Does Depression ever go away?

[wingattebaby16]

Depression, panic attacks, and anxiety run in all the women in my family.

I just broke up with the man of my dreams last month over "prenup" details we could not agree on, and they are important deal breakers.

I have been fighting depression for over a month. I try to work long hours, hang out with friends until I need to sleep, I even had gotten drunk/stoned to keep it at bay.

My "parents" (adopted) tell me I just need to deal with it and get on with life. My dad says I should just find a new boyfriend to fill my sucking chest wound of emotional depression. My mom tells me I should sit and talk for hours about how I feel.

Neither of these options helps. I have given up on "therapists". I get super depressed and emo whenever I don't have a man in my life, having a relationship with him. Dating boys only fills the emptiness for a short while.

My real mom (i haven't seen her in 6 years) had panic attacks to the point we would have to take her to the emergency room.

How do you deal with depression? No, I am not suicidal, nor will I do something stupid. When I numb the pain with alcohol or mj, I do it in a safe environment and don't endanger others.

Any suggestions welcome!

[Levin]

Honestly, while people are clueless to the exact nature and cause of depression, including professionals, I think people are going to struggle.

Firstly, would you ever say an individual should be free from fear, or from anger, or from anxiety? These are natural emotions, as part of the five phases, which are just an expression of yin and yang. @dangerDoge put it beautifully. The body, the individual at all levels, goes through natural cycles, expansive and contractive, on myriad levels, micro, meso and macro. An individual can not keep expanding upwards indefinitely, if nothing else, it would burn the nervous system up. So it is natural to go through these natural emotional shifts, which incidentally, relate to the seasons (from the Fire and expanse of summer, to the Watery contraction and fear of winter - the scrambling for energy and fear of oblivion (water at it's worst)). Funnily enough, the turn of Autumn is the season of Metal, or if you like, grief and depression :)

So firstly, emotional shifts are natural. It is our perception of them that causes the issue. You know, I roll my eyes at how depression is treated, and the pill popping, which is fair enough if one wants to use that, it's not for me to judge. But it simply masks the symptoms. The issue is that we think that depression is a terrible thing, that something that has gone terribly wrong. I've been in the depths of it. I know it's not a pleasant thing. You have this part of yourself, that you're trying to deny, that you're trying to do all you can to get away from. This is your depression. You don't fight depression. You be with depression, you go into it's feeling space, you integrate it. And you keep doing it, again and again. Because it will come back some times, because it is natural. You uncover the thing that is making you sad, the thought you have, the sense of hopelessness, you bring it to the fore, you question it, you challenge it. Thinking it will last forever is just another perception in itself.

The final thing is, because, of course, most people don't understand emotions and their function. Emotions simply provide a tangible feeling sensation with which to look at your thoughts and perceptions and actively challenge them. Thoughts that aren't serving you. If your organism thinks hopeless thoughts, your actions follow suit, as you give up, and your organism begins to decline. So emotions are to keep you safe. Also, the body naturally 'sheds' emotions.

[Levin]

In other words, pain, in a certain sense, is an indication of healing. And that your body is repairing itself, and throwing out and giving the opportunity to challenge past experiences which no longer serve you. It sounds like, you had some traumatic experience in your childhood, something that left you with a sense of hopeless in some area of your life (relating to intimacy?), that you need to understand and bring to the surface. Why do you need a man so much? Why do you feel so lonely if you don't have a man in your life? Can you think of a past experience, perhaps relating to something happened with your mother and father, that is feeding into this. Can you remember when this emotion started in your life? What else was happening during that time?

[dangerDoge]

After the passing of time it can go away. It's not like you'll ever completey forget the feeling (or lack of feeling), but you can become happy again in time.

What's important to know is that life is a series of ups and downs.
Imagine this graph represents our life:
i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...000000578-356_634x430.jpg
See how it isn't smooth? Just as the graph has ups and downs, life has periods of happiness and sadness. What you are going through right now is one of the dips in life. What is essential to know however is that the low points balance back out to average.

In a sense, it's the essence of statistical regression at work. Extreme points eventually regress back to the mean.

