Do Looks Matter? This is just a rant, but it's probably worth the read!

Do Looks Matter?this is just a rant, but its probably worth the read

First I wanna say, "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". I' m sure you’ve heard that quote before. Everybody defines beauty differently, but what one person finds attractive might be completely different than what another person does.

Has your friend ever liked someone and you're like: ‘What?!....But why?’ Though there are certain features or certain characteristics that many draw to you, there's not one exculsive model that defines beauty. That is what I honestly genuinely believe, that everyone is beautiful.

Do looks matter? To many? Ya they do. But sold with so many other factors, what's their personality like, what are their morals? Do they make you laugh? Do they have a talent? Can they sing? What is their intelligence level? How do they treat their family? How do they express themselves?

So many different elements play into what someone finds attractive. Are physical looks the only thing that matter? No, definitely not; unless that’s all the individual is after, and in that case I don’t believe theyre attracted so much to the person but more towards their body. Looks can't stand on their own. If you have someone who is very good-looking, but with a terrible personality, I don’t think anyone's gonna pursue them past looking at them. I don’t think it's someone's physical looks or physical features that make them attractive. It's all the treasures of the individual; what they stand for, their humor, how they react to live situations, their flaws, their gifts and everything that they carry as an individual.

You can't rely on the feedback of others to determine your beauty. One person's opinion of you makes no difference to the other person's opinion. Someone might find you unbelievably attractive, and someone else? Maybe not so much. You need to know your value and beauty for yourself, not based on what anyone else thinks or what anyone else says. You are beautiful not only for your physical looks, not only for your personality, but everything you carry as an individual.There is so much value in that. You are beautiful for being you.

Don't let anyone elses opinions determine if you're beautiful or not. What others think does not change the value of you. You can have a priceless diamond and someone might walk by and say, you know, I don’t like that diamond, that just wouldn’t suit me. But that doesn’t change the value of that diamond, irrelevant of what that one person thinks. It's the same way you can't base your confidence or security on other peoples opinions of you, cause then you'll feel like your worthless one day, great the next day.

You need to know for yourself the value of who you are and the beauty you contain and the person who sees that value in you; that’s the person whose opinion really matters.


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What Guys Said 36

  • I thought when you said rant it wasn't yet another one of zillions of puff pieces girls on here post pretending they have confidence. we are SOCIAL creatures. we are biologically designed with the need to ATTRACT OTHERS. Valuing yourself is obviously important but at some point you still have to deal with the fact that while you may be beautiful to yourself you may not be considered beautiful by your society for whatever reason and that's can have a negative impact on your social experience. The problem is you're attempting to answer a question without an answer because it's not a fact. It's an opinion.

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  • Looks totally matter. My dating game is NIGHT AND DAY compared to when I was gawky and skinny. Being tall and jacked commands respect around the office too.

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  • Great take
    That picture rofl

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    • thank you and ya, i didn't know what to put as the pic, so i was scrolling though and thought 'hmm.. maybe this one' lol

  • I haven't met 1 person in the world yet who had the option of choosing the worse looking person over the good looking person for any reason, so yeah they matter.

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    • I did and I was suprised as fuck :D
      But.. they aren't together anymore - and it only lasted for two weeks. She broke up with him because he complained too much about his appearance.

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    • I assume it was all about the personality

  • I agree that looks kind of matter, but only if they go with the personality of those looks. I think women who dress like rockers or heavy metal style are the sexiest, but it would be more important if she actually listened to the stuff and we could share the same music tastes.

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  • my guess: OP is ugly/fat.

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  • Every people have their different choices

    It's very difficult to understand someone

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  • The fact that everyone has different ideas of beauty is complete, utter BS. There is an ideal look for men, and there is an ideal look for women. All women are at least moderately attracted to the ideal look for men, and all men are at least moderately attracted to the ideal look for women. Sure, small preferences like hair color, eye color, amount of body hair, hairstyles, length of hair, rosy cheeks, cheekbones, skin tone, and length of nose may differ from person to person; but every female on earth is attracted to guys with square chiseled jaws, angular features, wide shoulders, thin waists and legs, and medium to high muscle definition. All men are attracted to women with cute, soft, innocent facial features, big boobs, thin waist, wide hips, round butts, semi thick thighs, and low to none muscle definition. Those things don't differ from person to person, those are the ideals of every single human being. And that's the ugly truth.

