Does the ugly duckling syndrome ever disappear completely?

[saragigli]

I used to be much more self-conscious, always thinking I was the ugly one, the girl nobody wanted and I thought I'd be alone forever. Eventually things got better : I starting taking care of my appearance, I became more outgoing and assertive, and now I've got myself a boyfriend who makes me happy. But sometimes the memories come back and I feel so bitter that I didn't get to have any fun growing up. I remember being on my own : uninvited, unwanted, undesidered. And sometimes I still feel self-conscious, ugly, unattractive, clumsy, well, you know these feelings if you're on here probably. I'm now 26 and I'm wondering : will my past ever disappear or it always creep up on me from time to time ?

[Paris13]

Everyone has something in their past they don't like. It could be just about anything from soup to nuts. Yours is how you always thought about how insecure you felt about yourself, your bitter years growing up feeling such as what you described here: uninvited, unwanted, and undesired. You felt alone, feeling even that anything you tried was never good enough, or even anything you thought about trying was not going to be good enough. Nothing ever panned out. Often life was not even worth living. Both discouraging and depressing.

Growing up during the teenage years, are supposed to be not only hard at times, but can be fun as well. But you felt that was taken away from you, and that no one was there to help pick up the pieces to your shattered life. You had to face this all alone, for you always believed no one cared, no one understood you and...always found yourself crying, and even crying yourself to sleep each nite.

But somehow as the years pass, and with some people, they are lucky enough to have over come these feelings of insecurity. But it takes both self assurance and assertion to make it work. It must be nurtured. A new mind set must now be put in place in order for achievement. However, it often ends up following them, even after the inflictions heal and the salt is gone. In the back of one's mind, just gazing into what is now a "different looking glass," the memories always seem to appear out of no where,haunting one still, and perhaps bringing back those old ghosts, along with the old war wounds.

What I am personally seeing in front of me now, is a beautiful girl, who decided one day, just to take the bull by the horns and do something about all of this. And you did it alone. No one helped you. You made up your mind to change your being into a new look, you became more outgoing and friendly, and then you went out and found a guy who makes you happy. YOU, alone, accomplished this, and you did it all by yourself.

I am not sure, for you never said here, if anyone might have gave you some encouragement along the way, but I do know, that you became strong enough, secure enough in what you believed in doing and changing, to have made it happen. This NOW should be the ONLY thing in the back of your mind ----not those old feelings of self-consciousness.

You need to go to the mirror now, and stand in front of it. Just look at yourself. Tell this lovely girl how much she has done to get this far. Look again at what YOU skillfully did to create a new you, a new life, and with this, should be a new outlook in which you should never let this demon of yester time get to you. Keep fighting, forge full steam ahead. Don't look back. Any time you should get this "spirit of sorrow" that still creeps up on you from time to

time, just look at the once daffy duckling that transferred herself into this beautiful, well accomplished girl, with everything going for her, including this amazing guy who makes her happy...Now smile..xx

[Anonymous]

Everyone is beautiful inside and out. You just have to find a way to make yourself feel beautiful. Get your nails done, go get a new hair colour/cut, go get someone at a makeup place to try some stuff on you. Everyone is beautiful you just have to believe it to see it. Don't listen to peoples opinions unless they are positive.

[RasmusAiken]

You'll never completely forget your past. But you can learn to not let it hold power over you in the future.

I know this is trite to say but it's true. Don't let past disappointments ruin your future. This is the first day of the rest of your life.

[shay47]

some people stay ugly, some people become better looking. some people become hot and all the people who hated on them are now trying to get their hands on em.