It's really difficult to see this though, which is the problem you are most likely going through. We know our present and past, but human future insight sucks. We often get into the trap of thinking the sadness lasts forever. (And this is unfortunately where most suicides occur, because of this.) But it doesn't. You need to keep hope life will get better. It will at some point.

On a side note, I'd avoid turning to alcohol or drugs to cope. It could lead to a slippery slope that goes from "wanting the occasional help" to "feeling of necessity." It may be under control now, but I would focus on more healthy ways of dealing with your troubles.

Getting a new boyfriend may be a temporary fix, but having a rebound relationship like that could lead to more trouble than it's worth. Talking to someone about issues (like what your mom said) can help if you feel trapped from your emotions. However, I can understand that it doesn't seem to fix anything.

My advice is two fold here:
1.) Find something to be passionate about. Find something that you can essentially focus on that gives you happiness, like a hobby. Maybe you like to read, maybe you always wanted to learn an instrument but never got around to it, maybe you want to draw or sing. The possibilities are vast. What I did was music, and I was able to poor my emotions into lyrics and songs. This helped me out greatly as it gave me something to be proud of. It didn't numb the pain-- it redirected it towards something positive which is better

2.) Free writing.
www.utexas.edu/.../pennebak#writing-health
Look at the link. It goes over it. Essentially, this is where you write in a stream of consciousness sort of way. It helps sort out internal struggles.

[dangerDoge]

And if you have questions/concerns/complaine, feel free to PM or comment below 👍

[dangerDoge]

complaints*

[Anonymous]

Depression sucks, and I'm sorry that you are in this situation. First off, stop using alcohol to cope. It does more damage than happiness in the long run. Depression and anxiety run in my family as well, from my mom's side, and you cannot really change genetics. Depression does go away, though. I swear it does. I had a strange bout of depression for several long months that I am still recovering from, but I feel much better physiologically speaking.
I don't know much about breaking up, but I know that it does hurt and can become a gateway for bad mental health. Just let yourself have time to move on, however long that takes you. Your parents probably are just trying to give advice, even though you probably just wanted someone to listen. It seems that you are not very close to them, either. If they give you unwanted advice again when you are only trying to let out your feelings, tell them politely.
If there is a friend you trust, talk to them about it. It might be more relatable if they give you advice.
Just give yourself time to move on. Do not talk with your ex if you can avoid it, and try to have a little time to yourself to cry, cope, meditate, read, take a long shower, write in a journal, this really helps clear your mind. I know that you will get better with time, however much you need. And please, if you do end up getting constant thoughts of death/suicide, you should definitely see a professional about it.

[Livinglogical]

You sound more like you are lonely and a little heart broken than depressed and maybe suffering from low self esteem. If you were actually depressed, relationships probably wouldn't solve it.

You need to learn to value yourself more and try to live in the moment. Adopt the mantra - hakuna matata.

Also, what I think really works is to look in the mirror each morning and give yourself three compliments... maybe after you've put your make up on haha. Or even just say 'you can do it, I believe in you!'.

Because if you aren't good enough for you then how can you expect to be good enough for a relationship?

I used to hate being single, now it doesn't bother me at all. Men are usually nothing but trouble anyway! Think about it, are you happier now after having that relationship? No, you're miserable. If you'd never met him you wouldn't be as miserable right? Exactly. That's the way it always works, at least in your twenties. There's unlikely to ever be a happy ending from relationships at this age as most men aren't gonna want to marry you and live happily ever after. So it makes more sense to just live each day for yourself for now :)

[Rawrzz]

It does if you make it. Don't get drunk to avoid depression. It will just make it worse. It's a depressant, you know. Weed would be okay. It's more numbing, though I would advise caution, as it tends to make time disappear. But, it's a good way to let time pass to heal the wound, if you don't overdo it and wake up 10 years later

Depression, I feel, is failure in dealing with pain. Rather than just hoping it goes away, you have to fight it and endure the pain

Don't give up on therapists. It's a matter of finding one that works for you. One will. If you are honest. It will help with more than just depression. If you keep looking--and don't give up--you'll find an acceptable one. Particularly, as you essentially just claimed you are innately co-dependent. There is also a Codependents Anonymous meeting that you might consider. After getting high, if it would help