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    • Nope thats not true at all. That may be the beauty standard for your culture/region. Not everyone are into the "cute", "innocent features", and the "big boobs" attraction varies A LOT, in fact there's a lot of guys who prefer medium to small sized boobs.
      Some cultures really do not like thick thighs, especially not in a lot of countries in Asia, that is a big nooo no, and also a no on the wide hips thing, and yes that includes the countries like China, Japan, Korea, Indonesia, Philippines and so on. And thats what, almost 2 BILLION people already.
      So yeah no not every single human has the same beauty ideals, at all. There is a whole huge world outside the USA, love. Just saying.

  • Looks do matter, it's really sad but it's the truth. I have yet to see a good looking person with someone who isn't as good looking.

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    • I have and I wasn't all that surprised considering the guy is as deep as it gets. A friend of my brother's used to work as a model in Italy. He isn't the hottest guy I've seen but he was that sexy air of a man who 'is somebody' while still being down to earth. Anyway when I met his girlfriend I thought she was a friend's girl. She looks older, plain, she doesn't tend to her looks (he does but it still looks like he didn't spend more than 3 minutes doing so) and she has half his height. But when I saw them interact and the way they touched each other and from whet I've previously heard from him, it looks as if she's his world and that he is hers.

  • sometimes I think they do but then i see my considerably shorter and not so good looking friend get more female attention than an above average guy like me lol

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  • Well, for majority of people, looks matter the most.

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  • "Don't let anyone else's opinions determine if you're beautiful or not. What others think does not change the value of you. You can have a priceless diamond and someone might walk by and say, you know, I don’t like that diamond, that just wouldn’t suit me. But that doesn’t change the value of that diamond, irrelevant of what that one person thinks."

    It's a good idea to aspire by and and ideal to strive towards. Unfortunately, if taken as true, what it amounts to is, "Only your own opinions about your beauty determine your beauty." If that were true, then we could simply delude ourselves into making other people actually find us more attractive (and we know that's not how life works).

    As far as the diamond analogy, diamonds are commodities. Carat, clarity, color, cut. Someone might come along that doesn't like that diamond, and maybe someone else does, but that's because those two people are looking for different things in a diamond (e. g., one person is looking for a large carat size to impress his fiance', whereas the other person is looking for a very specific cut and clarity in order to use the diamond as part of a medical laser). The "value" of the same diamond that one person wants and another person does not want, however, is the same. It can be easily priced and traded. See, http://www.diamondregistry.com/

    It's not healthy to come up with an elaborate justification or excuse in order to avoid confronting and genuinely coming to terms with reality. That's a recipe for emotional distress.

    Looks do matter. That's the uncomfortable reality. There's a saying in real estate, "How much is a house worth?" The answer is, "What a buyer is willing to pay for it." When real estate appraisers determine the "fair market value" of real estate, they collect evidence of what what price an "actual exchange" occurred at (i. e., comparative sales). They don't collect data on what price "sellers are asking for" or what price "sellers believe their real estate is worth" ... but yet the real estate remains unsold (i. e., the market disagrees with the seller's theory).

    There are some parts of us that do not depend on other people's opinions or preferences (e. g., the money in our bank account; financial status; degree of education; musical talents; athletic abilities). There are parts of us, however, that are dependent on other people's preferences (e. g., physical attractiveness; sexual desirability).

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    • A healthy self-esteem is made possible when we acknowledge reality, not deny reality. But, after acknowledging reality, we focus on doing things that are within our control. So, rather than focusing on "looks" and "physical attractiveness" or "sexual desirability" (which are inherently based on the opinions and preferences of others), we need to recognize that there are other aspects of our value as a person that can also have a healthy uplifting effect on our self-esteem. This includes education, career, financial status, social status, athletic ability, musical or other creative talents, etc. These are "objective." They don't depend on another person's life circumstances and "preferences." You either have $10,000 in your checking account, or you don't. You can either play the piano to sheet music, or you can't. You can either run a mile in under 10 minutes, or you can't. These things don't depend on the opinions or preferences of others.

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    • "people can also be attracted to the parts of us not dependent on others opinions such as financial status; degree of education; musical talents and athletic abilities as you put it."

      Implied in that concession is that a person's value based on their "beauty" or "sexual appeal" is something that "is dependent" on the opinions of others.

      Nevertheless, a healthy coping strategy would involve genuinely shifting importance away from allocating a high percentage of one's self-worth or value as a person to "beauty" or "sex appeal," and instead redirecting the bulk of a person's value or self-worth to things that are independent of people's opinions...

      NOT pretending that "beauty" and "sex appeal" has absolutely nothing to do with the opinions of OTHER (i. e., others besides the subject being critiqued for their beauty and sex appeal) ... and NOT pretending that the other peoples' standards should be "minimized" or "altered" to simply MAKE US FEEL BETTER.

