Why do men prefer me to be skinny?

[betty_boop]

I was once a UK size 6 a few years ago, and the attention I got from men was unbelievable. I literally stopped traffic, and men asked me out daily.

Over time I put on weight, becoming a UK size 10. Not fat, right? But men's attitude changed completely! Suddenly I was invisible. It was always the model-like girl with skinny jeans and angles who got all the attention at parties. It never occurred to me that it was my weight because all the magazines say men hate skinny women, as do all the men on forums- everyone says men like girls with curves as long as they're healthy and not obese! But no one chatted me up - or indeed any of my average sized friends. I just thought it was weird but didn't connect it to weight.

Well, fast forward to a few months ago - I was stressed at work and lost weight by accident (I didn't think I needed to!) and suddenly, as if by magic, men are all over me again. Why oh why is weight so important to men? Are skinny women a status symbol or something? These men who like curvy women don't seem to exist. Unless the "curvy" woman is a tiny size 6 like me - but with big assets, yet titchy waist and slender limbs - i.e. like barbie! Unrealistic!

Please be HONEST in your reply - and don't just say what you think - tell me what most of your male friends think too.

[Chaaz]

A lot of guy friends like stick-insects I guess.

Most models are also stick-insects.

But myself, I like ReaL women who are real and not fake. So I do find beauty in normal women who might happen to be large or curvy.

Dont get me wrong, all women can be beautiful regardless whether they are stick insects or curvier creatures.

OKAY now for what you mentioned. I can give one answer.

When I was dating a curvy woman, I was army-fit and was a 8/10 easy... and she was plump sexy and beautiful to me, but to most guys she would be 5/10. Now for someone like me dating "down" as it were, I'd lose respect and be made the butt of jokes. And most guys would joke about the fat girl... and if you defended her... you became either a queer or a joke as well.

So for saving face, I would have had to try and go for the 9/10 stick-insect blond tall slim (possibly moronic and boring) woman that all other guys would want. This is because it would be a social norm.

So yes skinny women can be a status symbol, a visible status symbol.

But in my heart, the love I shared with a woman who was "fat" was a far more important status symbol to me than anything else, because I had love and it was beautiful. THen I got injured, and now I'm a 5-6/10 lol. She eventually signed up to join the military, so I'm sure she's a lot hotter now =).

BUT yes. Visible status symbol = fit/slim men and women.

And I agree with you, it is unrealistic and a turn off. I go for realistic women.

And in social situations where guys diss the fat girl and wanna go all over the skinny girl, I just keep my mouth shut and go for whichever girl catches my eye and whom I find beautiful (regardless of skinny/fat)... in my exe's case... it was her Eyes that caught me... nothing to do with her body.

Those fierce eyes. Powerful.

[stubbsy]

When the whistles become silent, this is men at their best, they no longer see you as a barbie, they see you as more, and possibilities become real, so they stop the whistleing and pay respect by staying silent, because they watch, A perfect 10 in view with possibilities don't get fantasy attention, she gets real attention, which is guys respecting her for her talents, but keeping it quiet so no one might notice you, because the last thing any guy wants is competition, he is watching in silence so he doesn't draw attention to any one else who might also be interested in you, so don't think loud attention is what its about, this is just men appreciating the view, but the silence is them thinking more of you, showing you more respect, and concidering the approach and taking their time because they don't want to screw it up. If you go to places often enough, you will see familiar faces before long, because blokes will return to places they know they have seen you, incase you return, good luck, x

[betty_boop]

This is a nice thought but (as a UK size 10, US size 6) men were not intimidated by the competition - there wasn't any! And I look at my average sized women friends and they're not getting any attention, and find it hard to hold on to a guy. Me now (as a UK size 6, US size 2), I have the quieter men staring at me, and the confident ones chatting me up. I was UK size 10 for just a over two years so, and although male friends talked to me - it was about girls they DID fancy, not me.

