Is not drinking a turn-off?

[Anonymous]

I was at a bar with several of my classmates. I don't drink, but I went because I thought it would be fun, being with people you know, and it was. However, I was the only one who didn't drink; everyone else had a few. I just don't like to, so I don't.

Now, the thing is, one of my classmates--she's a girl---asked me if I drank. She's a very good-looking girl and she put her arm around me and asked me this. We rarely talk in school, so I was surprised, but she had a few drinks in her, so I guess she didn't have many inhibitions. Then she offered to buy me a shot, to which I declined.

Looking back, though, I feel kind of bad. I was rejecting the drink, not her. If that was real interest, I don't want her to think I was saying no to her. When we resumed school, she continued her normal attitude towards me, which is not saying anything, so I'm not sure she even remembers.

But, here's the thing. I don't want girls to discount me just because I don't drink. It doesn't mean I'm not a fun guy; it just means I don't like to. If this girl was just a little off her rocker and just asked/offered for the sake of it, that's fine. But if she was really interested and wanted to chat while having drinks, and then was turned off because I don't, then I find that bothersome. Is this a problem I'm going to keep running into?

[bballer25]

Not at all. My older brothers who are 28 and 29 have maybe touched a drink twice in their lives... They've been in plenty of relationships. I'm 22 and I've been drinking since I turned 21, socially (I'm in college, too).

It's all in your attitude. Now there are the those who don't drink because they think it's so bad and they're "above" everyone else by not doing so. That would be the biggest turn off for me, personally, and I think a lot of women would agree.

You sound like you do know how to have fun, alcohol really isn't a big deal whether people drink or not in my opinion. And so what! Even if you're not the life of the party, who cares! As long as you're happy. But like I said, I think if you were to tell someone that you don't drink and go off judging those who do, then you'll have a problem.

And if you find yourself liking a girl and they see that you don't drink, and then judge you for that, wowzers, SO not worth your time. I cannot tell you how many times I've been in that situation. I started drinking just a year ago, socially. When I wouldn't before, people thought I was some uptight bitch and that would seriously p*ss me off. Sober or not, I'm still the same person, I just like to have fun with my friends in a different way.

Anyways! :) I hope what I said made sense. Good luck to you.

[LaurynH117]

I don't think it's a problem. I don't drink either by choice and yeah my friends tease me about it all the time and still try to get me to drink but if you don't want to you don't want to. It is not nor should it be a deal breaker. It's like smoking. You either do or do not because you do or do not want to. I wouldn't worry about it too much - it's not something that's going to make a huge difference. Just stay safe =]

[alexajade30]

You should have said "No let me buy you a shot!" and just not buy one for yourself. So she knows you want her around and your giving her a free drink... Also I think not drinking is a turn on, I've always like guys who come out and party, have a good time, and don't drink. They are stoic.

[Ellis]

Ok let me tell you something my friend, I am 26 I used to drink socially now and then, and then reached my age 26 and my whole lifestyle changed, I eat very healthy, exercise and weight lift, and part of this good lifestyle is no alcohol, yes none, I will never touch a drop of it until I die, There is nothing to gain from it, no health benefit nothing, just wrecks your liver.

At the end of the day it is peer pressure, you did the right thing and that's be your own man and people respect you for that!, if a girl can't tuff!, that's who you are bro and you stick to it!. A girl will respect you for who you are!.

I can happily go out and have fun without alcohol!, yes I can talk! and actually get home!.

[johnny_hustle]

I like these answers, I was kinda worried myself. I don't drink myself. I think if a woman is mature enough she won't care either way.

[Anonymous]

I do not think so. I do not drink either by choice and guys ask me if I do and I say no and they seem relieved and say they do not either