    • I hope you're having a lovely week yourself ; )

  • Looks really matter that is the thing seen at first at the end of the day no one is in love at first sight because of personality

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  • Yes looks matter. PEOPLE ALSO ASSOCIATE +VE traits to good looking people and overlook their BAD traits. While doing reverse for ugly people.

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  • looks matter, when a bit over average looking dude would do the same date like the model looking guy, the model would win.
    Who should i blame lmao but as seen sometimes the model looking guy is a stupid dude... Like a straight asshole, and really insult the women even tho theyre not together. Like i wouldn't insult a girl, i would display dominance etc... But yet she would still be drawn to the model looking guy--->WHY?
    Cause, he is rich and very good looking, meanwhile the girl is head over heals and keeps acting childish, and can't breathe without him so to say, whilst they never even dated making her look weak and stripping of her attraction.

    Like, i would be the same, if it was my scenario, but her personality would directly put me off. And what makes it even more ridicoulous, that you offer as much/even more than the model looking guy. Yet, you get thrown away cause he looks good

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    • not ALL girls are like that thankfully, just the shallow ones

    • well i think, sometimes it has something to do with self-value. Cause i see most these girls losing everything when they fall for such type of guy. They become distant, only think about that... Like their entire world circles around him. Even if they want to forget him, they still come up with a plan to make him jealous etc... Thus meaning every action is still in the name of HIM. a lot of girls falls for these types, until their heart is broken and innocence is gone. Its nothing but a canvas they want to fit in with, that is what causes the infatuation

  • Good take and funny pic :D

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  • Yes looks matter, but to what extent is a person to person basis.

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  • Well in my case it's not my face that would define if I get hooked... it's my package... it's stupid because my fave or torso doesn't get a care in the world

    I have a fairly average face in my opinion in the face department I do alright

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  • Looks is everything,Very important to modern dating, No looks? No Gorgeous face? No date ! Personality is just second important factors !

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  • This is a good point, but if you have the opposite of good looks and a bad personality, bad looks and a good personality, you get something that isn't much better. I dated a girl that I didn't find very attractive (she definitely wasn't ugly though, for 2 years, and it fell apart pretty fast once it hit me that I didn't find her very attractive anymore.

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What Girls Said 19

  • Of course they do matter and a lot!

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  • looks matter, but personality too

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  • Looks matter to certain people, but when you actually end up falling in love with someone looks are just a plus, because what matters to you when that happens is how that person makes you feel. usually when I become interested in someone is when we share the same values, the looks come after.

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  • Honestly to me, idgaf about looks. As long as he could be his self around me, make me laugh, and show he cares. I'm fine. I'm mostly 50/50 half the time. But people judge me for my looks, so obviously looks do matter to others. I've even been told what people think personally. And it's not fun whatsoever. But people have their own opinions so I just don't pay attention to it anymore. I like being single and I wanna stay that way forever. I don't need someone to drag me down from things I wanna do. So I'm happy by myself. And everyone has their own qualifications, and that's perfectly fine.

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  • looks do matter.. not only in dating but in all other aspects of life.. good looking people do go for not that good looking people.. dating.. relationships.. and even get married.. but those people are also at least average... not ugly.. and something else about them makes up for the lack of looks.. like sense of humor,, and intelligence is attractive AF too..

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  • for a guy a personality and looks would matter to me

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  • Look does matter a lot :( that's why i still single even in Jobs area become more important then your abilities :(

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  • I believe in personality over looks bur realisticly your eyes look at someone and if they are attractive to you then you like them before even knowing their personality. Looks to a certain extent matter. I was friendly with a guy who fancied me but he wasn't my type. We got friendly and got to know each other better he was so so funny... After a while I developed feelings for him and then I fancied him too.. but when first knowing him I wasn't interested as his looks were not my type. With everyone maybe it's time people need. But we are all guilty of looks haha

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  • Looks do matter (they shouldn't be the reason why you date that person though) but at least not everyone likes the same thing. Attraction can be so complicated that the word "ugly" shouldn't even exsist. My crush comes off as timid, has acne, glasses and he's short and younger than me, but I'm really attracted to him and he's a gentleman with manners which makes him the whole package in my eyes (both attractive and nice). Other people may be turned off by what I listed which sometimes confuses me but to each their own :D

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  • Really great take.

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  • For girls they may not give a thought about looks but guys they just go for looks.

