It's too much! what do I do! I am busy but jealous or what?

[Anonymous]

I've tried it all...I am confident, I am clean, I am pretty, I am smart, I am funny, I keep myself uber busy to get my mind off of it (works for the most part), I hang out with friends, I did have one boyfriend but it sucked because he never did anything in the relationship..barely and he was boring and lazy as hell, my Mom keeps saying it is easy to not let it bother me, I have thought about how silly it is, I know that I shouldn't care, but AHHHH! I WANT A f***ING BOYFRIEND! WHY CAN'T I GET ONE! And the more I think about it...the more I see couples holding hands and cuddling around me, beside me, behind me, everywhere! How do I stop caring? My Mom makes it sound so easy. How do I keep focused like I'm doing but not let it bother me? Has anyone succeeded at this? How do I walk past couples I'm jealous of and not get thin breath and feel like a big loser, and feel my eyes dilate. :(( It's painful! How can I stop caring about having a boyfriend until I get one? Guys don't flirt with me, they don't ask me out, they don't ask for my number...they don't don't DON'T...nada! Make it stop! :((( HELP! I'm so sick of feeling like a loser because I can't get a boyfriend. :'( How do you just stop caring?

[MrOracle]

Want a boyfriend? Let me tell you how:

Be more outgoing and get involved in social groups. When you are hanging out with a bunch of people, get involved in the conversations, laugh, and have a good time. Most importantly, let OTHER PEOPLE see you laughing, having a good time, and being involved. It will make you seem MUCH more approachable, plus guys are much more likely to notice you if you are getting involved and participating in the conversation, and you'll be much more attractive personality-wise if they see you having a good time.

Since you want a boyfriend, keeping yourself busy "so you don't think about guys" is a poor strategy. It would be good if you DIDN'T want a boyfriend, but you do, so you have to do things that will get guys to notice you and be attracted to you, but also not too intimidated to approach you.

When you see guys looking at you, or if they start talking to you or flirting with you, THEY ARE INTERESTED, but they also need you to show some interest in them, or they assume you aren't interested, so they'll never take the risk of asking you out. You've got to pay attention, and to respond when guys make the effort to pay you some attention, or they'll give up and move on to another girl.

Try this for a month, and I bet you'll have a totally different experience.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice. :) This part really grabbed me = "Since you want a boyfriend, keeping yourself busy 'so you don't think about guys' is a poor strategy" = I thought it would work the best...lol...never mind then. But how do I let them know I'm interested...do I just ask them if they want to hang out somewhere together or tell them I like them?...because being friendly and laughing and outgoing and witty and pretty (heh heh), and all that doesn't seem to be doing much...

[MrOracle]

You have to give them more PERSONAL attention. Do all the stuff you already do (it's GOOD!), but don't be afraid to hug a guy, or touch his hand or arm when you talk to him. Walk across the room to start talking to him. And make sure you're ONLY doing this stuff for the one guy you like. All of those things will send a clearer message that you ARE interested in him (and ONLY him). That will give him confidence to approach you and ask you out.

[MrOracle]

Of course, if you can just TELL them how you feel, you will save yourself a lot of time. Either they like you back or they don't, and either way, you'll know what to do from there.

[Asker]

THANK YOU! :)

[cavmanier]

Just try and not let the emotions you have consume you, it's all mental. If guys don't flirt or talk to you make yourself more available or talk to them.

[Asker]

I do try...but sometimes it's SOOOOOO hard. :/ but thank you. :)

[Anonymous]

Realize that all men are worthless and a waste of time unless you're horny. Tends to work pretty well for me lol.

[cavmanier]

: |

[djhohrath]

Im not your ex, a**hole, id get you flowers and hold the door but now f*** you.

[Opinion Owner]

I never asked you to get me flowers and hold the door f*****.

[Asker]

LMAO! I suppose that would make me not care so much about them...until I get a guy...but I'd have to pretend that is true...since I don't fully believe that about all guys..heh heh. but uh..thanks for the advice...I guess. ;P Wow...those boys below...cannot take a joke..heh heh...butthurt much? it's okay guys! you can't all possibly be worthless! xD

[Opinion Owner]

Lol some people just take life WAY to seriously! But yea, don't worry about having a boyfriend so much. I was single for several years, watched all my friends get bfs then engaged then married. Whilst I'm stuck dating douchbag after douchbag. But then I quit looking and stopped caring so much about having a boyfriend. Then a really awesome guy kinda popped into my life and now were together :) it'll happen, just be patient! :))

[Asker]

Thanks! =)..and this is funny..but your method actually works.."men are worthless...horny"...hahaha...I think about it when I get jealous of other couples...and then it makes me smile and laugh to myself...obviously that is not true of every guy..heh heh...but it helps and makes me feel better because I laugh a little. so thanks for that..haha. XD