What should I do next?

[Anonymous]

My BoyF broke up with me 3 weeks ago after we argued. Within the first day after break up I sent him an email apologizing and said I would like to work on things, but if this is what he wanted I would respect his space. Since then I have not contacted him. However he has left some of his stuff at my house and I would like some resolution. So I sent him an email today, simply saying, "we should talk..." which he responded " I'm not in the mood to talk lately". I would like to work things out with this guy...What should I do next?

[madysa]

it was him who breakup with you, wasn't it?

my guess is he meant what he said. if you still want him back, give him the time and space he needs. only you can tell how generous you can be with this, as this can put you into agony too.

i'd say 1-2 weeks, but it's really up to you.

then contact him again and see how it goes.

if he doesn't change his mind, tell him to get his stuff or you will have them disposed.

(seriously, dispose them. you don't need a reminder of a painful breakup).

a research found that if someone dump us, we will try even harder to get him/her to avoid despair on our side. when this doesn't work out, at the end we (well, most of us) will accept the bitter reality, sunk deep into despair, but eventually cope with it.

i'd suggest you not to take too much time to find your closure. the sooner you have it, the better. then your healing can begin.

good luck.

[longtailjim]

He has internal issues unrelated to you. Unable to get past adolescent hurts in his past. Can't deal with you without sucking his thumb and licking his wounds for 3 weeks. It would be great if there were an "undo" button for issues like this, but there isn't. Past wounds have to be surfaced so they can be dealt with, and life can move on. Be the adult in the room and do what needs doing. Don't be his therapist or nursemaid. He's got to pay a price for his immaturity. Don't go dumpster diving if you think he's the cream of your available crop. You'll get a duplicate next tme around if so.

[TheUglyOne]

You did what you could, you extended a peace offering. It's on him to accept and open dialog, which he did not. There's really not much more you can do, but wait. Try again in a week or so. Let him know he's left some things at your place, that might give you a chance to see him face to face again if he wants to get them.

[PromeDr13]

Hit the nail on the head.

[JohnWhilkins]

Though I like westman74's idea I don't think you owe him paying for him to get his stuff back.

If the stuff is annoying you then give him a deadline to get his sh*t and get out but I reckon you want to talk it through ;)

[Ubetiburn]

You made the attempt. Now bow out by giving him one last chance. Tell him that you would like to talk. To be at your place at a certain time. If he does not want to show up - let him know that his stuff will be left on the curb.

At your age, he is acting immature by not wanting to talk about it.

Get yourself a man not a boy.

[westman74]

my advice... Box his stuff up and send it to him UPS. Then give it time. He sounds very hurt or angry. Sometimes time is the best gift you can give. Also you don't want to look like a stalker...

[alecroks]

Sometimes it is better to leave things unsaid and walk away, he is clearly upset about this. If you want to talk to him to cool off some heat between you two, then try and find him some place where he cannot easily get away, and no, not work!

[MrOracle]

Put his stuff in a box and let him know that if he wants it, to come and talk to you within (reasonable deadline, like a week). If not, toss that box of his stuff in the trash and move on.

[Anonymous]

Drop his stuff off at his house and leave him alone.

[TheDigitalSaint]

What did you fight over and why did you break up?

[AllyBabe03]

get new one,lol :P