How do I bring up gluttony?

Question

This friend of mine was asking me to help her with incentive to lose weight. Jokingly I said for every 5 lbs. you lose I will let you sleep with me. She jokingly said I think that's all the incentive I need,lol...

That got me thinking about my girlfriend. She is a bit over weight not unbearable. She eats unhealthy and has health issues one with stomach as well as migraines/stress ect.. I am very concerned because her mother who is extremely over weight. Diabetic she's had toes already removed been on dialysis.etc.. when their both together the talk about food.

It's disgusting. I run a bakery and they both came in and damn near bought us out. I wasn't there other wise I would have said something hurtful. It is so hard to be subtle about this issue. they are killing themselves slowly right in front of me... Anyway if it wasn't for the health issues I wouldn't care as much and even tho my girl is not as big or sick as her mother she's well on her way and doesn't see it. So what are some ways I could ? Because if this goes on much longer than I'm leaving her... I will not be apart of watching someone kill them selves. BTW: the other day she told me she made biscuits all excited about them. I said do you really think you should be eating biscuits? she got very sensitive and snapped out! I didn't care she needs to wake up.

She loves my intimacy maybe I should bribe her ? lol

Marawa · Accepted Answer

It depends on which route you want to go, talking about a girl's weight can be very difficult and upsetting. And you seem like you care for her, make sure she knows that and DO NOT BRIBE HER.

One route, you can talk to her mother and try and enlighten her on your situation. She's being a bad role model if she has diabetes and all those problems yet she isn't talking to her daughter about them. Tell her that her daughter's health is very important to you and you would be sad if anything happened to her. Let her know it's something you worry about. If she doesn't take you seriously, scrap this route. If she does, try and work with her to tell your girlfriend.

Another route, you can just tell your girlfriend and make sure she knows you love her but you're concerned for her. Be understanding if she isn't ready to talk about it just yet and understand that it may be something she wants to tackle alone. Sometimes people are in denial and don't think they have a problem, a lot of the time they are fully aware of it and don't need to be reminded.

Another thing you could possibly do is subtly mention her weight to her although I would avoid this route altogether as you mentioned in the biscuit incident. Women in general are always touchy when it comes to weight. Even when there is no problem, because the media makes it difficult for you to love yourself for who you are.

Good luck.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

As someone who has lost a great deal of weight myself, I think the most important thing you should try to remember is that bribes, pressuring, etc. just doesn't work. I was tortured about my weight from everyone I knew for many years, even family, and I never lost the weight until I wanted to do it for me. People with weight issues eat for a reason, and until the real reason is addressed, nothing YOU do can make her change her lifestyle. It will just have to come from her.

Tearen · Accepted Answer

This requires a very gentle hand, but the bottom line is that you obviously care about her very much. This needs to be the foundation for any way you approach her about her eating habits, otherwise she's probably assume you're doing it because you think she's ugly/fat/etc.

Anyway, it would be best if you had a good long talk about how you're concerned about her health and you want her to eat better. It's not going to be a pleasant talk, and it will also probably get pretty heated; but this is something very important for your relationship and she should at least understand that part of it. Also, let her know that you're concerned about her mother too; establishing that this is a concern of yours that extends just beyond your immediate relationship will make it seem much less personal.

If things keep going downhill, let her know that you can't stay with her if she's going to be so self-destructive, since it hurts you emotionally to see her do that to herself. This should really only be used as a last resort, however, since it has the potential of backfiring.

AndyWes · Accepted Answer

Well, realize that no matter how you bring it up she'll be pissed. People who are obese are well aware they are lard-asses. Personally, I think the best offer would be to say, "I'll run with you, I'll go to the gym with you, etc."

I did that with a family member who had another health issue, mildly poisoned from freeon. The herb to pull the poison out made her feel horrible. So I said, "Hey, I breathed it in too, here. You take it, I'll take it too."

Anyway, realize your fat girlfriend will be pissed if you bring it up. But if you don't, she'll probably suffer sever health problems and get fatter. So you say something like, "Baby, I love you, but I want you to work with me and we'll both get in better shape. Let's start watching what we eat, and start going on mile walks, working up to better shape."

