If you have a fat friend who is a girl and she loses a bunch of weight, will your image of her change?

I have a group of friends, a lot of which are guys. One guy in paticular, I have a big crush on. I would try and pursue a fling already...but I'm fat and I know he finds that unattractive. Who doesn't right? Other than that, I really think we could be something. We are really good friends. We talk about things and have inside jokes with each other, etc.

Well I have decided to lose a bunch of weight (I have already lost 30 pounds) but I am super worried that even if I lose weight, I will still be seen by all of the guys as "the fat girl".

I need a guys opinion.



Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it depends on the person but for someone like me, it wouldn't change my view of you. It should be noted that I'm a very big stickler on weight. I take a lot of pride in my health and being overweight is the biggest turn off for me.

    When I see a young girl (aprox under 30) who is overweight, whether she ends up losing the weight or not. I have to question her lifestyle and how she got that way. Your at prime age for your health so if you can't keep your weight off when your young, that tells me its going to be a constant struggle your entire life when it only gets tougher due to genetics.

    Similar to the previous issue, I would be worried she is going to get fat again. Clearly she doesn't have the best genes, the best life style or both. If 10yrs later, life kicks in, she starts working more, has kids, etc. and doesn't find the same kind of time to hit the gym 5 days a week and gets fat again, its going to be a big issue for me.

    I know I sound shallow, but its just my preference that I can't help. I just have zero tolerance for being overweight. I normally have very realistic standards of women, but this is one thing that is a real deal breaker for me. Maybe part of this is because I'm not exactly a huge guy. I'm short and fit (not buff, just athletic like a soccer player), so I need a small petite girl otherwise it just makes for an awkward dynamic. I don't want a girl who looks like she is overall twice my size.


What Guys Said 22

  • Perhaps, yes.

    However I suspect you'll need to go further in losing weight before people who knew you the old way will 'see' and process the change. New people will respond well to you first.

  • I'm going to put my personal shallow side into this and say that yeah, I would view her differently. But , again I know this is shallow to say, if you are really obese and after losing 30 lbs you will still be pretty obese then his view of you might change. But I recommend losing it healthily and not starving yourself, keep losing the weight, really really try not to go anorexic looking (I have a female friend who went from fat to anorexic and could only get guys during the in between. Guys don't like emaciated), and keep being friends with this guy. Of course if you keep losing weight you will run into the problem of suitors coming out of the woodwork, which actually I don't know if that is really a bad problem to have

  • Personally: you are my friend though you are fat is cause I like you as a friend so you are :)

    Now if you lose weight I'll ensure I'll compliment you (I will even criticize you if there's something wrong - but not on weight if you are fat owing to genetics or biological reasons), but my opinion about you will not change since I already have a good opinion about you which is why you are my friend in 1st place :)

    And if you are losing weight etc also shape up + do it for yourself not to impress anyone (most time it's not worth doing it for anyone but self)

  • If I have a fat friend & she looses the weight: yes ma'am!

    But keep loosing the weight.

    Also, look out for loosing too much weight. What I mean by this is don't turn bulimic or anorexic or something.

    Just loose the weight until you are trim & tone.

    You should lose the weight for more than just his attention. You should also do this for you. If his attention goes somewhere else, you don't want to get all depressed & gain back al the weight.

    And I have to warn you though: if he doesn't know he could get into a relationship while you lose the weight.

    Be sure of his feelings.

    Also, there are many fish in the sea if it doesn't work out.

  • If a girl is fat and then she loses weight and drops down into a range I'd like to pursue, then yes.

    Game on.

  • Don't lose weight for him or for anyone. Do it for yourself. You obviously have a low self esteem. Losing weight could give you the confidence to try liking someone else

  • Keep losing the weight...but don't do it for a guy...do it because it's the healthy thing to do. Even if you slim down, there is no guarantee that he'll see you that way.

