Do some guys have a thing that they want to take care of a younger woman?

[Anonymous]

do some guys like to play that role with a younger woman?

i ask because my adviser at school seems to have his eye out for me and I know many of his other students and he does not do this to them.

he is about 10 years older than me so he's not really old at all, but definitely more advanced than I am.

he always talks to me outside the office but I know many of his other students and he never chats them up outside the office.

he is just very sweet and caring towards me. like how is my day going, how was my weekend, how was my test, how did my report go, all that stuff.

he could just be nice, I know. but I know he does not do this to other students. he also sends me emails wishing me good luck if he knows I have an assignment for class (and it is not anything related to his job) and we talk about more personal things like about his life and mine. smile and laugh together a lot.

could he have his eye out for me in some sort of way? maybe he just has a soft spot for me or concern for me?

Updates

+1 y

Could he at least be attracted to me?

[chrisbigman]

It's possible either way. It's hard to say with what you've said. There's not enough information, in my opinion, to advise. Yes, he could be attracted to you. If he seems to talk to only you, then yes. He very well could be attracted to you, and is hoping you two are friends - and after you graduate, hopes to be more than friends.

As far as do men wan to take care of a younger woman? I suppose that's true, but I think a man could also enjoy taking care of an older woman, too - if possible. But obviously, an older woman is to typically take care of a younger man. Like I said, it's possible either way. It depends on the man (and/or woman) specifically.

[funkipunk]

Yes, many men like to take care of women. This sounds a bit weird though. This guy is your advisor at school and you think he's hitting on you? It sounds more unprofessional than anything else. In my opinion, you should talk to him about making sure he does his job, and not spending so much time trying to flirt with you. That would be the most mature thing in the entire situation

[Asker]

He's not making inappropriate advances just gives me special attention but acts nice.

[funkipunk]

Ok. You know best what's actually happening, so its hard for me to make an accurate judgement

[Anonymous]

i think its because we look sweet and vulnerable and that probably kicks in their protective instinct. I get that a lot too. I also have guys offering to help me, even when I don't ask for help. one of my coworkers tells me I look confused. haha I guess I do. but its kind of nice how he's always looking out for me and tells me to tell him if anyone is being rude to me.

[Dionysos]

You're talking about the "white knight" syndrome where a guy figures he has to rescue or fix a damsel in distress. Eff that. I did it a couple of times without realizing it. Never again. It's not a balanced relationship.

[aMuse]

Some young women are real sweethearts, they are nice people in general, and if they ask for advice or need a friend, I think it's only fair to return the kindness...

[aMuse]

It's possible, but from what you said there are no strong indicators of attraction. You might just be a good student.

[Asker]

What would indicate attraction?

[aMuse]

Well all the taking an interest in you could just be because you are his student, and you are taking an interest in what he does and what he teaches. He has an obbigation as a teacher to make time for you. If you're one of the more engaged students, which it sounds like you are he's going to watch after you more and may try to steer you towards graduate school and provide opertunities for you to excell. So you have to ignore that as a sign right off the bat.

If he were intereted in you he'd

[aMuse]

likely push your boundaries, but leaning in close to you, siting close to you rather then across a desk like a profesional relationship, he'd likely touch you, give you personal compliments not accademic in addition to the academic ones, he'd ask you to get lunch with him and stuff along those lines.

[aMuse]

*by

[AmongTheApples]

I was a TA, and I always got uncomfortable when girls hit on me, even if I liked them. So I can't imagine that this guy would put his career on the line to have a relationship with you.

[Asker]

i don't hit on him..i am always very careful. he often approaches me. he does not act inappropriate at all and I make sure to be appropriate as well. he just acts extra sweet and caring to me compared to his other students, so I wonder if he has some type of spot for me? doesn't necessarily mean sexually or anything. also, I am graduating pretty soon.

[AmongTheApples]

He might like your personality, or you might remind him of someone, or he might like you, but obviously wouldn't pursue anything until you graduate. There are number of reasons for which he might have connected with you.

[Asker]

well we have a lot in common..he even said so. and he's very very sweet and caring towards me, more than others. we talk often. but he always encourages me to come back and said it was good to see me, and I enjoy his company too. but I am always careful because I will admit I have a thing for him and get a sense it could be mutual after a LONG time of close observation, but I wouldn't expect him to do anything now. would he try to when I graduate?

[AmongTheApples]

While he is your advisor, it'd be inappropriate if not downright forbidden by the university, as it was by mine, for him to date you. Once you graduate, however, that restriction no longer applies; so, yes--he very well might.

