Did I hurt his feelings?

[Anonymous]

I was texting with the guy I'm chasing, and he was telling me that he likes my curves. He has some too, though he's lost a good bit of weight. I told him that I appreciate his curves as well and always have, and then he didn't respond after that. Do you think I hurt his feelings?

I intended for it to be wholly complimentary because I have always been attracted to him, pre-weight loss and after. I honestly like a little extra on a dude. I wanted him to know that, but I fear it may have backfired...

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+1 y

I've given him compliments that were completely unrelated to his weight, as well.

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+1 y

It turns out I didn't hurt his feelings at all. He actually chastised me, and told me I "gotta give myself more credit." :D

[Quadrophonic84]

Speaking as a guy who was once 50 lbs overweight, yeah you might have made him self-conscious. The nice thing about guys is that you can be direct with us. Tell him what you just told a bunch of strangers on the internet :)

[Asker]

:) How do I bring it up? He brought up his extra in an offhand way when we were together (we're long distance at the moment) and I wanted to say something similar right then, but I guess I was too timid to. Do I just send an out of the blue "Hey, didn't mean to step all over your ego the other day; I've just always thought you're a hottie" text? That sounds so...I don't know, weird.

[Quadrophonic84]

Just say you were looking through the old convo in your phone and you realized that what you said didn't sound right. You were trying to say that you always found him attractive. Don't mention the weight, you don't have to.

[Asker]

That indeed sounds more diplomatic. It kind of makes me sick to my stomach to think that I might have hurt his feelings.

So, if he's likely self-conscious about it, why would he ever bring it up? I certainly never would have thought about broaching the subject if he hadn't, and I essentially shower him with compliments besides.

[Quadrophonic84]

Well for me being self conscious about my weight was all about people noticing it. If you said curves then you obviously noticed he had/has some. That in itself would have been enough to make me cringe a little bit, just thinking that you're thinking about it. The fact that he brought it up can only mean he was curious what you'd say, perhaps hoping you didn't notice anything.

[Anonymous]

Ummmm, it might have. Maybe he's a little sensitive about that. Or he could have just been busy doing something else. I think you should talk to him about it though and see what happened

[Kadiboma]

You told a GUY you appreciate his CURVES? Ouchie! Yeah I think you might've hurt him! :(

[JackHutson]

yes you are