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  • Studies have proved that people tend to pay more attention to beautiful people, they tend to think beautiful people are funny, talented, trustworthy, etc. Beautiful people also tends to make more money then average/ugly people and that's a cold flat fact.. so, for an example if there is an average person with a great personality, it may lead this person somewhere in life but if another person is both beautiful AND great personality, this person wins over the average person. In movies, the headleader is always the most attractive of all of the casting. And the rest just tends to surround the beautiful leader. So yes, looks do matter even in the animal world, a LOT. ''The survival of the fittest.''

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  • Obviously you have the shallow girls that are just in it for looks. But I dont see who would want to date those girls anyway. I would much rather have a personal connection with someone, when you really love someone for who they are even if you didn't think they were attractive before theyll be the most attractive person to you because you have that connection. Looks won't be forever. People seem to forget that.

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    • i agree with you, that happened to me before tbh, i liked someone cause of personality, and looks never mattered to me, because i thought his personality was the best id ever had the fortune of coming across...

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    • @asiag299 that's true, but rarely does that happen. I've never liked anyone based on looks (I mean sure if your walking down the street and don't know someone, and go hey they're cute, but that doesn't count) when we're talking about actually liking. I dont see how people can look past personalities. Almost all the girls I've known do, living in vegas girls only want to date the hottest guys no matter how they treat them. Any guy would be lucky to have you, because you don't base it on superficial things :)

    • lol thank you I agree with your opinion although I have to say that subconsciously you wouldn't even look at someone as a potential mate if you weren't the tiniest bit attracted to them. Kind of sucks but at the same time looks aren't that important.

  • Great Take! very true, but also thought i'd say looks do have a very big part, if someone's looks isn't something you're attracted to, you wouldn't appraoch them.. :)

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    • Yeah you sexy lady you >:D hahaha :*

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    • I 110% agree with you there, social media has also spoiled a lot of these things, and for the record, id go for personality any day :)
      @MarkyyG123 has an amazing personality which also came with the looks >:D <3 haha

    • Haha oh I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you Zo <3
      NOW Guys, back off... she's mine... that includes any lesbians... <3

  • This made me feel pretty, so thank you!! In my whole life, one boy called me pretty to my face and that was earlier this month. The others usually say it in secret which I don't like, as if I'm a disease and they're giving me sympathy compliments. Most of my life I've been called ugly and fat even after puberty and even after I lost 53 pounds through starving and some exercise. There should be more nice people in the world like you and him and maybe so many people wouldn't commit suicide.

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    • yes of course your pretty. oh thank you my dear :) you've made my day , and whos the 'him' your referring to?

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    • lol no I failed to mention it

    • i was being polite by not pointing that out, but here you do it lol

  • I want to be PC in here, but the real world so isn't PC. You gotta survive somehow (goes off to the shelter to get me 9 dogs. I'll be the crazy dog lady)

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  • I agree with this take, everyone is attractive to someone, but the importance of (maybe not attractiveness but..) conventional beauty or good looks goes way further than that since "beautiful people" are actually even perceived as more intelligent by society and the chances for them to get the job they applied for are much higher, I'm not making this up there's actually studies that support this! And I mean, isn't this just wrong on so many levels? Anyways, that's really how important beauty is nowadays, it's creepy..

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    • lol im glad you agree, i actually didn't expect people to read my take much less to agree with it too :D

  • They do matter to everyone BUT what makes a difference is what they find attractive. If someone is picky when it comes to looks, that means he/she is shallow. I personally find all races equally attractive. I like guys with small and big noses, long and short hair, skinny chubby or fit, and with any eye color.

    If someone is only willing to date skinny white girls with blue eyes and nice butt, that is shallow.

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    • And yes you could argue it comes down to personal taste what everyone finds attractive.. yeah, but the person is still picky.

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    • @asiag299. Well obviously it's stupid to be in a relationship with someone you don't find attractive. I never said anyone should do that. It's disrespectful and stupid. But I don't quite get what you mean with that other part? It isn't shallow to only want to date people who look very specific? How can someone else's look make you happy? It might turn you on, it might "satisfy" you. But that alone can't make you happy. Changing yourself is a completely different story. And yes it is natural to want to date people you find attractive, but if you are picky and shallow, then you'll just have to wait longer to find soneone like that who is willing to date you. And most people will think you are a prick. Sad but people have the right to think that.

    • I don't think I stated it correctly lol but I'll just say that I agree with your thinking You responses pretty much match my thinking so yeah I think we're on the same page :)

  • Looks DO matter x 100000000000000000!!!

    How much and to who will always vary though.

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