talking about "self-control" and shit which I disagree with. I think it's okay to enjoy having all the sex you want as long as you are safe and integrous about it, both for guys and girls.

[Esplorare]

@Asker You sound like the typical adolescent child who calls names and gets whiny when people disagree with him. You can stop trying to impose your little opinion on me now. It's not like it actually makes a difference.

[Asker]

In other words, I was not talking about my personal freedom with my parents anymore, but just disagreeing with your raw opinion on promiscuity and teen sexuality.

[Esplorare]

@Asker It's clear to everyone how ridiculously self-important you are, but you can stop pretending that "disagreeing with my raw opinion" means anything. Not everyone cares that much about your thoughts and feelings so you really should stop over exaggerating how much they mean to others.

[Asker]

@Esplorare

No I don't care about the others. I just said that to clarify that I am not whining about my parent's rulings.

Jesus, calm down.

[rthomas43]

"Am I asking for too much freedom at my age?"

What do your parents think?

[Asker]

Very much so. But I don't trust them anymore with my life.

[Stacyzee]

Sounds like you need to move out so you can set your own rules and regulations.

[laurasolovely]

from a young perspective no, from an adult perspective yes

[Prof_Don]

That's not gonna happen... your parents are still legally liable for what you do.

[fashionguy17]

The car thing seems like a fair deal. The girl thing... that wouldn't fly with most parents. Better wait till you move out or get a hotel room XD.

[Anonymous]

car at 17? i thought u should be at least 18 in order 2 drive... no?

[Asker]

Not in the United States.

[Stacyzee]

15 in the u. s

[muspelhem_5]

You sound responsible, so no :)

[evenlift]

I think your expectations are OK.