Is it suspicious if...

[Anonymous]

My ex told me we when broke up that he wouldn't date anyone else until I was ready. We are still friends but he gets really weird when it comes to his email and messages. Before we broke up I snooped through his messages because he had started acting weird when he was checking his email and such. I found out he had been seeing a girl and lying about her. I told him I went through his stuff and that I knew about the girl and he claimed she was only a good friend even though when I asked him about time I knew they went out together his answers really didn't fit.

Now she is out of his life for a mysterious reason and has been showing more interest in me and things are almost like they were when we were together. Now he is acting weird again when he is chatting to people and I am nearby and if his email is open he doesn't want me around his computer. I know he doesn't trust me cause I went through his stuff before but why does it even matter if he has nothing to hid? It's behaviour like that which makes me more suspicious then anything else.

[skycrashes]

It took me a long time to really get over my ex. At first we were going to remain friends. This almost worked until we started seeing other people. There is just nothing good about the feeling I got when I heard about him and his new girl. Likewise, he was distressed when the guy I was seeing made his way into our conversation. At some point you and he have to decide if you're really over. If it's over, then it's over. You'll just torture yourself if you stick around to watch him make his way in the single/dating world, and you'll prohibit yourself from getting out there too. It's really hard, but the best thing is to stop talking for a while (not necessarily forever, just a while). Extract yourself from his life. Replace the time you would spend worrying about him with something else. Volunteer. Take a dance class. Play a sport. Pick something you like to do and invest some time in it. Get a part time job. Go see some live music. Learn to ride a motorcycle. Play video games. What I'm getting at is, put some energy into getting over it instead of putting your energy in obsessing over it.

[browolf]

it's harder to accept when you can't think of any rational explanation that melds what he's said with what he's done.

it might be that the good stuff he says and does is an illusion hiding a self-centered inner core. It's probably not even wilful. he's just grown up wrong, learnt to get stuff he has to behave in a certain way, say the "right" things. thus his connection to you means a lot less to him than yours does to him. All you can say in these circumstances, is good thing you found out sooner rather than later.

[palek]

you say that he's your ex, but then you say that he promised not to date anyone until you were ready. ex means ex, and you no longer have any claim to each other. if he was involved with other women when you were together then you did right to make him your ex. if by ex you mean ex husband, then you need to get him to seek couselling with you, otherwise it may be time to go your own ways. if love is involved then you'll be back together again

[AJtogo]

He's up to his old tricks again. But you guys are broke up, so he can do whatever he wants. He may have said that he will wait until you're ready, but he's changed his mind and there's nothing wrong with that. What's wrong is that you guys are obviously still in heavy contact even though you're broken up.

[browolf]

Why did you let him back in your life if you believed he had cheated on you?

[Asker]

We were close, he was my best friend and I wanted to believe he was being honest with me. It is just really hard to accept someone you can about and who you thought cared about you would hurt you like that.