[stubbsy]

Hmm that's really strange, because a six in the uk is classed as unhealthy, and if you look at the reviews mrs beckham gets about her size, its not nice compared to someone say demi moores 10, so although I don't experience it from your eyes, with what I see, most men like petite but curvy or toned, but skinny really has a majority view as unhealthy, which is why the mags in England are shooting perfect 10's again instead of sizes below, because girls were becoming ill anything below uk 10, x

[betty_boop]

it's rare that a celebrity is a UK size 10... Demi's been in the papers for her recent weight loss - maybe she was a size 8 once, but like v beckham, she is now a UK size 4 -so I'm not that bad! And my BMI does fit into healthy. All the models you see in mags are size 0-6. so I guess that is what men like. It's a pity, that's all.

[stubbsy]

Fair comment, you sound as if you know what your talking about, I was just on the opinion the men didn't like skinny, as I sure dont. A size 12 looks amazing as does a 10 but any smaller, I think there's room for improvement, but like you say, your body is healthy, not just skinny, so you have a body that would turn many heads in my world, it sounds close to perfect, its a shame you experience different attentions, but you have talent, it won't go unnoticed, x

[Anonymous]

Hun, I'm going to be honest as you requested.

The magazines say men hate skinny girls because it is often girls who are not skinny who are writing those articles. They are trying to make themselves and other girls who aren't skinny feel better about their bodies by suggesting that men don't like skinny women anyway. Now of course, every man is different and has different traits he's attracted to. So there may be men out there who don't prefer skinnier women. Yet at the end of the day, if he's smart and she's correct for him, he'll take her anyway.

Men seem to like girls with a tiny waist and plump breasts and a plump butt. Seriously hun, don't worry about guys like that because they usually don't even have their own bodies together and they have no place to be so critical over women anyway!

[jourdenne]

so, so true. the media will tell you it isn't to be populist and please the 95% of women reader who aren't skinny (kind of ironic given they subliminally tell us to be super thin). But it is. Skinny is seen now as plump was 300 years ago - a sign of class, intellect, success, discipline and wealth. Men want to have a women they can a) show off to other men and b) they think will pass on the best traits to offspring. Of course, because most women aren't skinny, most men won't get skinny girlfriends and are aware from the out set they won't. I have no doubt those men think they're other half is the most beautiful thing in the world - but skinny the ultimate trophy in terms of initial attraction. I'm sure this will change around again in centuries to come - annoyed I won't be there to enjoy the nutella.

[Summer-Sun]

Hmm... I'm really not sure about this...

I think all guys are different, I'm a curvy uk size 14 and I get loads of attention from guys, quite a lot just want to sleep with me, but hey its attention haha! So I don't really think its a weight issue.. I know you have said about getting more attention when you are slimmer, but maybe you were more confident and giving off a different sense if you get me?

Also, it can depend on hormone levels too, so maybe when you were a little slimmer you were giving off more hormones or something like that?

I could of made that up but I'm sure mens attraction has something to do with hormones/when we are on our period/etc etc etc! x

[Anonymous]

I was 60 lbs heavier than I am now. The extra weight made me lethargic, it changed the way I moved, it certainly changed the way I dressed - I wore oversized sweat shirts and army fatigues. I was a mess. I was invisible to women. Can't say I blame them.

I got tired of being fat, lost weight (learned how to eat correctly) and worked out, going from pear to V shaped. And guess what - attention from the ladies! So it's not just guys liking thin girls, there's also women who like trim, fit guys as well.

There's an ideal hip to waist ratio for women that attracts males (0.7), and there's an ideal shoulders to waist ratio for men that attracts women. These are very old instinctive mating triggers. link

[betty_boop]

last guy I liked was around that much overweight. But he also had fantastic eyes, amazing broad shoulders and strong arms- basically weight wasn't the be all and end all for me, so I guess I just wish guys felt the same. I mean when I was UK size 10 (US size 6), that's just an average weight and not unhealthy in any way. Oh well, I admit it's more fun to be tiny again, but that's purely due to the way men treat me now.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't you feel more nimble and able to move through the world more gracefully when you're thinner?

[jamsdoty42k]

to be honest I don't have a lot of guy friends, I grew up with all girls, but back to what you asked, I'm a guy who likes a girl with curv, when I see a skinny girl I think that I might break her if I hug her to hard, and if guys stop seeing you because you put on a couple sizes I only have two words for them...F*** EM! your perfect no matter what always remember that

[AustinMan]

I hate to say this but it sounds like the evidence speaks for itself. If you want the guys sniffing around a lot, size 6 it is. Barbie was made as an extreme example of what men have wanted since there were men. It's an unreasonable expectation but if a girl happens to have that kind of outrageously smokin' hot body, who's to complain? In your description, size 6 sounds really curvy and size 10 not so much. What's not to understand?

