How to deal with my depression?

[Anonymous]

So recently I've been depressed because of my social isolation.

First of all I couldn't fail more with women. I like women so much but at the same time I wish I didn't. They demand so much time and effort. They never bother in putting in any effort for a guy like me. I'm driving all the conversation, asking all the questions, doing all the initiating, doing all the escalating, asking them oit on all the dates, etc. Women aren't asking me questions about myself; to get them to talk we can only talk about them, and even then I'm still doing all the hard work to keep a conversation from becoming awkward by asking engaging questions and inserting quips to prevent interview mode.

i go out on dates just to be rejected or told that they're now dating someone else. I have such low standards too and I am always a great gentleman. I might as well just pay for an escort so at least I dont get rejected right after paying the bill. Or afterwarD's they only want to be friends , then why did you agree to the date and let me pay for it? Women as friends then never text first, they never ask me to hangout, etc. Sorry but so many of them make shit friends and it's clear they were saying lets be friends to be nice or some shit. I've been rejected by thousands of girls and I only go for 3s or 4s. I must be that ugly or have that bad a personality or both. clearly I'm worthless and undateable

I'm also alienating all of my guy friends. They used to want to hangout but now they never ask me to chill and never invite me anywhere. They're not my friends anymore essentially.
I'm no longer funny anymore too, my jokes all suck. Since my social life has gone into the shitter I've been increasingly reliant on drugs. I dont even have any family to talk to. Psychologists tell me to get over it, so fuck them. Anti depressants make me want to kill myself and I've come dangerously close.
I feel incredibly weak all the time so I can't even work out
I'm pathetic

Updates

+1 y

There isn't much in this life besides drugs. Drugs don't leave you or reject you. You pay for drugs and get an enjoyable experience every time. Drugs don't care what you look like or your personality and drugs dont make you work incredibly hard to get them

Updates

+1 y

I don't know why I wrote this, noone can help me. Not even crying on this forum will make me feel better. Might be time to end it at some point if nothing turns around. Then life won't be worth living

[Anonymous]

Learn to love yourself first. Read articles and books on self-help and self-love. The first step has to start with you. We are all worth it and when you love yourself people will notice and want you around

[Asker]

I can't lie to myself. Loving something which isn't worth loving isn't something I can do. We aren't all worth it unfortunately. Some people make great contributions to the world through medicine and science, while others are drug abusing hobos on the street who free ride on the tit of society. So some people are completely worthless and better of dead--their lives suck and they make everyone else's lives worse. And there is essentially an infinite number of shades of gray between worthwhile and not worthwhile. Unfortunately i see reality for what it is--not just blindly categorizing everyone as valuable and useful human beings. They simply aren't by any practical metric. Also loving yourself is not necesserily good advice. Narcissists love themselves the most out of anyone, and guess what? They have a psychlogical disorder. Theyre annoying as heck. Loving yourself that much is arrogance. I simply cannot love the number of shitty things about my personality for instance.

[Opinion Owner]

And then again have you seen an unhappy, depressed narcissist? Maybe if you can volunteer for a cause you can see that you can make a difference in people's lives, even if it is just reading to the elderly. Sometimes when we see that we are helping people it makes us feel worthwhile. .

[523206720]

Give your life to God and start doing volunteer work at a homeless shelter or humanitarian organization. This will lift your mood.

[Asker]

Which God? Zeus, or thor, or apollo, or baal?

[Anonymous]

see a professional.

[Asker]

They're all worthless I've been to many. Talking about my feelings with them is worthless plus I already mentioned I did that. Are you a bot that just responds with the default cliche without analyzing the details?