Would you mention to someone you cared about that you were worried about their weight/health?

[Anonymous]

My ex partner has never exactly been skinny, but before, he still worked out even though he really liked his food. In fact when I met him, how he was built was part of what attracted me to him.

When we broke up, I still saw him a lot because we have a little boy he was still spending time with him every weekend and occasionally he'd come round at some point during the week.

Recently, we've had some trouble because he'd got arrested and I didn't want him coming around here until he'd decided what he was actually doing with his life.

Today I saw him for the first time in just over a month and I was quite shocked. He has put on so much weight, and it hasn't even been that long. My mother was here and she mentioned it to me, and I tried saying " he's not fat, he just..." and I couldn't think of the word, and she was like "no, he's fat"

It's not really even his size, it's more that he doesn't look or seem healthy and it's worrying. I'm not being cruel, I am just genuinely worried.
I know it's technically none of my business, but I don't want to see him get more and more like that. To from one thing to looking so different in a month...

I also know it's not my place to approach it, or anyone's place but like I keep saying, I'm worried. I don't know if there is anything I can do.

[Fearless_banana]

Yeah my sister is overweight. Everyone in her life is too pussy to say anything about it but I went off on her to get my point across and she got really emotional and started crying. It's not healthy and it was affecting her confidence negatively. I care about her and I personally don't give a shit if she doesn't like me temporarily because I'm sure she will thank me once she loses it. I cringe at this whole fat acceptance culture.

[Asker]

Do you think it's easier to say to a girl though, because she's more likely to take it on board, and you can say that to her as her brother. It is your place.

For me, it's not really my business, and that's probably how he'll see it.

I don't understand this need to reassure everyone that it's OK to be unhealthy either. It does no favours.

[Bandit74]

I wouldn't want to be accused of fat shaming.

Apparently even things that may not seem like fat shaming actually are :o

everydayfeminism.com/2016/05/fat-shaming-phrases/

So I say let them fuck em, let them stay fat.

[Mustachekitteh]

Yep I would straight up tell them they should work on it.