Is it appropriate to ask my boyfriend if I should gain weight?

[tigergirl4]

I used to be very big and lost 95 pounds, this was over the past two years. I wasn't anorexic the whole time, but for the last year I battled with the eating disorder.

I'm "better" now, as in my thoughts about food and exercise and what a healthy lifestyle is has changed, but my weight is still very low. I only weigh 112lbs. and I'm around 5'7"/5'8".

I was talking to my mom the other day and she said that I still need to gain more weight(she has been telling me that for more than a year now ever since I got down to 120 pounds)

I think about it all the time actually. When I weighed somewhere in the 90lb range I hated the way I looked. Skeletal and sick.

I don't know if she meant that I looked like that still...but I'm a bit worried about my looks now.

My boyfriend always says that I could be naked, with no makeup on, hair a mess and still be beautiful. I still want his opinion though, so do you think it would be weird if a girl asked a guy about GAINING weight?

Updates

+1 y

P.S- My boyfriend has seen me at every stage in my weight, from biggest to smallest to now.

Updates

+1 y

No one can really dictate my body, I know that. I just care about what they think about how I look. Like if I gained a little weight and some curves, I'm sure my boyfriend would enjoy that lol

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

No at all.

First of all, we don't care about weight as much as you think we do! If I get along with a girl and she's beautiful in her own way, like her gracefulness, if she gained a little meat, I wouldn't mind. And I don't think your boyfriend would mind you asking him about actually gaining weight. I mean, he seems like a great guy, being there for you when you were big to small in size. Maybe this provides an incentive for you guys to work out together or go on an eating plan together, like doing yoga together or salsa dancing and picking out a new restaurant to eat at every week. Like making it a hobby to try various cuisines. Also, remember metabolism is a crazy thing, its sometimes hard to figure out, just eat several small meals a day, like the morning, some yogurt with blue berries, mid breakfast cottage cheese with carrots, early lunch an apple and a tuna sandwich, later on some oatmeal and granola bars, for lunch a gourmet salad, and at night some milkshake, make cooking a hobby to, something you and your boyfriend can enjoy spending quality time in the kitchen. And you can even add some food to the bedroom for a little kink. Strawberries dipped in hot fudge? Yummy.

[Eiffelgirl21]

awww =) sweet answer!

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

I know right! I'm awesome at this

[Eiffelgirl21]

totally ;-)

[NicoJonesInc]

I don't think you will scare him by asking, but it seems like you're receiving plenty of messages from all over about your weight already. To me it seems like its YOU who needs to decide what size or shape is most healthy and right for you. If you truly have gotten"better" then issues with body dysmorphia should not get in your way. Take some time to yourself and discover what it is you want, because he has already told you what he thinks, the person who is uncertain is you. It's time to stop listening or even asking mom, boyfriend, friends, etc. and embrace who you are and find a weight that makes you the most happy and healthy.

[tigergirl4]

I know deep down that it's up to me, I just enjoy hearing where I stand with people.

[goflipaburger]

It's not inappropriate, if you really want his opinion, go for it.

Just keep in mind that this is YOUR body, and as long as you're being healthy you can do whatever you want with it. His opinion is important, I understand that, but just remember that you have the final say :)

You already know he thinks you're beautiful, and you know he's going to think that no matter what, but its also important to be comfortable with yourself.

And if you do choose to put on some weight, go a little at a time. Like stop after every 3-5 pounds and decide whether or not you want to continue. Your weight doesn't have to be permanently one way, change it as you deem necessary :)

[beerY33]

I don't think your boyfriend, or even your mom, should dictate whether or not you gain or lose weight. Do what's healthy for you (if you need help deciding that, consult a doctor) and don't worry about what others have to say. If you're comfortable with your body, that's what matters.

[Eiffelgirl21]

No...of course it isn't. I ask my boyfriend that all the time...but opposite..

"Baby, do you think I should lose weight?"

"I do not think you need to lose weight..you look fine to me."

"Fine? Fine? Why don't I look sexy to you?!"

"That's what I meant..."

Hahahahaa that's how it usually goes :-p

[b_luvedbaby]

Lol I do the same thing when my boyfriend says I look fine. "Fine? Just fine?!"

[SnackG]

lol That must suck for him. At least he didn't say you're fat.

[Eiffelgirl21]

@ SnackG, I wouldn't think he would since I am not fat, lol if I was fat then, he'd be fatter! hahaha ..but, no it was kinda a joke..and when I do say these things to him, he knows I only joke. I love to joke. =) @ b_luvedbaby, I know riiight! Men can never say the right thing! haha

[SnackG]

Oh OK. That's good then. I was thinking jeez she's one of those girlfriends. lol

[Eiffelgirl21]

LOL, no haha..Well..maybe sometimes! ha ha but, don't we all have our days? lol =))

[RandomGuy007]

I think it would be good to talk to him about it, and ask for his opinion. He should respect you and appreciate it that you are including him in such an important decision.

But remember, ultimately the choice is yours to do what is right for your body. So, even if he isn't as supportive as you'd like doesn't mean you should not do what is healthy and right for you.

[SnackG]

That's a loaded question. Guys know girls are sensitive about that. So you have to guarantee him that you won't get emotional over what he says.