Self confidence: The importance of having it

Introduction:

Self confidence is something I find to be extremely important. Not many people have it at all though, many absolutely hate how they look, their personality, or even small things like the way they walk or how they look sitting. I was thinking and about a month ago we had an attack of #BodyPositive questions and myTakes on here. I wrote one too, but I figured I should go in depth about being self confident. Keep in mind you may find this to be really long, so read or don't, just be happy with yourself. :)

Self confidence, the importance of having it.

You were art before they came along, you'll continue to be art long after they're gone. A masterpiece is still a masterpiece when the lights are off and the room is empty.

Men and women both face the struggles of body image, self confidence, anything postive about themselves really. Not many people are happy with the way they look. People think self confidence means being outgoing or liking their body. Self confidence may be that but it also includes how you feel about your personality, how you feel about yourself in general. Some may say women have it harder for self confidence, some say men do. No, both suffer from it.

Men get groped, 'cat called', slut shamed, bullied and harassed etc, just like women can. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will leave psychological wounds that will never heal." Our words have a major impact on the way someone thinks of themselves.

I find self confidence to have many pros and a few cons too.

Pros.

  • better self esteem
  • less shy (usually)
  • will do what they couldn't before
  • happier (usually)
  • they learn their self worth
  • they find out who's good for them
  • they won't settle for less than they deserve

Cons.

  • people will judge you for being 'cocky' (sometimes)
  • you may come off as 'bitchy'
  • it's automatically assumed you're stuck up (sometimes)

At least, that's how I view it. I find that if people are self confident, they're generally happier, they get rid of the toxic people in their life and they are less judgmental. Self confidence is very important, not having it may be part of having depression, not taking great opportunities, being suicidal and more.

I am trying to have more self confidence as I have little to no self esteem. I was bullied, for about eight years as a child and my dad didn't help at all with his mental abuse and child negligence. I am very self concious about my nose, forehead, small breasts and even sillier stuff, like when I smile openly only my left eye crinkles up so it looks weird. I also have a self depricating sense of humor, like I'll see a piece of trash being blown in the wind, I'll just say "Hey that's me when I dance."



I don't like how I look and I certainly don't think of myself as anywhere near perfect. But I have started to try to love myself more. I will look at my small breasts and just shrug and be cool with how they look. I'm fine with my weight, if anything I could gain some. But I just do what makes me happy with how I look, I wear the clothes I want, (usually leggings and a band tee) and I do my make up the way I like.

When I say "Oh yea I like *insert whatever feature of mine*" I am assumed to be a cocky bitch. But no, I am trying to like myself and that is very difficult for people to do. People don't understand the affect their words can have on someones self esteem.

I have a good friend, we'll call him J. He gets bullied, by people at his school and by his father. He hates his weight, his face, he hates himself. I think he's one of the best people I know, and his weight is perfectly fine as it doesn't critically affect his health. I am trying to help him feel better about himself so I compliment him all the time, and it's always genuine.



If you want more self esteem I suggest you don't surround yourself with toxic people. I suggest you stare in the mirror and say "You sexy fucking beast." or "Wow I'm beautiful/handsome." If you start doing that, at least once a day, you'll begin to believe it. Self confidence isn't something that comes easy but it is always welcome and in the end, the result is amazing.

The things worth trying for are never the easiest. That's why they're worth it.


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What Guys Said 7

  • GREAT POST!!!

    Confidence is so key for me, for girls I'm interested in. It's basically a requirement. Everything good comes with being self-confident.

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  • I really hate myself looking at the mirror when I do I focus looking my hair rather than my face... Everything about me is bad

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    • don't think that way :/

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    • being nice, sweet, funny and hygienic.

    • I don't want to be nice... I'm not sweet and funny but I am hygienic

  • Yes confidence is attractive for girls similar to guys. It really doesn't matter if she isn't a model rather her body language and how she portrays herself. Love is a proving game. Prove to the other partner or potential partner that you are worth his or her love. Confidence boosts this like 3000%

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  • people who are confident already have what is deemed acceptable is life while people who don't feel that cause of the people who have what they want talk and flaunt about what they have

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  • You put less shy in pros as if being shy is supposed to be a bad thing. I'm a little offended.

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    • it isn't a bad thing but it may hold some people back from doing what they want or taking an opportunity. I'm sorry I offended you.

  • Excellent post!!. Superb!

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  • I agree completely! Except about the part that u believed u were ugly lol

    Yah, I think I do have a self confidence issue, but I don't usually look myself in the mirror and tell myself it looks good, because it doesn't. But, it doesn't make me sad. I just carry on, I accept it, and move on to something more important.

    Hurrah to loving yourself!

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    • But that's the thing, you don't believe in yourself and you should. You SHOULD tell yourself you look good even if you don't believe it, because eventually you will.

      Thank you though :)

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    • Hey, I think you're very attractive. :P

    • Shhhhh don't give yourself away! You're incognito!

What Girls Said 6

  • yes confidence is somthing u need to survive

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  • This is a great take 😊

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  • I completely agree with you !!! & I have it ;)

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    • thats good.

      @Noxifer626 you're the guy I'm talking about

  • Great MyTake! :D <3

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  • "lift up your head princess, if not the crown falls"

    wow

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    • is that good or bad wow?

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    • thank you for this myTake😉

    • you're welcome ^~^

  • Aww I love this thread! It will hopefully give a confidence to people who need it. It's Great To See THAT Your Developing Confidence. its Vital For The future.

    Tbh I'm confident about myself, will speak etc. I cam just be kinda shy during class but that's normal I suppose 😉😁

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