Add up how much your sister is spending on your kids and divide by 2. That is how much you spend on the 18 year old. You haven't given her anything since 2013!!! Maybe you shouldn't agree with your sister getting your kids something for past Christmases/birthdays and this Christmas if you can't afford at least half in exchange! Who cares if she's 18, she's still your niece and deserves presents!
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I wouldn't get the 18 year old anything. She is 18, not a child. I think she can handle not being given a gift. There are other children aside from your own you have to buy for (husbands sisters kids) and you sister needs to understand that. If she wants to spend a lot of money on your kids by all mean do so but don't expect you to do so in return. You can't afford it.
I would tell your sister its not necessary to buy them stuff to make up for past birthdays or christmases and just buy them maybe spend $100 or $200 (all together) on them and you will do the same for your niece this year for Christmas.
Tell your sister to get your kids as much as you can afford her daughter, so its fair. If she spends over $1000 on your kids and you only get her daughter $50 worth of stuff that is selfish. If you can afford only $100 then tell your sister to get your kids $100 worth of stuff. She can find a lot of cheap crap for them.
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Buy the 18 year old a $25 dollar Amazon gift card and a $25 bath and body works gift card. That's nice that your sister is able to afford your kids nice things but if you don't have the income to do so this is what her daughter gets.
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