When it comes to tipping, how do you determine if/how much you tip?

[Red_Raconteur]

I work at an upscale wine bar. Most of our customers are middle aged to elderly and are normally well-off, otherwise they wouldn't be leaving their Jaguar in our valet while buying our $80 bottle of wine.

The most I've ever been tipped is 10%, and that's only happened to me a handful of times. For the most part, I don't get tipped at all. On an average night we serve 400 people and about 20 of them leave tips of around 2-3%. This does not just happen to me, but every one of my co-workers.

I do agree that tips should be earned and that you need to do your job well in order to receive tips. I can see how some of my co-workers end up getting stiffed on tips, but most of them are great bartenders and servers. Personally, I've only made three mistakes in the last two years regarding orders. I always work my fastest, though sometimes my speed depends on the person working behind the scenes, which slows me down. I am currently on bar because I can make and serve drinks faster than anyone else there.

This situation makes me curious about different people's tipping customs. I always leave at least 15%, even if the service wasn't great, 20% for average/good service, and I usually go 22% if the server was awesome.

Updates

+1 y

The way tips work at my place is that at the end of the night we pool everyone's tips and divide them equally. It doesn't matter if I'm just pouring wine or if I'm serving food, I make a percentage of the combined tips.

Updates

+1 y

Last night, everyone left with 50 cents. That's a combined $3 over the course of a night.

[honeyltsme]

First a joke, which a waitress in St. Petersburg, Russia has told me.

So this American businessman is in Russia on business. He frequents a particular restaurant - the food is good, and it is just across the road from his hotel, and frankly the waitress is rather lovely and delivers good service. So he tips her rather well and she us the one to consistently serve him and his tips get even higher over time. Except one day he shows up and it's a different waitress, and he sees his original waitress give him bad looks from the opposite corner of the restaurant. He's anxiously asking his new waitress what was it that his previous waitress seems to think he's done wrong. Oh, nothing, Sir, the new waitress says - she just lost you to me in a game of cards!

My tipping depends on the product, the service, the effort, the circumstance, and the mood. The lowest I've tipped was 0% and the highest was 1,000% (yes, ten times the tab, and no, sex wasn't involved - it was actually a dude I was tipping, ironically a boyfriend of a bar/restaurant hostess that I liked. He was under threat of getting deported, and he told me how she wept every night hoping he'd stay, and for her sake I got him that bit of money so he'd be able to at least have a proper talk with a good immigration lawyer). Many NYC cabs do not even have the convenience pre-calculated option for a 15% tip - it's 20, 25, 30% or whatever you estimate. If I see that I do my own estimate, and I estimate 0 or 10% - for ease of calculation and for spite. I tip okay on my own but absolutely hate being manipulated into tipping more.

In New York, one tends to get good service in decent places - which means fast, with no confusion. So I rarely feel the need tip below 15% at restaurants and bars, but I would do it with no hesitation. If a person in a service industry is having a really bad day, that is their choice to bring that to work, so long as they appreciate that that is the day they will take home $0 in tips.

Very good to excellent but "plain" service will get around 20%. A genuine skill and / or effort above and beyond the call of duty, like an exceptionally well mixed dirty martini (which varies based on the person, the mood, how cold it is outside, etc.), remembering my name and what I drink from last time, other attention, will get you from 20 to 50%. From 50 to 100% it is about knowing the situation and being more of a partner than server. Like just silently bringing my date a fresh drink same as the one she has just finished, without me even asking for it. (Of course this implies observation skills and understanding of the situation to comfortably know when this is and isn't appropriate). Comping some of my drinks (not for the sake of saving me money but as a genuine gift), etc.

[theacefospades]

I have a point system. I know what waiters are good from doing it myself. (I did pretty well. I worked at a mid-range restaurant and made an average of %17 and yes I kept track) Depending on speed (Which doesn't give them much either way) Awareness (If they refill my drink without me asking and it's free that's big points) I also watch how they wait the other tables. If they have impressed me I give as much as %30 if it's a place I don't usually go. If I'm a regular I give as much as %40.

