How to deal with being an ugly teenage boy?

Hi, i'm new to the forums, so here it goes:
From guy to guy, though girl's advice are appreciated too, how do you deal with being ugly.
Ever since i was a child i had a high self esteem, somehow I actually believed I was good looking, but it was alway my family telling me that, so I went through my first 14 years of life actually buying that idea, fair to say when i hit me how goddamn ugly I was I didn't take it easy.
I don't know how i didn't realize it before honestly, when i saw pictures of myself i'd just be like "man, well I guess i'm simply not photogenic".
On top of that i was always pretty weird, until 6th grade i went to a school with 12 students per classroom, tops, although it had very good academical level, but it felt a little for like, special children, even though it really wasn't, i have a "disease" called TDA which, while i supposedly have a much higher hq than an average person, it's downgraded by a lack of chemical connections in my brain already terrible social skills, which i have improved on a lot over the years, but not enough to fit in society, on 7thhat impair me of concentration and i'm also hyperactive, At elementary, i was one of the popular kids, but being only twelve, well it didn't mean much, so when 7th grade finally came, i went to one of the most expensive private schools in my country, and i had no way to compete, so I came in being stupid enough to make everyone notice me in a bad way, for a long time, i was bullied and made fun of, i met no girls and had no friends, until somewheree around 8th grade I became a confident fun person everyone liked being around, but one day everything changed again iand i was that weirdo again, i met this beautiful girl in class i have been dead for ever since, it's been almost two years, and it was my worst mistake, but looking at her only made me feel bad about myself, i'm not rich or fit, even slim, i'm ugly, unpopular, lonely, not by choice but that is how it is What now?

Updates:
by the way sorry if this is long but it gets worse, and thanks to the people who have answered, the add pill i take is causing me parkinson symptoms, so there's a good chance i'll be useless by the time i'm 40, my family has tried everything, and nothing else works, so not only is my life going to become obsolete by the time i'm 40, it's pretty horrible already, i don't want to live like this, and i wish there was a way i could simply start over.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You know, for most of your life as a man, being manly is what attracts women. Some girls like pretty boys, but generally speaking being 'cute' as a guy is a plus but not as much of a plus as you'd think. And somewhat ugly, but very masculine guys do fine.

    I know you're on medications etc, but are you honestly putting in decent work to have as good a body as you can?

    Is your hairstyle one that actually flatters you?

    Do you dress in a way that suits your body?

    If your social skills suck, make it a goal to work on improving them. Can you read people's expressions at all? T here are formal training methods to get better at it.

    Be the best, most attractive version of you that you can be.

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    • at one point i was a very fun and amusing person to stick around, i remember one day two very popular girls were sited next to me and out of nowhere i started talking to them and they said i was the funniest guy they had ever met, after that I don't know how or why but i became weird again, not immediately but over a couple weeks i was once again that shy, unusual, weird dude, honestly i don't know if i was just having my 15 min of fame or something because i was like that for like a month or so, and everything felt great i mea i never got hit by any girl or they never showed any desire to go past friends but i felt better back then than i do know, at least back then i didn't think of hurting myself or just getting drunk to both think about it

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    • Thank i lot i guess i do have some trouble for boundaries, as when it is time to be funny and what actually is funny, and do you think if i ever recover my confidence my funny bone will be back, i mean i'm not a very interesting person to talk to, my only redemption seems to be being funny, anyway it's hard to work on the body, i look at myself in the mirror and see the piece of sh! t i am and it's just discouraging, i actually did swimming, gymnastics tae kwan do, and basketball when i was a kid, i almost had a six pack :), but i stopped altogether because i was sick of it and well now i look like this

    • Yeah, i do think you can be funny again when confident, just need to learn to read people's reaction and be able to mix it up a little more.

      Yeah, working out is hard!

      It's one of the reasons it's important. Look better, and feel like you've accomplished something, and feel more confident in yourself on top of the looks.

      Probably good for your ADD as well.

      A lot of athletes have it you know.

What Girls Said 9

  • Who cares, If you're that ugly as you say you are, as long as you have a cool personality, you can make up for your "ugliness" if it makes you feel better, I really liked one of my friends who was a football player and he was 370 pounds. I liked him because he was loved by many of his peers for being such a sweet teddy bear. If he asked me on a date (but he is very shy) then I totally would. I mean, physical attraction grows less important to me as each year goes by. I even told one of my ex's that he was kind of ugly and he just tackled me and I didn't give a fuck that he was ugly. I probably had a more meaningful relationship with him than my other ex's who were hot.

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  • I know everyone has heard this, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Looks are useless, in my opinion. I'd rather be with the "ugliest" person with the most beautiful personality, rather than the most beautiful person with the ugliest personality. If you honestly think you're ugly, which I'm willing to bet you're not, make up for it with personality <3

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    • I try but i just can't, and no matter how hard i try i just feel like i'll never be good enough, also im glad you think like that, i usually don't pick girls if they are hot/beautiful or anything as for the physical i only mind if i like her, but how many people think like you, if everybody thought the way you do, then i wouldn't be here writing this

    • You are good enough. You're gonna find a girl that loves and accepts you for you. Until then, screw anyone else who thinks different. The problem with people is we have developed this "picture" or what's considered "attractive" and people who are considered attractive are offer te most pretentious a-holes because they think they're better than everyone else. The best kind of people are the people who don't think highly of themselves and see the beauty in others. YOU are a truly beautiful person. Don't ever forget that.

    • thanks, you're very nice

  • Its not just all about looks, personality is more important :) I know, im a lonely wolf too. I used to see only my flaws. Sometimes we think were ugly, but as long as our hearts are good, were still pretty, maybe not on the outside, but at least on the inside. :)

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    • Thank you, i just wish life my life could prove differently than just "the girl you so deeply fell in love for will never even bother because you will never be good enough", by the way i am NOT blaming her, i have never known such a beautiful person both inside and outside, she is so unusually and oddly beautiful, so deep, but also so smart, compassionate, happy, nice, talented.

