5 Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem

5 Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem

1. Try mirror work

This is a popular technique I picked up from Louise Hay, it is used to boost self-love and practice mindfulness. Start by simply gazing at yourself in the mirror. Look deeply into your eyes, almost connect with yourself. As you do this, try not to dwell on your "imperfections". Notice the aspects of your face that you think are beautiful/aesthetically pleasing, bring all of your attention and awareness to these parts. If at any time you begin to have any negative thoughts or emotions, let them pass through, acknoweledge them, and release them. When you feel as though you are done and satisfied with your experience, look back into your eyes and say out loud, "I love you". It may seem weird at first, but make a habit of saying "I love you" everytime you walk by a mirror or do your mirror work. This is an essential step towards bettering your self-esteem and self-compassion.

2. Pick up a hobby

If you've always wanted to paint, take a cooking class, or play the drums, now's the time to start. When you develop and practice a hobby, you will feel accomplished, occupied, and happy. This is a great way to boost your self-esteem. Doing the things you love also gives you a chance to learn more about yourself and expand as a person.

3. Create an uplifting, joyful environment for yourself.

Decorate your workspace or bedroom with bright colors, images/photos that invoke positive emotions, pretty flowers or anything else that makes you feel at ease and content. A nice environment = a happy you.

4. Start a gratitude journal.

Buy yourself a nice notebook or journal and write at least 10 things that you are grateful for everyday and why. Really try to acknoweledge all of the gifts, talents, and things you possess. Make this a ritual and you will see how positive you will feel afterwards. When you write only positive things in your journal, you slowly but surely start to notice only the positive things in your daily life.

5. Focus on your inner-beauty.

The media constantly dictates to us that we are not truly beautiful if we do not have the "perfect body". This leads us to feeling inadequate and our self-worth begins to crumble. In that moment we need to disconnect and focus on ourselves and who we are on the inside.

You need to realize that you are not an airbrushed model or a celebrity, you are YOU. You are more than your dress size, you are more than your acne and you are more than the media's ideal image of beauty. You have an inner beauty and character that shines, that is what makes you special. Redirect your focus and stop dwelling on your appearance. True beauty comes from being yourself, living fully in the moment, and experiencing all the beautiful things this world has to offer. When you are comfortable and at ease with yourself, you are instantly 100x more attractive.


I wish you luck on your self-love journey! xo


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What Guys Said 17

  • How can you not love yourself?

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  • Just don't be the following
    1) Ugly
    2) Ugly
    3) Ugly
    4) Ugly
    5) Ugly
    That's it unfortunately I am

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  • This is helpful But doesn't tackle all the problems. I have a more indepth and detailed way to increase your self-esteem, it all stems down to the root problems which are causing you to have lower self-esteem. I made a Take about it just recently
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10788-how-to-increase-your-confidence-once-for-all

    Warning: it's pretty Long. But you will not regret it.

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  • So very true , what an amazing mytake! You did an amazing job on this. Every young girl on this site should read this!

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  • I agree with everything except for the last one.. Inner beauty sounds like something from a fairy tail,

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  • This stuff works for girls who are fine, and they have just had a bad day and they are calling themselves ugly and acting like attention whores.
    But if you are genuinly unnatractive, simple doing this shit will not fix that, and will not work.
    But, at least your take cheered up the stupid bitches. Nice.

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    • The longer you continue you with the negative attitude the longer you will stay in that negative place.

  • i disagree... well i agree with some stufff not others.

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  • Very well though and said. It’s just sad to see that so many women today have no self esteem and are constantly comparing themselves to likes of the airbrushed models they see in cosmo and glamour magazines, the Victoria’s secret angels and whatever other models out there are saying that a women has to look this way or else there is something wrong with them. I always thought the most beautiful women where the one that are confident and comfortable i their own skin.

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  • I just can't understand how couldn't you list that wearing cool clothes which you like and are new , in most cases this gives a self-esteem but I guess you partly cover it in the last point. The gym helps too.

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    • I was trying to focus more on a person's inner-beauty more than their appearance. Of course having a good personal style and taking care of yourself can boost your self-esteem.

      Thanks for your comment! :)

    • @GreenEyesOpenSoul You welcome and by the way nic take too.

  • What if you tey this stuff and it dosent work

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  • I love shit like this. It's ironic and that's why it never works.

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  • I am going to share this

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  • Write in the diary you are grateful to have a roof on your head and bread on the table.

