How do I get her to leave me alone?

[Anonymous]

There is this girl I work with that I socialize with occasionally. Sometimes its casual conversation, work related, small talk or a joke or two. We only talk if I'm passing by to do something work related. She works in another department. Everyone talks to everyone at work but for whatever reason she just thinks I'm so "cool" or she thinks we are BFFs for some reason.

Instead of calling me or emailing me or using the work I'M she always leaves her desk to visit my office to talk to me and its like I'm in high position aka I'm mostly busy and I don't time to be interrupted 50 x a day.

Now I'm noticing she is starting to text me and add me on Facebook. I've never replied to her texts and I declined her on Facebook. Other people talk to her at work but I don't know why she seems to bug me a lot.

Its really starting to be smothering and just because I joke around with people at work doesn't mean I want to be your personal friend especially if I've never initiated anything outside of work.

Also don't say she's gay because she's not and neither am I. I just assume she doesn't have normal social skills/ettiquette and/or latches on too quick.

How do I get her to understand without being mean or blunt.

[pepper01]

i had a girl at school who was like that. all I did was pass her and said "hi" she felt as if I was her best friend. she would follow me, sit by me, ask to hang out,etc I one day told her I was creeped out by it and that we werent friends I just said "hi" by being nice. it took her about 2 years to get the hint and even then she still would stare. honestly be honest and upfront. some people can be obeseed so you need to stand your ground. people like that are very easily posessive. good luck to you :)

[Asker]

I want to be blunt but I do have to work with her on projects from time to time and mgmt is a real stickler on being rude/mean at work.

[pepper01]

you don't have to be rude with her. you can be blunt and let her know how you feel. you both can still work together and have no bad blood but she's going to keep doing it if you don't let her know. you can also talk to your boss and tell them you are going to talk to her about the situation just to be safe. you, your boss and your coworker can sit down and talk together using your boss or another employee as the middle ground.

[Asker]

My boss sees her how she is and he doesn't say anything. He's the type to handle stuff when he sees a problem happening.

I'm thinking of just limiting contact and just being civil. No more socializing just small talk

[pepper01]

well good luck in whatever you choose

[joe243]

just talk to her and try not to be rude when you say it but just say listen what ever your name is we can be friends but I'm just really busy I don't have time to waste socializing I have to get to work you could say something like that

[Asker]

That's the thing I don't mind socializing with her when I'm passing by... everyone socializes with her too but she always bugs me a lot. She just doesn't get that there's a time and place to talk and if people are busy don't bug them.

[joe243]

then let her know that and if it upsets you then talk to her about it if you end up being mean to her about it then oh well better then lieing and putting a smile on your face pretending everything is all right

[Asker]

I think I'm going to just limit it to small talk

[joe243]

ya that would good