Trick your brain and gain better self esteem

Having poor self confidence seems to be quite normal in today's society where we value looks and attractiveness dangerously high. This has lead to a society with photoshop, impossible body ideals and people needing the confirmation of others to feel happy about themselves. We have apps like tinder, hot-or-not and more, who are based only on appereance and even here on GAG we rate our profile pictures 1-10 depending on how attractive we are.

Trick your brain and gain better self esteem.

If you are on of the millions of people with a low self esteem, this method might be something for you. It has long been known that our brain is complex and can be fooled - even doing something as simple as smiling can trick your brain into thinking you're happy and you will actually feel happier. Amazing, isn't it?

So how can we use this to our advantage in this case? If you feel ugly, not as important as everyone else, smaller, less valuable etc. that will affect you and your life negatively and can destroy many good things. Guys are constantly hearing that girls like confidence, but what are you going to do if you don't have confidence? You just don't feel good enough. Girls are constantly shown how important it is for them to be beautiful, hot, skinny and how cruical that is if they want to succeed in life and with relationships. But what if you don't feel good enough?

As a result of this we feel the need to get confirmation of others that we are, infact, good enough. Hearing that you are a "solid 8" might give you some joy short term, but soon you will go back to feeling the exact same way you did when you asked the question in the first place. It is like using tape to fix a glass bowl, smashed into hundreds of little pieces.

So, back to this method I want to teach you. I have been talking about this with several of you here on GAG - both in private messages and in opinions - and I can confirm that it works. How do I know? I have done it myself. Now, it's not going to happen over a night. It takes practice, determination and an active choice to actually want to change yourself. There is no quick fix to a bad self esteem, no 3 steps- method.

What you need to do is to trick your mind:

Everytime you get a feeling or a thought that you are less than others, that you are ugly or bad, you have to fight that feeling or thought. Tell yourself that you are good enough, you are beautiful. You are awesome. It doesn't matter if you agree, just do it.

Everytime you see yourself in the mirror, give yourself a compliment. Find something about your face or your body that you aren't so bitter about and compliment yourself about that. "I have such a cute nose!", for example.

VIsualize yourself as confident, happy and great. Visualize that you're in a place where you don't feel the need to have others telling you that you look good to be happy and confident.

Try your best to accept the things you cannot change. Maybe you don't like your short, stubby legs or your big ears - but accept that you are this way and it doesn't mean you are less than anyone else.

And lastly, remember that the only one constantly thinking about your inperfections is yourself. Others are way to busy with thinking about themselves.

So, stand straight, walk proudly and remeber that you are great and gorgeous - just the way you are!


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is so true. Everyone needs to know that they're beautiful inside and outside.

    • Exactly! It's a shame that people care so much about what others think, that they forget what they think themselves.

    • People are so worried about what others think they forget to look after their selfes.

    • Very true, it's sad.

Most Helpful Girl

  • What you say is true. You can definitely trick your mind to feel more confident. But I feel that the point is not confidence so much, but to know yourself, be honest with yourself and to try to become better. I mean, you might be confident and overlook the bad aspects of yourself, or you might not be and moan about how awful you are and not do a thing to change.

    • I agree, and that is what I meant to some extent. Be proud with yourself and accept the way you are because you're fine just the way you are.

    • No one is perfect. There's always something that needs to change, in personality or looks. The key is to respect yourself , in order to acknowledge both good and bad aspects of you, keep up the good and change the bad. Feeling overly confident is bad, because it prevents you to change


Join the discussion



What Guys Said 7

  • One simply can't lie oneself, that's the problem.

  • i tried the mirror thing but i allways end up rediculing myself... the thing about stuff that i am self conscious about is what bothers me personally. i know it bothers others. i somtimes even are told that they never noticed it when i tell them what i am self conscious about. still i can´t get over it and just be proud.

    • Well, that is the hard part. I can only speak for myself, and for me it worked. If it's not suitable for you, maybe you should try something else.

  • Very good points! A good written my-take.

  • Problem is i hate talking about myself, i can't give myself compliments cos then i feel like i'm being a cocky arsehole

    • Just do it in your head, you don't have to go and brag about yourself to others. It's more when you look at your legs and think that you hate your legs, try to steer your thoughts away from that and remind yourself that you are fine the way you are.

  • And also to add that its your face and you can't change it!

    • I wrote that, just not with face :)

    • Haha... i am happy with my face... i was just talking about the people who are not in your question!

  • This does not work. Unlike other tips and tricks you cannot stave a flow of thoughts with other thoughts. It's why telling yourself you're skinny when you weigh 300 pounds doesn't work. You can't convince anyone that's "thin". Redirecting is extremely unhealthy behavior.

    • You misunderstand me. It's not about making you believe you're something you're not- it's about accepting what you actually are and know that you are good enough. This take doesn't say that you can't change things, but often when it comes to bad self esteem, it's not so much (except that) that needs to be changed.

    • Show All
    • I don't think I can report my own take, I don't see where at least.

    • It's the tiny flag on the comment to the left of my original comment.

  • I need to do this because I'm balding and it's killing my self esteem. Thanks

    • Good luck! Remember that it's not enough to do it just one time - you have to repeat it over and over again every single time you feel like that.

What Girls Said 1

  • Thank you for this :D