[betty_boop]

yes. at least year honest. I'm just a bit shell shocked that men would suddenly treat me like a goddess JUST because I'm size 6 again. It's a bit depressing, and takes away the value of it. One day I'll get fatter (say in my 50s) and they'll ignore me again. The attention seems worthless.

[AustinMan]

You're 24 or less by the system. The standards change a lot over the years and maybe by then you'll be with your forever guy and you'll stay a size 6 just for him.

[Anonymous]

I honestly prefer girls who really are quite "straight" with fewer curves. I'm very thin and always have been along with most of my family (sister is a size 0 and I have the same BMI as she does). I just feel awkward being a skinny rail and then being with a girl who is a lot bigger than me.

[Opinion Owner]

Actually, I have also noticed the curvier girls don't want to be with me either. They have said they feel awkward when they're larger than me and feel like they could pick me up! I have some slightly heavier friends who also go for slightly heavier girls. Maybe people in general end up with people who are similar to themselves?

[betty_boop]

i've noticed that too - skinny men, always seem to want a girl even skinnier than them! That's fine ...I guess it's just a shame that weight matters so much somehow. you'd think other factors would have balanced things out a bit. but that's not really the case!

[Opinion Owner]

I have actually tried to date girls who were curvy. I thought they were great girls and figured we should hang out. Though I prefer thinner girls, personality plays a huge role too. However, it seems weight plays somewhat of a role for women too; women seem to not like men who are smaller than they are. I've had to adjust who I look for based on this. I've had more success with skinnier girls, so I now look for skinnier girls simply because I feel like I have more of a chance.

[betty_boop]

It's true; women often want a guy that's bigger than them. the last guy I liked was 3-4 stone overweight. no one could accept that. I thought he was beautiful. shame about his personality though! ;-P

[sarahruth]

I was eating ice cream while reading this and now I don't want it anymore ! :(

[Thatguy321]

Hahaha

[KERMlT]

I would rather you get a bit bigger actually. Personally I enjoy curvy women and I love the female British accent. :)

[Dominique_7]

As opposed to the male British accent? ;)

[KERMlT]

A male British accent doesn't do anything for me. So yeah, there is a big ;-) difference.

[noobseaplenty]

I like girls with curves, but what is curves? How do you look? Post a picture of yourself before and I will give you an honest opinion on you. It also depends on your body type. Best thing to do is post photo

[betty_boop]

whole reason I'm asking online is to remain anonymous. already have men telling me in person what they think of my body - wanted to get a general view on whether curves thing was a bit of a myth. yes I have a curvy bum and bust when I'm size 6, but everything else is very slender and that doesn't seem to be considered "curvy" people tell me I'm very slim. Obviously when I'm size 10 the proportions stay the same so I just flat out don't believe men like medium sized women.

[skinnyriblover1]

For me and 50% of my mates, skinny is sexy. A cute, petite or athletic girl with big or even tiny boobs will get the 'wow look at her' than the sized 10 girl 'next door'. The other 50% genuinely prefer more meat on the bone but there are LOADS of girls like that. Way fewer hot skinny girls like yourself,hence the attention!

Do you like it? :-)

[sapientiamagna]

Because we are programmed by millions of years of evolution to seek out healthy mates who are not already carrying a competitor's child. Both of those factors draw men to somewhat narrower waists, as well as muscle definition (in most cases).

[ShaeNielson]

Biologically speaking, a size 10 would probably be more attractive than a size 6. She needs enough fat on her body for both her and the child to survive (seen from an evolutionary perspective)

[why-makoto-kun]

Meh I'm a size 2, MAYBE 4 and still was told by a boyfriend I could stand to lose 10 pounds. You can't please everyone.

[shareeny]

hmmm think it depends how you carry yourself and your weight...

[Anonymous]

I have a question I am a size 12 now is that fat cuse my husband hasn't look at me the way he use to when I was a size 8

[Anonymous]

It's simply more attractive. Well generally speaking.

[Keyspirits]

Petite cuties are always better 😘

[Anonymous]

…You stopped traffic?