Please help me, do I have depression?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl. I know this is a lot to read, but please read it because I need help.

For quite a while I have been wondering wether I have depression or not. Every once in a while I have a breakdown. It usually takes some time before I have it. I feel like the time between every breakdown (which I spend as a somewhat happy person), I stay strong and build up to have this huge breakdown, instead of having many small ones. And when I finally get a breakdown, I can get really down. I spend time feeling very ugly, shy, fat, and I feel like I'm going nowhere in my life. I feel like all my friends are perfect and have perfect social lives (of course I know they have issues too, but I feel like they can't compare to me). I'm just too shy, and I'm sure no guys like me either, because I'm too fat or too ugly, who knows. Usually, after a breakdown I get very "depressed". I can go days without really talking to my family, and they will ask me questions about what's wrong and I will say 'nothing'. I just feel like nothing. I cry, and if I feel really bad I can end up cutting myself to feel better. I also feel like I have to workout and that over the summer I'm going to be thinner/lose weight. But it is hard to keep the motivaton going. I don't see any change, and then I will end up being sad about it. I eat food to feel better, and that does not help at all. After several days I recover from all this, and the "cycle" goes on and on.

Why do I feel like this, and why does it happen? Do I have any kind of depression? What can I do to change this?

[Anonymous]

Yup, I'm no pro, but it sounds like you have depression to me. Get some help from a pro because it is legendarily hard to fight on your own. About the guy thing, it probably has nothing to do with being "fat" or "ugly". For example, not many girls talk to me. Big reason is because I don't really approach any that often. Start approaching guys you like. See what happens. At the very least, you'll probably make a friend. I find that though I get approached by fewer girls than my friends, it seems, the ones who do, I tend to hit it off with. I think I'd rather have a few people approach me that I really like than a bunch who are mixed bag. But first thing, get help. Second thing, don't cut yourself. It makes me squimish. Only kidding. Whenever you feel the urge to cut yourself, try to change it by doing pushups or something until it goes away. Exercise is proven to relieve stress and depression and you'll feel more healthy and thus better about yourself, which should give you more confidence about approaching guys. Confidence is very attractive. Still, it's no substitute for professional help. See a psychologist first thing you do.

[Asker]

Thanks for your opinion, it makes me feel better. How old are you, btw?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm glad I could help a little! But remember, there is no substitute for pro help. Some of the people who seem strongest to you actually have depression and think that they are too tough to swallow their pride and get help. I've heard about it a lot with cops. The job weighs in them and the pressure to seem tough keeps them from getting help (which is usually available to them through the department for free). No one has any idea they are struggling until they kill themselves. It's a tragic situation, the lesson being that no one is strong enough to fight it by themselves. Not sure why my age matters, but I'm 17.

[far2gud4u]

Please dont feel I am talking down to you because I know right now you feel awful...

You are 16 and your hormones are imbalanced, you are going through teenage angst (am i pretty? do boys or girls like me? where is my life going? am i skinny? am i cool?) all are questions we ask ourselves growing up but please do not cut yourself as it will just leave you with scars and a permanent reminder in the future where i promise you will realise none of that stuff was all that important.

Right now you are still a kid, I know you are growing up and want to be mature but really its true. Apart from studying, on the grand scheme, nothing matters all that much. You have the defining moments yet to come and college to re-invent yourself. Imagine how hard it will be at college to explain away those scars?

Maybe look in to counselling as this is completely normal and some kids cope better than others. I would hate for you to have any lasting issues.

As for kids at school, if they are mean please realise it means nothing... x

[TheFangirl]

You do have depression. At the very least a mild form. You should tell your family and get help. Yes I know it might be hard to tell them, but you need to stress the importance of the situation. Tell them about the cutting, because it is very harmful to you, and you could end up seriously hurting yourself. I know therapy can seem scary, and like it is only for crazy people, but that isn't the case. You need help, and a therapist can help you, and help you love yourself. Please get help, talk to your family, and get help. If you need anything, just message me, or we can talk on here.

[Coffinspire]

Well it most certainly doesn't help that you're 16 and going through the "teenage angst" I figured out that every time I had a breakdown, I would get my period a few days later. They have since stopped since I don't get my period all that often and my hormones have gone way down. I know it's not much but I hope it helps.

[Hannah591]

To me, it sounds like serious insecurities which play on your mind until you have these breaks of sadness. You put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect when no-one can be perfect. Seeing a therapist for your insecurities and to stop you from focusing on them and ultimately growing confidence, would benefit you. You need to change your thought processes drastically.

We're not doctors here so you should always see a doctor for things like this.

[Asker]

Your opinion helped. I really do see myself in what you wrote. Thank you.

[Just1n123]

I have depression and I go through the same things as you do, so yes you seem to have depression, the best thing to do is tell someone so you can get professional help. And talk to your family about it because they are there to help not put you down. Lots of people have depression and the sooner you get help the sooner you get rid of it.

[Asker]

I don't really want to tell my family. I feel like the depression is not bad enough for them to take seriously. They're just going to say a few words about how perfect I am and that the so called "depression" will end. I don't think they would want to waste money on a therapist actually because we're a little low on money at the moment. Is it possible for me to see a therapist privately without them knowing, and that we can discuss if the depression really is a depression, and then later on I can tell them? I don't really know what to do to be honest..

[Just1n123]

If you cry for hours on end and you cut then it's bad depression, I understand the cost issue. If someone you trust can pay for it and take you every week to a therapist then yes you can and then tell your family later. Just don't put a lot of stress on yourself by thinking too hard about this. If you need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to message me.

[Asker]

I don't always cut though. I only cut if I feel too bad. A few times lately, I've felt like cutting, but then I fought it. So, as you can tell, it's been a while since I've cut myself. Anyway, thanks for your opinion.

[Just1n123]

That's good that you fight it. You're welcome.