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  • I got no confidence because I failed at everything. I literally got F's in high school and college. I got kicked out of pharmacy school, rofl. I never hit on a girl because I was too afraid to be open about my sexuality. I never kissed a girl. I never hugged a girl sexually. I'm so angry all the time now, but I keep my anger inside my mind. When I was a kid I was told that sex was evil. Only bad people have sex. Only bad people think about sex. It was only around the age of 19 when I really started questioning if sex was evil. At age 19, I realized that I never really had good friends. They all took advantage of my stupidity and weakness. I got cockblocked by everyone. I never talked with girls unless they were girlfriends with my friends. I feel so retarded. I've been deceived by Islam my entire life, I started praying less and less until I left Islam when I reached 21. Islam destroyed my life. I realize now that because I blindly followed Islam, I lost my chance to communicate with girls for 21 years. My friends were garbage. Every fucking guy in the mosque was a fucking liar. They are all hypocrites. They pretend to be devout Muslims. In reality, as soon as they were on their own, they were constantly hitting on girls and getting laid. I've been deceived not only by my religion, but by my own people. I've missed out on the coolest things on this planet which are girls and sex. After I hit the age of 21, I started hating everything. I thought everything was a scam. Everything felt like deception. So, I took the time to analyze every religion on this planet and realized they were all man-made. I also realized I was very gullible. Everyone had secret sex lives, while I remained a virgin. I'm 26 now, have extreme social anxiety, have deep hatred for this world because of living a life of lies and deceit. The colleges in this planet are all scams to keep the new generation of humans in eternal debt that extend beyond death. College education was never meant to be useful for anything. I didn't realize until I the age of 25, way after I finished college, that I missed out on 4 and half years of free sexual fun while I was in college. What a dumbfuck I was. I'm seriously so stupid, holy fuck. How can someone be so dumb? Damn. I got so mad after I finished college that I decided not to get a job. I fucking played League of Legends for 3 years straight. I ended up reaching Diamond II, which is the top 0.20% of ranked players out of about 1,400,000 ranked players.

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    • Now that I think about it, my friends all had girls in their lives while they all claimed to be devout Muslims. I fucking hate my useless friends. That's why I haven't talked with any of them for the past year. I barely hanged out with them after I became 21. Anyway, the past 6 months, I've transformed my body from almost reaching obesity to a healthy weight. I lost 40 pounds. I started reading some useful books on the history of mankind. UBUNTU Contributionism is a book that explains how the Knights Templar still survive today, their lineage continues through the global banking elite and freemasons. The decendants of the Knights Templar control the entire planet by enslaving humans into a monetary system. There is no true freedom until humans realize that we must remove money from the world. It creates an illusion of scarcity when in reality every resource on this planet is abundant. Slave Species of god is a book that attempts to connect our human history with extraterrestrials.

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    • Sorry for you

  • I guess another one would be is to not let bad events ruin you.

    I remember when I got rebounded by a girl I dated that I felt was closest to a relationship for me absolutely ruined me for awhile. Not that I was ever suicidal but I would let that overshadow all the good shit in my life and it did affect my social skills and overall self esteem for awhile. It definitely was shitty but I realize that I'm not the first person it's happened to nor will I be the last.

    Bottom line is life is too short to be negative all the time.

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  • I am starting to believe that having bad self esteem would almost completely go away if you could get a career you want, and you get at least half of the things you want in life. and having a hobby that is easy to get into is great.

    basically failure leads to low self esteem. failure in social situations usually stems from not being similar to those around you or having nothing interesting to talk about.

    And self esteem issues usually start when you are a kid, and you have to go back and revisit issues and conquer them somehow.

    Very good take though

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  • This is good, though I never really believed in 4. 1, 2 and 5 are really important though.

    1. Because it will bring you down if you focus only on what doesn't look good about you. I have stretch marks, I don't have a full smile, I have pimples, I have a nose that points up too much and the skin around my eyes is shiny and dark. Yet, I don't let it bother me as much as I once did.

    2. Because hobbies not only entertain you, they also define you more as your own individual. You like what YOU like and you shouldn't be discouraged if others don't share your interests. Go out there and get in touch with people who do!

    5. Because at the end of a day, a gorgeous looking jackass is still a jackass.

    Good take. I'd like to add a few things more:

    1. Try to smile more - It's harder to feel bad if you smile and people are more receptive to you if you appear friendly
    2. Dress nice - Even when you don't feel good, don't let it spill over to your wardrobe. If you look sharp, people will see you as sharp. If you dress like a rat, people will be less eager to be around you
    3. If everything fails and you can't stop feeling down on yourself, maybe it's time to talk it out with someone. Professionals can help you with this, they will work with you and offer you new perspectives about why you cannot accept yourself. There is nothing shameful about visiting a therapist. It's 2015.

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What Girls Said 11

  • I like this. A lot of the users on here need to read this.

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  • I just can't do the mirror thing, i can't find anything attractive of my face, i just hate it , so i really don't know how can you end up loving yourself in this case.

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  • I'm still not good at the looking in a mirror thing. Sometimes I put sheets over my mirror so I don't have to look at myself, but that's just me.

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  • I love this, truly made me feel happier just reading it. Thank you! :)

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  • I like this article!!

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  • I need to try these and see if they will bring me out of my depression...

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  • Best mytake ever 😊

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  • Thanks so much for this take. It helped me to be a better me now :) <3

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  • Thank you. I think this is really good and I think I could use this. I've always wanted to get better with my self love/self esteem but I never knew how exactly. And you mentioned hobby: I've always LOVED SINGING and music. And today I tried writing lyrics for a song. My first song without the beat and notes to sing right now but I feel so amazed by it. Awww. Even as I was writing the lyrics, I was like "wow!" So impressed and amazed and I just can't believe it seems like I did so great with that part done. Now I'm thinking of that and I feel so happy, amazed, impressed,

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  • Too many people develop low self esteem from never giving themselves space to improve themselves and really think about what makes them tick. I thought all of these tips were great by the way. Sometimes selfishness is needed in a healthy respect. We put love into others and then don't have anything left for ourselves. We expect them to make up the difference but they can't. We are individually responsible for our own self esteem.

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  • These tips are really good but i hope you included Bible tips too. Well i know many are not Christians but its good to read the Bible too.

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