How do get my boyfriend to lose weight and live healthier without being a jerk?

[Anonymous]

I've been in a serious relationship with this awesome guy for the past 7 months, but its long diatance. So my boyfriend and I always call on Skype at night and fall asleep in call together. He snores really loud at times, but not the rhythmic snore. In fact, it sounds like he occasionally stops breathing for a bit before loudly snorting. I worry that he might have sleep apnea. I've heard that being overweight is correlated with having this sleep disorder. Tbqh He's overweight, but it doesn't bother me at all, even though he's insecure about it. I really really don't care, I just worry about his health. How do I get him to lose some weight without hurting his feelings? I don't even care if he loses weight tbh, I just want the really strange snoring to stop. I'm being a jerk aren't I. :( not even sure if it's sleep apnea, it just doesn't sound like normal snoring (atleast not compared to my roommates or parents).

[worldscolide]

First how heavy is he?

It took me years to finally do something about it, and even then, it was my doctor saying " Do you want to live to see 50" that was a wake up call. The other things that were with that, was the fact that i want to be around for children if i have them.. He has to want to do something about it though.

Tell him how worried you are about him, if you can turn weight loss in to a game... Do you ever see each other? If so choose activities that get the blood pumping when he is around. The simple act of taking a walk rather than seeing a movie can work wonders. if he needs help with it or you need help with it i will happily say more on it. its only been two months for me, and the bottom line for me was i just dont want to die.

[madhatters4]

i think a clever way of suggesting losing weight is to suggest doing some exercises together. perhaps since you are long distance you could make it a sort of competition. like making a competition of who can walk or run the most miles over a week.

that all said his weight may not be the issue why he snores. i'm 5'7 and 145lbs and if i sleep in a certain position i snore. his sleep position (like sleeping on his back or not having his neck angled up to open airways) could be a cause, or if he has things like allergies or asthma it could cause snoring. so those are things to consider before jumping to it being a weight issue... not saying that his weight isn't the issue

[Asker]

180lb, 5'8"

[Darkfairie17]

Well, you could just talk to him about the snoring and say you are concerned. Don't even have to bring up weight. I'm sure if he goes to his doctor about the snoring they will suggest weight loss. So you don't even having to breach that subject with him.

Snoring can happen for all sorts of reasons. Perhaps people in his family snore, maybe his muscles relax too much in his sleep and cause him to snore.

It's totally normal to be concerned though.

[Asker]

He stops breathing sometimes for up to a minute. I'm pretty sure that isn't normal. O. o. also, he's really sensitive, he gets super flustered when I bring up his snoring, he'll say sorry make a huge sad face, before hiding under his desk. Then he suggests muting himself at night over Skype. :(

[Darkfairie17]

Awe, that's not good. The only thing I can suggest is to tell him that there are treatments available. And you are only mention this to him because you are concerned. Muting Skype isn't going to solve the problem. He will also probably feel more refreshed after sleep if he seeks help for the snoring!

[Darkfairie17]

Thanks!!

[crystalt70]

Talk him into seeing a dr about his snoring. Tell him you are worried that he may have sleep apnea since he stops breathing and would like him to get checked. Don't bring up his weight. If that is something the dr believes contributes to his snoring, let the dr handle that.

[KittieCat]

I would say put your foot down and sorta be demanding about it but kind at the same time. Explain how it scares you that this happens to him and that his health is at risk. Tell him that you want the best for him and you will support him 100%. I would also explain that his appearance does not affect your attraction to him.
I have a similar issue with my boyfriend as he's a twig and he eats extremely unhealthy. He's stubborn but he's learning, hopefully this helped :)

[DiogoRibeiro]

It's hard. But in the end you have to emphasize that being healthy is important if you guys want to go the distance.

Maybe this could help: www.fitness.gov/eat-healthy/how-to-eat-healthy/

[xxThatQuietKidxx]

Perhaps tell him about the odd snoring and nudge him to see a doctor so if it is sleep apnea , the doctor can be the bearer of bad news. And yeah I understand your description of it and concern, my dad was overweight and had it as well

[sunlite]

next time he's eating something unhealthy, just slowly take it out of his hands and whisper "not today"

[the-mad-german]

He has a bigger Problem than his weight. I also got that symptoms its a disease called apnea. He really should consult a doctor ASAP!

[GOOSEBOY78]

if you need him to lose weight, tell him. you need to lose weight to get the snoring surgery anyway.

[orphan]

with $..

people will do anything when encouraged w/ $

[Anonymous]

Be the one to make his meals.

This is how my wife helped me lose 30 kg in 6 months.

[Asker]

I totally would, but we live 300 miles apart. I cry

[Opinion Owner]

My wife lived 600 miles from me before she was my wife and before she moved in with me. Just saying :)