How can I stop worrying ill get led on or hurt again?

[Anonymous]

So basically I got out of a situation a few months ago where a man really led me on and hurt my feelings. I mean true deception and lies. I met a new guy who gives me those butterflies...but how can I stop worrying that he will do the same? If we go even three days without talking I get all worried and nervous...and honestly I'm not one of those crazy girls...just really hurt from this last guy. Ik I'm ready to move on and this new guy is great...but I have to stop worrying so much...what can I do?

[Anonymous]

You need to not revolve you life around this new guy. I have been where you are and it is hard to trust again but you have to give this new guy the benefit of doubt. He is not your ex so you can't expect the same results from him.

If you two have been dating for awhile and feel comfortable talking to him about how you are feeling I would let him know because maybe he doesn't even know that not texting you to even just say hey is driving you crazy.

You could even just start telling him goodnight and eventually it will become a thing you two do and that way you at least hear from him everyday.

Just remember he's not your ex so don't punish him for what your ex did by getting constantly worried if you don't hear from him. If he hasn't given you a reason not to trust him then you have to work hard to trust him.

When you get angsty come on here and answer questions. You'll get points and pass time. :)

Best of luck!

[lumos]

Don't let the past affect you. It's in the past for a reason. I'm not telling you to blindly believe every man that enters your life, but neither should you be overly suspicious. Whenever you get those "crazy" thoughts, just push them away with positive thoughts. If things start getting serious with this new guy, tell him that you're still insecure over that other guy who hurt you, but also tell him that you're really working on it. That way he'll know why you might behave in certain ways in the future etc.

[Anonymous]

Wow majr props to you. Because most girls that are hurt keep that sh*t to themselves and it affects their current relationship or future ones. It's good your talking about it, and I think you should bring it it up. But you should never compare neither of them... Don't worry that much and have a blast... If it's meant to be, then time will tell! Don't rush

[Asker]

Thanks...he does know how badly I was hurt, but I don't want him to think I doubt him because really deep down its not him I doubt but me...its hard to think your good enough for such a great guy when you were demeaned so badly by the last. I'm working on my insecurties everyday because I don't want to ever push away or punish any new guy because how horrible the last was. I know I trusted a bad egg, but that doesn't mean they all are. I do agree what is ment to be will and I'm taking what I have with this new

[Asker]

Guy day by day and going with the flow...I just struggle to not worry at all because he is so great and I fear I'll fall for him and get my hear ripped out again.

[Anonymous]

try to calm down and take it one step at a time and don't compare them.

[Asker]

I'm calm lol just wonder uk? I definitly do not compare them at all there is no comparison lol but still scary liking someone after such a horrible experience.

[sfauo]

Your worry should be caution.

Worrying is just thinking up all these different scenarios when you lie in bed at night. Does nothing.

Caution is being aware of how things are going, trusting your gut, knowing when to say no.

[Asker]

Totally agree :) I'm working on not worrying as best I can!