GUYS how would you feel if the girl you love wanted you to hook her up with your friend??

[princess25sarah]

Ok, so my best friend, Bensen, really has a lot of feelings for me that I just don't return. He's like my brother. I've known him forever. He's my brothers' best friend. It's like he's part of the family. Anyway, we went through the whole "Sorry, Bensen, I just don't feel the same" and he was crushed and we got through it. Still best friends. Nothing's really changed.

I met his friend, Omar, who's like a SEVEN (I grade pretty hard, highest a guy's ever gotten was a nine). He could, of course, bump that score up a point or two depending on his mattress dancin abilities. Haha.

Anywho.

Omar's 29 and he's Bensen's EM-1. (They're in the navy, Bensen's only been in a year) We met the other day when we all went to the sports bar to watch Sunday Football.

Omar was givin me the vibe, winkin at me, and flirtin with me and I was totally flirtin back, but I doubt he'll make a move cus of Bensen.

SO

Is it totally messed up to ask Bensen to hook it up? Or is it messed up to even try to pursue this guy?

Bensen's dating girls, he can't expect me to not date anyone just cus he likes me.

Is that a total bitch move?

Dude, that's f*cked up. It's ok for you to date, but not his friends.

Not worth riskin the friendship cus your friend still has feelings for you.

Hey, if he's datin then why not go for it? You said the vibe is there!

Talk to him first to see how he'd feel. Then ask him to hook it up.

Updates

+1 y

Well Omar asked me out. So I asked Bensen what he would think if Omar and I went out. He said I could do what I wanted but then he wouldn't talk to me. I don't know what to do. I hope our friendship is more important to him than that, but I don't know.

[Talbot]

If he's dating other people and you have already gone through the whole you don't want a relationship thing with him then DO NOT ask him to set it up just ask the guy yourself next time your out, or flirt back and get him to ask for your number if the guy doesn't want to mess with you because of Bensen he will either tell you or you could ask if he thinks it will be a problem because of how Bensen felt about you before.

[princess25sarah]

So it's not completely wrong for me to date this guy? Obviously I don't want to hurt my friend and I agree, askin him to hook it up wouldn't be right. Thanks for your response.

[Talbot]

You told your friend how you felt and that isn't going to change anytime soon so if the guy you like doesn't have a problem with it then I don't see a problem at all. This has happened to me with me being in the same spot as your friend I dealt with it and we all went out together and had fun lol he even asked me what she liked so he could get something for her b-day. Again just don't ask your friend to hook you up. Good Luck

[princess25sarah]

Wow! So I have a real insider's opinion! That's great. You're a true friend, I don't know that a lot of people would have dealt well with that. Thanks so much! :-)

[Talbot]

Well the guy she liked was a good guy and if I couldn't be with her I wanted someone that would make her happy and I thought he could do that. Well I didn't speak to either for about a week to sort out my feelings but after that we were close friends. Though their first argument was funny when they brought it to me I listened to both sides then got them together and said "ok the person who is right is" then I flipped a coin lol their faces were priceless but it got them talking to each other.

[princess25sarah]

Haha that's funny. Sounds like you're a great friend to both of them. I hope Bensen will handle it (if anything ever happens) the same way. Happy Turkey Day

[Talbot]

Well you can't change how someone feels about you and once they see you as a friend you really have very little chance to be more so all you can do is be a good friend. Happy turkey day to you too now go eat and get that turkey high where you wake up later wondering what the hell happened lol

[princess25sarah]

Ooh! Ooh! Question!!

Ok so Omar messaged me on myspace and wrote: "So, Bensen hates it when I ask him to hook me up with you. What do you think? Should I keep doing it and irritate him more? Let me know what you think."

Haha, how funny. I told him I was gonna do the same thing. But I think he's doin it as more of a joke. What do you think?

Yeah, yay! Turkey! Haha, but can't sleep too deep. Gotta be up at 1 in the mornin to be to work at 2:30. Lame! Hate Black Friday. Enjoy your dinner! :-)

[Talbot]

Nah why irritate him but it answers the question on if he would mind since they are both still talking to each other. Just set up something with Omar so you can both hang out alone together and see where it will go. Well have fun at work I am off til monday (sorry had to rub that in) lol Oh I ate once with family then went to a friends and ate just a little but it was a fun day. Good Luck with everything

[Talbot]

Oh dear god he needs (Benson) to grow up and quit being an immature child throwing a tantrum just because he doesn't get his way.

Though he will probably after he gets over it start talking to you again, like I told you I stopped talking to my friend for a week before I resumed our friendship.

Though you should ask him if he wants you to be happy or miserable, and ask him why he has a problem with you and Omar dating. I just think a real friend would want you to be happy no matter what.

[Little-Hippie]

It's completely your call to date who you want.

Bensen's not your boyfriend or anything.

But KNOW that you and Bensen WILL grow apart because of it.

It's almost inevitable.

I seriously doubt he's going to get super pissed at you.

But within a few months, you'll barely know each other anymore. . .

[Little-Hippie]

Oh sorry. I misread the question.

You want Bensen to HOOK you guys up?

No, he'll just bail on you.

Then you'll definitely grow apart because you'll probably just stop talking.

It's a lose-lose situation.

[princess25sarah]

That really sucks. I don't want to lose my friend but at the same time I can't stop livin my life.

[Little-Hippie]

From reading your update, I can see that's already gone.

He'll talk to you again, but it won't be the same.

And you'll both be kinda over it.

[jesse1988]

i personally wouldn't do it. Will cause problems and have found guys wouldn't go over another guy's head for a girl

[princess25sarah]

Yeah. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my friend. Thanks for your insight

[ArtyC]

Pursuing is fine; you don't owe him anything, but it's wrong to ask him to hook you guys up. I don't think your a bitch; its just that you don't see him that way. So you saw it as a friend hooking up a friend, but he likes you; so think before you act.

[princess25sarah]

Definitely. You're right. No guy is worth losing a great friend. And I don't wanna hurt him at all. But I should be able to live my life too, right? Can't help how you meet someone. Or how you feel. Thanks for the answer.

[hporter1]

Which is more important a date with Omar or your friendship with Bensen?

[princess25sarah]

Hands down my friendship with Bensen. But should it really be that big of a deal?

[hporter1]

To bensen it probably is

[princess25sarah]

I'd hope our friendship would mean more than that to him.

[hporter1]

He's confused and thinks that you are part of his "territory". Think of guys as the male lion once they think it's theirs it is theirs. You need to tell Bensen what you want and tell him he's a friend but you can make any decision you want to.

[princess25sarah]

Ok. Thanks for you responses

[here4you]

oh man I'd feel horrible but say I was fine with it and wouldn't say and e thing and let it happen

[princess25sarah]

Thank you for your response. That's pretty much what happened, but even after I broke it off with Omar the friendship between me and Bensen was over. It's too bad but I guess I kinda saw it coming.