  • One thing you could try is just don't really hang out with them that much (you can still talk to them) but then when you feel you have lost enough weight you should get all dolled up for the first time you see the group of guys. (I mean like look pretty but not like you are trying too hard if you know what I mean) Anything else?

  • its really about her personality. Fat or Skinny a Bitch is still a Bitch.

  • she is my frnd and I would always be nice to her and if I want to judge her I would do so in terms character and attitude ...but yes, losing weight makes a girl confident enough and enhances her overall well being

  • It will make you more attractive in general, but it's not a guarantee that it will make you more attractive specifically in his eyes. Body fitness is only one component of attractiveness.

    Keep losing weight for your own health and to attract guys in general. Don't get too obsessed with attracting this one guy.

  • I might wanna bang her, but in terms of considering her for something long-term, I wouldn't be able to get that fat image out of my mind. Many people put on the weight again. Especially women will tend to lose weight and exercise when they are out of a relationship. Then once they get their hooks in you, they put on the weight and chop their hair.

    You know the old joke, "what food causes women to gain the most weight?... wedding cake."

  • Me personally in most cases no.but it also depends on the girl too.if her personality changes and she's very confadent about herself an the way she carries herself then yeah I could deff have a diff image about her.she would just have to be very confadent about herself. But that's just me baby gir.other guys may feel diff then I do about that ya know.

    Anyway good luck boo!

  • It's not a guarantee, but it could work

  • Yes. And it won't be just him, other guys too.

    But don't lose the weight for HIM, lose it for YOU. If it doesn't work out with him, you may get depressed. But you won't because you'll be smokin and there's all those other guys ;)

  • If it is something that he is worried about then it will shape his view of you. Since losing weight is a gradual process he probably won't notice it at first and new people and people you don't see often will notice a thinner you first. Personality is still a major part of people of all sizes. You need to be comfortable with yourself.

  • why? a little fat/bulk girls are sweety for me.. I spent very good and funny times 2 girls in bulk..

  • No matter what anyone looks like shoudlnt matter. Yes it does to some but really its what's inside that counts.

  • Maybe. I would be really proud of her. Guys will definitely notice and they will probably be damn, she's starting to look pretty hot!

  • I got to say I would defiantly notice a female friend that lost a lot of weight, it's also very shallow and horrible of me, but I know I would take notice. But lose the weight for yourself, to be healthier, and to give you the opportunity to live a longer life, not a guy.

  • If he has interest in you from a romantic standpoint, the weight loss will only make him take more notice. I question the loyalty of a man who wouldn't date you when you were on the heftier side, but undoubtedly, if there is interest - there will be more of it now.

    Whether you remain the fat girl in the eyes of the others is of no concern.


What Girls Said 4

  • A friend of mine met the love of her life, and after they dated for a while, she got motivated to lose a bunch of weight. I think she ended up losing around 80 pounds... she looked GREAT. But once she did, her guy friends started flirting with her and showing interest. Of course, she rejected them and stayed with her boyfriend because he was great enough to love her while she looked like a pumpkin. :)

    I guess my answer, then, is yes. If you lose weight, guys will start showing more interest.

  • I lost 100lbs and my life changed. Everyone started treating me differently.

    The people who were nice to me before got really mean and the people who were mean to me when I was large started being nice.

    It's upsetting :(

  • I say when you near your goal weight get a style makeover. Dress hot, but not slutty. See if you notice him looking at you differently and go from there...

  • Congratulations on your weight loss :-)

    My guy friends didn't change when I lost weight. They were happy for me and told me I was looking great, but they didn't treat me any different. I did lose some female friends though.

    My friends never saw me as "the fat girl" anyway, I was just me. I labeled myself that, but they didn't. They didn't care.

    • well those "friends" that took off really werent friends to begin with. they just used you for whatever selfish purpose. people piss me off

    • Yeah, I was just the ugly friend to make the pretty ones look prettier. I wasn't competition, so they hung out with me for those reasons sometimes. Oh well, good riddance.