Why didn't they acknowledge my birthday?

[Anonymous]

My birthday was last Friday and I went on vacation that week. The norm for people in the company I work for is to get a card and everyone in the company signs it (if possible). Kinda ruins the idea of being nice to people but at least everyone equally gets a card but the people in my department are the ones in the company I'd think are not dramatic and genuinely nice people. Mostly everyone else in the company just acts like high school kids: forming cliques, gossiping about people, venting all the time etc.

When I finally got to work after being gone a week I saw my office decorated like a tornado hit it. So I was happy, until I found out that the people that decorated my office and got me gifts were people in other departments. No one in my department helped or did anything for my birthday.

In fact when I got to work all they said was their normal hello's. Even when they saw my office decorated they didn't say anything, acknowledge it, say "oh happy birthday" or anything. They just acted like the balloons and streamers weren't even there. They didn't even asked who decorated my office. I was quite shocked.

Not that I expected anything from anyone but for them to not even inquire as to who decorated my office or at least say happy birthday was kinda shocking and disappointing enough to kinda overshadow how happy I was that someone did something nice because its not like them to just not acknowledge something.

Why do you think the people who I work with who are one of the nicer people in the company to just totally not acknowledge my birthday. Its not like them, they are usually sweet and generous and humble people.

Any ideas?

Also any ideas on what I should do if anything?

They are embarrased becuase they can't compete with what the other people did

They have unsuccessfully tried to surprise you in other ways before and you didn't acknowledge it so they don't know what to do anymore

They didn't think you'd care about something insignificant

They forgot or thought they did

Other (put in comments)

[mlrock]

I can see this going one of three different ways. I noticed that you pointed out that the people in your department are generally much nicer, less cliquey, and more down-to-earth. I'd like to point out that many, if not most, of those kinds of people are often introverted and/or socially awkward. In which case they may not be good at organizing things on such a grand scale.

On the other hand, is it possible that the people who work in your department are only faking their kindness? That can be a huge difference between the other two, also vacationing during your birthday on a work week may not have been the best exercise of your judgement.

Finally, how long have you been working at the company? If you haven't been there as long as many of the other employees, I can understand why they may have forgotten you. Hope I helped!

[Asker]

i've been there 5 years, they aren't socially awkward either. They are usually the ones who care a lot about each other and do nice stuff for each other.

Its not that they forgot but they just didn't acknowledge it, they saw the decorations, they signed a card that the whole company signs when its your birthday. They just didn't acknowledge anything at all. Didn't say happy birthday, didn't ask who decorated my office, didn't ask how my vacation went. Nothing. Hell they didn't say much to me

[THE_Godfather]

I didn't vote. Only they know why. Maybe they don't like you? Maybe you're not a team player? Maybe you don't...?

As for me nobody knows when my B Day is. I make a point of telling HR or whomever looks to see for cards etc. that my B Day is proprietary information! It was given to them for employment purposes only. It is not to be used like some dog & pony show.

B Day. Big deal, all I did was pop out.

[Asker]

If they secretly don't like me, then they shouldn't act like they do. Besides like I said I didn't expect anything out of anyone but for people who are always the type to do nice things for people cause they are generous and humble they surprisingly didn't even say happy birthday or even inquire how my vacation went or ask about who decorated my office. It shocked me because out of everyone they'd do it. Even my work enemies wished me a happy birthday.

[THE_Godfather]

Something has to be up if " they surprisingly didn't even say happy birthday or even inquire how my vacation went"

That only tells me one thing.

[Asker]

i know that only tells me one thing adn that's I'm confused. Its not like they didn't really talk to me that day. I mean they did but like normal social stuff...as if it was a typical day and its like...sure they signed the normal "card" that everyone gets on their birthday but still its weird. But it would be stupid to say something to them.

[THE_Godfather]

I wouldn't say anything to them. I just wouldn't participate in their B Day's or whatever.

They sure don't sound like friends, even work friends. Your work even my work enemies wished me a happy birthday.

[Asker]

yeah its just so unlike them. I mean my work enemies said happy birthday but my coworkers I work along side with closely every day for years didn't say anything.