23 year old virgin female, never been kissed, or had a boyfriend. Am I ugly (link inside)?

Hi everyone. I'm 23 years old, recently finished my masters. I'm a female and I have never been kissed, had a boyfriend, dated, etc. I have a lot of friends from high school and college who have kids or are married, and I feel really ashamed that I have had no one. I feel like I can't get a guy to look at me. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I'm in my 20's and still have had no one like me or love me. When I was in HS, it didn't bother me that much because I thought college would change it, but it hasn't. I get really jealous of my friends too. They're husbands/boyfriends love them so much and give them everything.

Anyways, I feel very insecure and shy about the way I look. I feel ugly all of the time. I do things, like get my hair done, facials, exercise, etc. but I still feel like because I have never had a boyfriend, I'm ugly or unattractive. I can't talk to my friends about this because it's too personal and i don't want them to know. I really hope and dream that someday I'll find someone who will love me and think I'm pretty. It's what I think about at night before I sleep.

Below is a link to a recent photo of me. Can you please take the poll and give me your thoughts/feedback? I feel so low and sad right now.

http://i.imgur.com/0m8Rki8.jpg

Thank you.

  • Yes, you're ugly and weird
    0% (0)2% (1)1% (1)Vote
  • No, you're not.
    100% (30)98% (49)99% (79)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Anyways, I feel very insecure and shy about the way I look. I feel ugly all of the time. I do things, like get my hair done, facials, exercise, etc. but I still feel like because I have never had a boyfriend, I'm ugly or unattractive."

    Worst attitude ever. Change that immediatly! You cannot start with this concept. Accept who you are and how you are. This is the first step.

    Having not a BF is not a reason or excuse to be unattractive or ugly because that's all relative! Someone in the future will like you.

    Have you even been invited by some boys before? Because you didn't mention that at all.

    <--- 20 Years old, virgin, never had GF or kissed somebody. Am I ugly?
    Again, that is all relative. Someone likes me (not, that I know), someone does not. I deny being torn apart to the ground. If someone has a problem with my status: Deal with it. Plain and simple. Why? Because I carry my responsabilities. Because I choose my own destiny. Because I do not follow somebody else but make my own decisions in life. Because someone will regret, what they did and I avoided it.

    Hope this helps :)

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What Guys Said 31

  • You forgot to include option C in your poll.. C = Beautiful.

    You are beautiful. Your looks are not keeping guys away.

    Maybe some of your friends know some guys that are single and that have similar interests to you. They could introduce them to you over coffee or something and let you get to know each other.

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  • It's not your looks, you're actually gorgeous. You're like an 8-9 honestly.
    Couple of reasons you might be in this situation.

    -you have such low-self esteem you're unknowingly pushing guys away that might be interested.
    It's kinda like how guys feel when they don't lose their virginity early. It becomes this weird thing that dominates their teens.
    -you're abrasive, cold and un-personable and that pushes guys away fast.
    -guys actually do approach you but you have REALLY high standards and dismiss them.
    -every dude where you live is gay.

    Curious, so you've never connected on any level with another guy? Even as a friend?

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    • Well, my family is kind of conservative. My older brothers have friends that are girls and they can come over but I'm not really allowed to have friends with guys. It's like an unspoken rule,. Also, my mom wants me to have an arranged marriage. No, I haven't had any friends that are guys or connected with then on a close level beyond a classmate or co-worker.

  • :( oh damn I feel bad for you now, you're pretty I don't know whats wrong, I know a girl who's very pretty too, she has never dated anyone that i can remember, she gets a lot of attentions from social media but nobody asks her out or wants to Date her, well she's really robotic (like no emotions at all, only public fake faces) but I don't think that's your case, you must scare guys by the way you act, guys won't go away if they know how you feel about them, it's not like with girls, so you should try to be honest with the guy you like, that helps a lot, I can tell you that works with me.

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  • noooo

    the reason you have never been kissed has nothing to do with your appearance of course... ;-)

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  • There should have been an option for "No you look like a supermodel". To me you look like a perfect woman. Honestly you look like one of those people who are so good looking that guys are scared to approach. What u need to do is from now on when you see a guy who u think looks attractive and like a nice person, you MUST maintain eye contact, and smile! Otherwise u run the risk of people assuming that ur stuck up- because ur so good looking theyll think that ur stuck up before considering that u mig be shy

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    • Really though, if I saw u in my area I would defo try and ask u out. Wow.
      Also maybe u should find out if there's any speed dating events near you and attend one of them, its an easy and convenient way to meet people, and they will all be there for the same thing

  • I'd say you're fairly pretty like 7/10 or 8/10 but you're older than me and I'm into slightly younger girls so I'm sure that guys your age would find you more attractive. You look and sound very smart so you should be able to find a nice smart guy who really likes you. It's definitely not your appearance what's holding you back. Are you too cold to guys? Maybe you should be more cheerful? Do you meet new people? Go to social events such as parties/conventions. Don't worry about never meeting a guy, I am sure that you will find a guy who will fall in love with you.