When I come in you start at %10. And depending on performance (Average gets you 15) I give you a bonus or a decrease.

You wanna know why? Cause if I give someone big money often they will most likely wise up to it and give me better service in order to win my favor. I've walked into places and heard the waiter say to someone "It's a thirty minute wait" and then they see me and sit me down immediately. Same happens at the barber. Cause I started tipping 8 bucks per hair cut. Which is more than %50.

So that's pretty cool.

Tipping is an art to me. If you screw up you arn't entitled to %15 the least I ever give is %5.

I don't know how interesting this is to anyone. But tipping is a game to me and it's a lot of fun.

[honeyltsme]

+1 on last statement and overall

[zombiefood]

Well, they're probably thinking that since the stuff is so expensive they can tip less because the percentage of the whole is higher. They order $80 bottle of wine and a.. what $100 meal? They probably think that because the total is higher then a lower tip equals what you would give someone at... Say, Friendlies, and that's the standard amount to tip, around 5-10 bucks.

Personally if it's really sh*tty service I won't feel bad giving 5%. If it's decent I'll give 15%-20% (whatever I happen to have on my person, always give tips in cast). And if it's great service... Well, I've given 85%-95% tips before. But that means that it has to be fast service and the server has to be personable, not just chatty but I have to want to go back and request her. It's only happened twice. And both times the waitress would stop by and we'd talk for a few minutes in between her serving people. It's not easy to get that big a tip from me.

And as bar tender they might not realize they can still give tips. Or, if they do, they might think it's the kind of tipping deal they have at Dunkin Donuts where whatever change you happened to have just toss that down.

[mokaladybuggie]

it depends if I was broke or not if I was broke id tip 10%-15% if I wasn't anywhere between 20%-25%

[Even-I-can-do-it]

I'm taking it that your just at the bar & not waiting tables.

I usually leave the barmaid $5 or maybe more depending on how long I sat there & how good the service is. I talking about in a nice restaurant nothing too upscale like it sound like your talking about. I normally wouldn't order an $80 bottle of wine but if all the barmaid did was open the bottle & give me a the wine glasses I would go with 10% Hell even if I stop for a couple of beers in a dump I leave a couple of dollars.

How can people be so oblivious to the fact that a portion of your salary IS TIPS?

[Red_Raconteur]

I'm at the bar 75% of the time, but they have me doing other things (hostess, tables) the other 25%.

[Even-I-can-do-it]

i read your update(s) It's nice that tips are pooled. Hopefully everyone gives it their all.

Are all restaurants / bars like that in your town? Hardly seems worth it. Just throw the food at them.

Ever think about a different place?

[Brando]

I never spend a huge amount on myself, so I don't really get into calculating tips. I usually just leave $2 unless I pay with cash and the change is less than that. If the server is sh*tty, I *may* give them the change in my pocket if I'm in a good mood. My first job I was a server, so I really do sympathize with them. But like you said, tips have to be earned. I've lately been getting out of just leaving 2 and basing it on how well they do. This is because too often people act like they're entitled to a tip and don't have to do anything to earn it. I'm not going to leave my money on the table when they weren't very good at service. They are paid less because of tips, and are paid in tips as a motivator to perform well. You don't give good service, you don't get paid. Simple as that.

[bubbleboy]

Double the tax is the standard, so if it's normal I do that (8.75% tax in NYC). If it's great service, I'll round it off even higher, say $20 if the double is like $12.

They're just being cheap.

[Anonymous]

20 to 30% but I make 200k to 350k per year and I'm still broke.

Im an ultra consumer. I'm sure you know the more wealthy people are usually means the cheaper they are.

So if you work in a place frequented by the wealthy, expect misserable tips.

[Phoenix52]

I usually tip 10% if the service was lousy.

15% if average.

20% if good.

5% if I'm going broke. Sorry for being cheap.

[TheAlbinoBunny]

I don't think I've ever tipped.