Suggesting he lose weight... is there a nice way to do it?!

[Anonymous]

How do I kindly suggest that my boyfriend lose weight? He's unhappy being overweight, but he's finding it hard to drop any pounds. We don't talk about it much because it's not my place to tell him how to live, but I want him to be happy, healthy and look his best and I think he wants to also. He eats out a lot because of work and doesn't exercise. I'm very fit and live a healthy lifestyle. I'm not trying to be mean, but it would be great for both of us!

Updates

+1 y

Also, if he's been overweight for the past 8 years and is 26, do you think he's going to change or is it just who he is sort of now?

[dtaijo174]

I'm a bit of a hard case on this issue, but I go into a relationship letting the other person know that I am very much into fitness and health. If they chose not to live this lifestyle I'll leave.

Since you went into this relationship with an unhealthy person, there's not much you can really say. Do what others have suggested, workout him etc. Guys need things bluntly stated too, so don’t hint, just say it.

What you should think about is that you are with a man that does not enjoy being in his situation and does NOTHING to fix it. Hopefully this character flaw doesn't carry forward when he loses his job... Something to think about.

[Asker]

Interesting point. I don't want to come out and insult him, but over time I might feel comfortable saying something bluntly. He's 100% determined in every other way in his life, including his job, so I have no worries about his character. He's about 50 lbs overweight, so it's not like he's killing himself. He doesn't seem to care too much about superficial things, I think that's the problem. He's from Europe and his culture seems to be that way...

[Icechip]

Don't say it of course but do a sport together or gym membership. Go running, walking, swimming, and eat better. Around 3500 is one pound of fat. If you find out how many calories he eats and stays the same weight. Keep eating the same amount of calories. If you take away 500 calories I day from that diet then he would lose one pound a week. 7 days * 500 calories = 3500 calories a week which is a pound a fat. Or just exercise enough to lose 500 or more calories a day.

[Icechip]

Also losing 2 pounds of fat a week is the most you wanna try for any more than that is unhealthy

[Asker]

Thanks for the info! I have heard this too, so if I slowly get him to do some of these things, it certainly can have an impact.

[Freetobe007]

Work out together! :D Maybe just tell him that if he's unhappy with his weight, then he should work to change it. It will make him feel better about himself and it's a good way to get productive! Just be really sweet and encouraging about it. Don't say it in a mean or harsh way and smile so that he doesn't feel like you don't think he's good enough and it just comes off as you wanting to help him out. Make sure you emphasize that it's about HIM, not you. :)

[Freetobe007]

*Update

If he really has a strong desire to lose weight, then he will. Nothing will stop him. He just needs to realize that it's something HE, HIMSELF has to take the time, effort, and energy to do. He seems to be stuck in reverse and that repels possibility! If he wants it then he needs to realize it can be his then get up and go take it!

[girlygirl1]

tell him to come with you to the gym because you want him to be healthy and fit like you and so you can spend more time together :)

[udolipixie]

Tell him you're losing attraction for him, don't desire having sex with the fatness, and would like it if he lost the fat.

[udolipixie]

@Update

You're stuck with the fatness that's just who he is.

If had wanted to change he would have done so already. Unless he's one of those want it but don't work for it people and do you really want that type?

So unless you think you can change him get used to him being fat and getting fatter while he gets an attractive partner.

[Asker]

Oh NO! I sadly already thought of that... he gets me (cute skinny girl) while he doesn't put in any effort to look good. I love who he is on the inside, so I want to be with him, but I really am not 100% attracted to the way he looks and losing weight would help that a lot. It' skind of not fair. I put in all of this effort and he doesn't, I feel like I've been in this situation a lot. Why don't some of these guys try!

[udolipixie]

You could let yourself go for 1 month. I mean really let yourself go- hair, makeup, weight and gauge his reaction.

If he starts complaining or trying to get you to be the old you then you have no reason to stay because while you'll stay with him if the situations reversed he'd want to & actually try to change you.

Don't let him not try because often times those types of guys will not give girls the same leeway.

[Asker]

I could never do that to myself! But I see your point... maybe I can do it to some extent and make comments about it to him. I mean he dresses nicely to work and tries his best, it's just the weight. He isn't a lost cause, just needs a push in the right direction so that I won't find myself drifting to hotter guys in the future if things aren't always perfect with us.

[udolipixie]

lol

Good luck.