Primarily, making sure your needs are taken care of is of utmost importance. Depression is dangerous, because it makes you not want to do anything. Sounds like you've got that handled, but you still need to make sure your needs are taken care of

But, failing that, constant distractions and smoking weed to numb the pain is also a legitimate alternative

I was diagnosed as major depressive, recurrent, severe when I was 15. I've gone through all the motions. Kratom killed it, for me. Addictive, some undesirable side effects. But I feel significantly less pain. The DEA is trying to ban it. They failed to enact an emergency ban--for literally no legitimate reason, it's perfectly safe and has several medical uses (I claim). 52 congressmen stopped the ban, along with petitions and protests. Though, it is still banned in several states

I've taken it daily and habitually for 3 years. Try a red strain from Bikhuk or some other ethnobotanical vendor. Red strains are sedating; green strains aren't; white strains are sorta like coffee. Mild euphoria, sedation or stimulation and empathogenic effects. Don't buy from smoke shops. It taints kratom's image with the contrast to bath salts, K-2, and other dangerous lab chemicals. Not to mention bad quality and overly pricy. The red strains can be very, very sedating. So, green would be best during the day; red at night

I've also heard that kratom mixes well with weed; but, I weed makes me ultra-paranoid after a Hellish acid trip

I also work out 2-3 times a week, eat healthily, and make sure I get quality sleep. In short, making sure my needs are fulfilled

[Rawrzz]

I try to get quality sleep*, I correct, waking uo 2 hours after going to bed.

2-3 days off in a week, if you go the kratom route. Mandatory. Don't take it every day. Don't kill you. Addiction to it isn't the worst thing, though. Little bit more addictive than coffee. But best to avoid dependence on things. And people. And research and all that before taking a newly discovered substance.

[Rawrzz]

Newly discovered by you*£******* -_-

[mits777]

Just listen to me, it is all mental! I have passed throught hell in my life and always won over depression!!! Be strong, be self confident, be busy! Join a gym or other activity, work go out with friends try to improve each day! Be happy that you are healthy and fine and keep working on becoming better.
There are many people who wish to be like you. If you are depressed for breaking up with your boyfriend, what about many other people who may be invalid, can't walk, no arm no leg or other problems. You are fine girl , just be strong better days will come and a better man will came for you. And please QUIT alcohol and any other stupid drug and try not to go out with each man you find because many want to profit of your state now. You are just 22 don't make stupid things that will regret later, just think this you are the best and will become even better and someone who deserves you more will find you. NEVER GIVE UP AND DO STUPID THINGS

[RasmusAiken]

^^THIS^^ Read it! Listen. Read it again.

[Paris13]

Anxiety and Depression runs in my own family, @wingattebaby16. Thank God I don't have this, but Know what they All had to go through.
However, The right Medicine and a Good doctor can Best assist in this matter. And No, it won't 'Ever go away' unless you take the First baby Steps in Getting the Help that is Needed in Dealing with this.
Good luck and My blessings. xx

[mikemx55]

I just saw this right next to your question:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2136678-is-depression-the-truth

Thought I'd share

[JenSCDC]

If therapy hasn't worked, you ought to go see a psychiatrist to talk about medications.

No matter what, don't be ashamed- depression is an illness, not a personal weakness.

[Blonde401]

Mine never has. I've always been mentally ill and I probably won't ever get better. You just get used to it being there. It doesn't get easier, you just don't know any better.

[Tomsta]

Not totally no, you learen to deal with it. You learn what triggers it. You learn to change your life in a way that makes you feel happy, but Depression is a chemical imbalence in the brain, it's something that doens't tend to go away fully

[Primemutton]

I would not like to offer too strong an opinion as I am not medically qualified but I think having plenty of hobbies and interests to occupy you in your spare time might help.

[Anonymous]

not by itself. you need to put yourself in a different state of mind

I've had depression for 6 years. only just started coming out of it again in the last year or so

therapy is everything :)

[Speedsix]

It comes and goes, I don't know that it ever goes away completely. I hate it

[Mustachekitteh]

In time it can but you have to work on it

[Shawn58]

No I don't think it ever goes away to be honest

[Anonymous]

Yes, You have to fight it hard though!

[Anonymous]

Mental illness thy name is woman.

[Waffles731]

Never completely