Fact is, not only does being fatso make diabetes and dialysis a real danger, but obesity makes your risk of the top three killers (cancer, stroke, heart attack) go up like a bottle rocket.

sinfulangel · Answer

DUDE. You have got to be way more sensitive about this issue. You shouldn't tell her to lose weight in any way or else you will be skating on even thinner ice. Take it from a woman, do not tell her to lose weight. You can build up to this idea with only implying you would like her to lose. Seeing as her mother is in bad health due to her weight, the best way to imply is to bring this up. Express great fear and concern for YOUR future and HER health. You don't wanna lose her too like her mother! So, that where your real fear stems from isn't it? You are worried. Express this and she will either want to change all on her own, or continue with what's easy. That five pounds get to sleep with you has got to be one of the worst ways to get a woman to lose weight. Sorry. But good luck!

DrumNB4ssDubst3p · Answer

People here are ****s, you're totally reasonable and you should show your girlfriend some health educational sh*t and give her an ultimatum. All these girls here are extremely selfish and expect you to sacrifice your life and your standards for some girl because a lot of girls just see men this way.

Put your foot down and give zero slack, its one her health and two your sexual attraction to her. There are other girls out there that will be happy you're worried about their health, why waste time with someone who disrespects you instead

hotcaribbeanbarbie · Answer

I have that same problem. I have a friend who wants a body like mine and everyday she is like oh my god how do you get your body like that, yet she eats like a friggin pig. Huge meals three times a day, I tried telling her that she needs to go on a diet but I think she loves food too much.

I even gave her my work out video but that does not make a difference because as she finish working out se is off to KFC.

rougecerise · Answer

In my opinion this is the wrong approach. It sounds as if she could have an addiction to food. If you bring it up to her that way, it'll end up negative for everyone involved.

Try talking to her, focus on the negatives health-wise, and DO NOT BLAME her. Tell her you enjoy her company and you want her to be around for a while longer and you're just worried about her health and weight. Let her know that you guys are in this together and you'll eat healthy with her, exercise with her, and support her.

Taking away sex for her to lose weight isn't the right way to go about this.

RedSmartie · Answer

That's a major d*** move, withholding intimacy in order to force your girlfriend to lose weight. That sends her the message: "you're so undesirable that I don't even want to touch you."

I think the best thing to do is to tell her that you're concerned for her health and well being, and help and encourage her to lose weight. And participate. Diet when she diets and exercise with her. But don't say it to her in a rude way or tell her that she's fat. If you do that, I hope she slaps you in the face and walks right out.

kmhco · Answer

You should offer to cook her dinner a couple of times a week or more. That way you can encourage her to eat healthier (by providing healthy foods) at least a few times a week. Also, try to come up with physical activities to do for dates like rock climbing, tennis, dance, ice skating, etc.

DrumNB4ssDubst3p · Answer

if you think about it, if she loses 5 lbs, then has sex with you, she will probably lose about 3 or 4 lbs from that sex, so then she only has to lose one more lb... its a very good cycle!

Anonymous · Answer

you should dump her.

why? cause she deserves someone better than you.

you can't diss "fat" girls and not think the same about your girlfriend. that's just been hypocritical.

and the fact that you talk about sleeping with other people doesn't help. maybe you aren't attracted to her anymore hence why you think like that. if that is the case then stop living a lie and let her go. it would be better for her to not have some jerk dating her yet talking about her like this behind her back.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

You're clowning on overweight food obsessed girls yet you're dating one lol the irony

Not really sure why you're with her as you seem to be disgusted by her and get attitude when someone suggests you be sensitive to her. You should just feed her more sweets from the bakery so she'll get even fatter and you can be even hotter by comparison.

Summers91 · Answer

I'm not over weight.. but damn. You're a bit of an a**hole. You're going to sleep with another girl if she loses weight? Dump your girlfriend, seriously. You "care" so much about her. Its amazingly obvious.

Anonymous · Answer

does anyone else find it strange that you have a girlfriend yet you were joking about having sex with another girl? just wondering..

as for you question just encourage her by doing it with her. if you really want her to do it then do it too. this way it will take away the urge for her to eat whatever your eating e.g if she's dieting and you aren't then she might want what you are having and not what she is having. go for runs, walks, swimming and cycling.

xzinax2 · Answer

well,you run a bakery,you're bound to attract a certain type of woman.

you can't really tell her to lose weight,just get her to get healthy,the weight will take care of itself. ask her about her mother,her issues,and when she mentions some weight related problem,tell her that she should start a prevention plan-work out with her,cook healthy meals,motivate her

How do I bring up gluttony?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said