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    • i can't we don't even go to the same school anymore, besides, i've never been able to do that with any girl and make something happen let alone this girl, besides our social circles are just way too different, well i don't really have one but anyway

    • Oh oke, try to get a bit more used to talking to people though, i know its hard, but you need to try to find a way to talk to new people and girls. Everyone should at least have a chance to talk to the person he/she likes :)

  • Being ugly is not a big deal. As long as you have a good personality, everyone will love you. You might get friendzoned a few times but honestly, there's probably gonna be a girl who thinks you're attractive. I don't really care about looks, I care about confidence (without being a smartass or anything) and how they talk to people.

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  • What's TDA stand for

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    • SOrry, i meant ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder

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    • I dont, but what I do know is that it's statistically more likely that you're just insecure with your appearance given you're going through a major change physically and mentally. Every thing is just all out of wack right now.

    • Thanks, and i hope it's partly that, but believe me, i am by no means, and will never ever be good looking, thanks fr all your support

  • WHO CARES? honey, the ugliest guys i know are really popular with the girls and others, you know what they do? they just have A LOT of self confidence! there is a guy at my school who has long blonde hair and his face is full of acne but he's so confident and every girl likes him he's surrounded by beautiful girls! even i took a liking in him, so be confident! :-)

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  • If you believed that you're handsome then you probably are. Don't doubt yourself, whatever you see in the mirror is you. Don't torture yourself with the idea that you're delusional.

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  • i doubt you're ugly. it's all in your head.

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    • nope, it's not, i have tried to convince myself of the opposite, believe me i tried, but that's just how it is, my appearance is laughable, i mean i dress well and all but just the way i look.

  • Trust me, guys can get away with being ugly. Girls just wanna see your sweet, sensitive, romantic side and she will feel special.

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    • The problem is i'm in high school, not once have i ever heard/seen that

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    • I'm sorry! That's a terrible school:,(

    • Terrible? Why? it's one of the tops schools where i live, nation wide, and it's not their fault, i have never been able to fit into any group, let alone the popular guys, i wouldn't blame it on them, the bad thins is that it's a religious school, and i'm ana theist, but they aren't crazy about it, and it's boys only, but while it's pretty fun, i didn't talk to a lot of girls in my last school, so you can imagine what it's like right now

What Guys Said 7

  • Firstly, my friend, you are still young. You are still growing up so your looks will change by the time you grow up. Secondly, you don't need to be popular or beautiful, or fit, or rich to have friends. All you need is to meet right people. Because most teens, that maybe look good or have more money than the others, tend to look for "victims" so they could abuse them to show their power and be more popular. My advice for you would be to wait. Future is unpredictable and only time can say what will happen next. Just stay strong and don't give up. :)

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    • Thanks but the ugly duckling thing is land of unlikely to me, first, puberty has been gone for a while second, there is no place to start for that matter, i don't have a sting jawline, or nice eyes, in fact my eyes are far apart and asymmetrical, my nose is round my face looks puffy because i'm fat, thought that's the only thing that i can work on, and i am, my ears are big, my chin is cleft and small and my lips are full, but my upper lip is bigger than my lower lip, so instead of looking good, i look plain weird, and that about hot rich guys is not necessarily true, i go to a high school very similar to my last school, except they are even richer here, and while they are cocky, they aren't bad people, and god are they good with girls.

    • Well I understand your situation and those were only my predictions. I do know how you feel even though I wasn't in exact situation as yours (yet it's quite similar). All I can advice for you is to stay strong and don't give up. And about friends, well you will find them and they will be the best ones. Sorry if I'm not very helpful, but I hope you will follow my advice.

    • Thanks, and seriously, the fact that you people even bother with me makes me feels better, so feel good about yourself too, today you helped someone, or at least tried

  • If you don't have confidence in yourself people can read that, So just be that person that you want to be and don't worry about whether people actually percieve you to be that way. if you practice being who you want to be, eventually you'll be that. I'd also recommend focusing on your grades and your health.

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    • I've been confident and happy, and then i've been like i am now, depressed and insecure, none of them have changed my life that much

  • You might just be one of those people who grow up ugly and just end up becoming good looking later on in life. More like after. high school

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    • Haha thanks i wish, but no not really, my face is very defined and sadly that's just how it is

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    • I don't get it, what do you mean exactly?

    • Message and I'll explain for you.

  • there is more to life than sex and dating..

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  • Ugly or no if u r good person and have good personality everything will be fine and anyone tell u r ugly tell kiss my ass

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    • that's née thinking but makes no sense, i try to be a good person , but that has never gotten me a single girl to like me back, or a lot of friends or alive i feel is worth living

    • Bro bealive it or not I look like Andy Garcia and I'm single for more than 1year
      Trust me u didn't meet her yet

  • I grew up thinking I as ugly; my mother said so in a phone conversation that I walked into, "... ugly children...".

    I hit the gym and when I got out of high school, I was told I was handsome, hot, and women daydreamed about me being naked.

    Just the other day while playing basketball at the park, I was catcalled by a female and another joined my friend and I in the game.

    My point is, it might be just in your head, however it got here.

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    • Ya but iwht me it was the opposite, seriously, no amount of body fat reduction and muscle workout is going to change how horrible i am, there may be other things to be done, but im pretty out in the looks dpt

  • No one cares if you're ugly dude. Just be yourself and try to be oblivious to what other people think. Also smiling and having seem to attract more friends

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    • <Thanks but it's not about what others think, it's about me, i don't believe in me because i have no reason to

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