[Asker]

that would be so great. he isn't one of those flirty types of guys he seems like a genuine good guy, very nice and smart. we like many of the same things and share similar views and all. I don't act too flirty or anything. I do like him so I do smile a lot and maybe flip my hair a bit but I just act kind and friendly and just show an interest in him, ask him about himself, etc. so I try to be just sweet/friendly so I don't give a bad impression or anything.

[AmongTheApples]

Sounds as if you're doing good. After you graduate, if he doesn't pursue, you might have to indicate to him that you're interested, because, since there's a ten year difference, he might think that you wouldn't be interested in him. But, as I said, continue what you're doing for now.

[Asker]

it's a little less than 10 actually like 8 or 9 depending on when his bday is. I'm in my early 20s. and how do I indicate my interest later on? I seriously want to say something along the lines of "i'm going to miss talking to you" when it gets close to graduation, but does that sound dumb? or what do I do? or how do I let him know I am available? now I am just trying to establish a good rapport with him because I just enjoy his company period.

[AmongTheApples]

I'm not sure. I just know that, if he's never dated a girl that much younger than he is, then he might hesitate thinking that you wouldn't be interested in him. I got myself over it by just taking the risk and it worked out.

[Asker]

well if he approaches me in hall, cafe, parking lot, etc while I am a student .. does that mean he would possibly try more when it wasn't against the rules?

[AmongTheApples]

I'm sure that he'll at least approach you as much as he did before you graduated. Once you graduate, just act around him as you would around any other guy that you like.

[Asker]

but once I graduate I won't be in that school anymore...he would have to ask me to meet and talk to me on the phone. I will still live in the same area I am in now though.

[AmongTheApples]

I was afraid of that, and that's a problem lol. You could go on campus to use the library from time to time.

[Asker]

the library is in a separate building. he has my contact info though...i don't have a reason to be on campus.

[Asker]

i want to know how to get him off campus basically? (after I graduate) if he liked me, wouldn't that be the next step when I'm graduated?

[AmongTheApples]

Then, a little bit before you graduate, you might want to make that I'm going to miss talking with you comment. The problem though, is guys tend not to get subtle signs of interest.

[Asker]

so then how do I say something to let him know I want to talk more after? what if I say something like "i'm graduating...does that mean I'm not going to talk to you anymore?"

[AmongTheApples]

Yeah, do it. If he knows a bit about women, then he should get it. Sadly though, if he doesn't, he still might not get it lol.

[Asker]

so what do I do?

[AmongTheApples]

You can go with what you suggested; it might work. You could always "flip it." Tell him that you like talking to him and would like to continue after you graduate on, insert date of graduation here. And leave it at that or even ask for his number, though if you ask for his number, he might expect you to call.

[Asker]

I hope I just don't want to lose him. Is it possible he would make the first move ? And how can I get him thinking I like him while I am a student?

[AmongTheApples]

That guy up there is completely wrong and has no idea what he's talking about. As I said, I was in a very similar situation several times and no way would I any way do anything that he suggested this guy would do if he was attracted to you as it'd be inappropriate and might be (in my case it literally was) forbidden by the university. Once you're no longer his student then he might pursue you. Don't let that guy up there shake your confidence.

[Asker]

I just met with him the entire time we were talkng he is looking into my eyes and smiling really big and I just get the impression he has a thing for me. He's definitely more personal with me than other students.

[AmongTheApples]

Then he probably likes you. As I said, that's all he can really do right now.

[Asker]

And he waves and smiles right at me from feet away he has done that many times

[AmongTheApples]

I'm sure that he likes you.

[Asker]

How?

[AmongTheApples]

Because that's all he can do, and if he doesn't do those things with all his students, then you're special.

[Asker]

Yeah I am quite sure he does not. I have seen him around others and he talks about personal stuff and jokes around with me a lot and teases me lightly.

[AmongTheApples]

Then I'm sure that he likes you. Unless he's one of those people lacking a sense of propriety, then I'm sure that he doesn't do that with all of his students.

[Anonymous]

you're 18-24 and he's 10 years older. that's pretty old if you ask me. some might.

[Anonymous]

I guess some guys do. I just want to take care of a woman I love...no interest in a younger one necessarily.

[Anonymous]

I've seen that alot. Maybe some guys already have their minds made up just by talking with a girl that the want to care of a her

[dirtyblondeforever]

im sure some do, but I don't

[dirtyblondeforever]

no