How do I stop hating myself?

[Anonymous]

How do I stop hating myself?

I'm 16 and a junior in high school. I've never had a girlfriend and have been rejected twice. Last year was my first time getting any A's in any class, I got 4 A's quarters 1-3 and all 7 A's quarter 4. Before last year I had always been a terrible student, I failed a class freshman year and took summer school and got a 95. My goal is always to be better than I've ever been before and last year my overall average was 91.01, (92.57 Semester 2) my semester 1 average was higher than last year but my semester 2 average so far isn't anywhere near it. In Astronomy my perfect streak of getting no 0's came to an end after 322 consecutive 100 grades going into last year without getting a zero. But out of the 16 grades 15 of them are 100's so I've survived it but in English I'm stumbling. I started off with a 91, it's now a 79. And in French 2 I got 66 grades on two quizzes. Furious would never even begin to explain how angry I am at myself right now. My depression is coming back, it lasted from June 2014-January 2016 and I was able to stop self harming by cutting but now instead I punch myself and rip the hairs off my body. I do I because I hate myself. How do I stop hating myself so much?

[SirenDep]

We can't be good in everything we do! It's normal that you are better in some subjects than in others. It will be good for you to start giving yourself credit for the things you're good at, instead of thinking about what you aren't good at. You are a smart kid, you should stop harming yourself, and use that energy and time to study some more those subjects, or you could find a tutor or study with a friend. You are still not ready for a relationship. I heard that most normal guys are more often being rejected than accepted. They don't give up, one out of ten or twenty women will accept to go out with them.

[SirenDep]

thanks for the mho!

[AdamThomas]

Why exactly do you hate yourself? It sounds like you're pretty smart and it's just the depression that's bringing you down on your grades. I never got any As, only Bs and Cs.

As for girls rejecting you, don't worry about it. I've been rejected probably 100+ times but I've probably been with more women than the average guy, and even then I didn't have a girlfriend til I was 18. it's no big deal, it's just a numbers game. You'll find girls that like you eventually, nobody can win them all.

[AdamThomas]

Thanks for MHO

[Avenuewriter]

It sounds like you are in serious need of a counselor or therapist. They can help with things like depression and self harm, not to mention self loathing. So, the first step to learning to stop hating yourself is to get yourself the help you need. There's no shame in it, sometimes we all need help. Trust me I was in a similar boat not too long ago.

[Asker]

I can't afford a therapist

[Avenuewriter]

There are options. Depending on your situation, your parents can help you find help, or you can go to your school counselor. There are plenty of ways to get the help you need, it's just a matter of looking for it.