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  • You're okay looks wise. Problem lies elsewhere, likely something to do with personality.

    A good start is to check some of your female friends that have husbands/boyfriends and have a deep analysis of what makes you different from them in terms of views, beliefs, actions etc, everything that comes down to personality and appearance (not looks wise, but how you present yourself) to new people etc.

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  • holy poop you call that ugly hahaha wait untill you have seen me... there is no way on earth your ugly at all
    you need some more confidence darling, maybe try on-line dating coz women hold all the power on those sites and you'll get kissed quickly enough

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  • You describe in your question what your problem is. ''I feel very insecure and shy about the way I look...''
    If you don't stop thinking like this, you will never find someone. You must work on your confidence and body language. Attraction is mostly based on body language. Your poll shows that men find you pretty indeed but when you meet them you have to be confident about yourself. Otherwise they will go about someone else.

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  • Your looks aren't the problem.
    Your self esteem and confidence are.
    And add shyness to it and you're in for a boring single life.

    Gain some confidence.
    Change your outlook on life and try to be more social.

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  • Your attractive and see no reason you can't find a guy
    the only reason you never been kissed cause most likely
    your self esteem is low and your scaring guys away

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  • I am surprised you're all of the things you listed. You probably don't put yourself out there enough.

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  • The fact that you of all people feel ugly is pretty depressing. Relationships are weird. They happen for some a lot easier than for others. Eventually I'm sure you'll have one. Your looks are not the problem, that's for sure.

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  • If you're ugly then I'm uglier than a pig.
    You should better work on your personality, behaviour and self-esteem.
    (Don't mind but I think you're compliment hunter)

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  • You're hot. Masters at age of 23... Maybe you've been busy doing your studies and neglected your personal romantic life.

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  • This question must be fake.
    There is no way.
    She is too pretty.
    Everything is lies.

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  • Wow, you're gorgeous! How are you single? And how has nobody ever kissed you?

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    • obviously I must be unattractive if I'm 23 and have never dated or been kissed.

    • Show All
    • No, I've been asked out twice, but only in undergrad. It was by two guys I was uninterested in and would try to avoid. They were both shorter than me (I'm 5'7") and socially awkward. They kind of made me feel uncomfortable too.

    • Lol, ok again that has nothing to do with you personally. Whatever you do don't just settle, go on dates, test the waters, and sooner or later you will find the one.

  • You r good to me... In fact I wanna date with u.. If u live near my neighbor...
    N believe me I m also virgin never been kissed or dated by any girls

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  • Fish more :)

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  • Wow U'r A Quite Attractive Girl , & I can't beleave U haven't drawn the Attention of Several guys by now. I'd be happy to have U in my life !!

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  • Well there you go... Every single person who had seen this says you're either pretty or beautiful. So, maybe you're thinking of yourself as ugly has somehow transferred into body language and the way you treat guys.

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  • you must be bat shit crazy, a complete bitch, or have a very standoffish attitude. because your very attractive. guys arnt coming on to you because of your looks.. must be something else

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  • No you really cute and im a guy 23 and never had a girlfriend

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  • You are just fine. Don't worry

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  • You are not ugly I am I say you are a 6 will you rate me thanks

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  • i can't view it anymore

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  • Your looks are not why you are single. You are probably single because you have never asked a guy out

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  • You are gorgeous.. how tall are you?

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  • Wow you're beautiful. I am 22 year old guy, never had a girlfriend, and I have barely lost my virginity this year. Don't be so hard on yourself :). It's honestly better to be with someone who you really like than some random person. And no you are not a loser.

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  • You've got gorgeous eyes... just bat those pretty lashes at a guy and he'll be head over heels in no time

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What Girls Said 7

  • I think you are beautiful,

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  • I'm sure there have been guys who've asked you out but you rejected them. I understand your feels tho - guys rarely approach South Asian women. You're going to have to muster up the courage, take initiative and start approaching them yourself.

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    • Yeah, you're right about guys not asking out South Asian girls. It really stinks! I wish it wasn't like that.

  • There is someone for everyone. You were not put on this earth to be alone. When you don't look for love, that's when it shows up. Relax be you, and take it day by day.
    I didn't get the link but im sure your very pretty. Everyone who took the pole says so, so, my best advice is to know that there's someone on this earth waiting to be with a wonderful person like you (:

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  • You're not weird or a loser , you just need confidence & to relax a little bit, oh & you're really pretty

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  • You are beautiful. Watch the movie Amelie.

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  • You're not ugly at all, you're really pretty.

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  • Have all the guys of the world turned Gay?

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    • No, I'm single.

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    • In my locals? Not good.

      A GF has to be a special one, not just some random Anastasia (Apologies ladies with the first-name Anastasia, no offence!) from the streets.

    • Then whom do you wanna date like someone from different nationality like the Asker?

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