How do I accept the fact that I'm ugly?

All my life I've been told I'm ugly or unattractive or that my body isn't attractive. When I was chubby I was made fun of for that, when I was thin I had no ass and hardly any boobs. Now I'm just fat and people aren't afraid to tell me so. I'm just so ugly. Guys tell me to get rid of my glasses, to wear more makeup (I wear enough), to lose weight etc. I've had two boyfriends and even though they would tell me I'm beautiful and get turned on by my body I still feel hideous.
How can I come to terms with just being unattractive?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't need to worry about what people think of you. People are assholes. Just smile. Everybody looks better, with a smile! Stop focusing on the things that you don't like about yourself, and focus on what you do like about yourself. Make sure you smile though.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Well you don't seem like you're actually a monster. Sounds like all the "I'm so ugly" thoughts come from the opinions of others. It's tough to get over negative comments from others, especially for a young gal like yourself, a girls self esteem is more fragil than cup made of thin glass.

    But what I suggest you do is stop giving a fuck what other people say. You ever see those big girls that think they're cute? You know the ones going out to parties and what not with their skinny friends, people always telling them "Bitch, you ain't cute, stop acting like it" those girls don't give a fuck, AT ALL.

    I think not giving a fuck is easier than trying to gain confidence. When you tell someone to not give a fuck you're basically saying "You know what, you may be as ugly as you say, you may not be. But who gives a fuck? How are you supposed to enjoy yourself when you care about every little negative comment made about you?". Trying to give someone confidence is saying this "You are beautiful, no matter what anyone says, you need to learn to love yourself" Do people really expect someone who thinks they're the scum of the earth physically to believe that nonsense lol?

    So I suggest you practice the "I don't give a fuck" mentality.

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    • Sometimes I do have that mentality. When a guy tells me I'm too fat to date or have sex with I try to think "whatever" but those things get engraved into my mind and i can't just say I don't give a fuck to them, ya know? But I'll try your approach again. Thank you.

    • They only get engraved into your brain if you let them. Like I said, look at those big ass bitches that are out having a good time. You don't think they constantly get told how unattractive they are? Keep on trying that method, then maybe you can move on to confidence from there.

      Good luck

  • There's plenty of guys out there who would want you. If you think that's not true than just think about your two exes. I think you have to come to terms with the fact that you'll always feel a little self conscious. Girls are attracted to me and I've been with a lot of them but there's always days you feel unattractive. I have a six pack and some days it's more visible based on what I eat etc and I'm still self conscious about numerous other things. I think it is just evolution keeping us on our toes. Don't expect to be 100% happy with yourself, just be happy and enjoy life and NEVER let your insecurities hold you back from what you want.

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    • This was really helpful. Thank you :)

    • Anytime, just remember that your not alone in this.

  • Go to the gym and lose weight, get some nice clothes, get a nice her style. You can always do this to improve your look. Stop complaining about how you look, go do something about it. If you think your ugly, then your actions will follow your thoughts. its that simple.

    The main reason you feel the way you do, is because you keep seeking people's opinion of yourself. What people think of you, shouldn't matter. Why don't you live your life, the way you think it should, and the way you feel about yourself.

    Why are you living the life, of what others are saying about you. Jeez if everyone lived like you did, no one would achieve anything.
    You can't better than arnold schwarzenegger. Take a leaf out of his book.
    When people said: "We never want to look like you" - Arnold replied: "Don't worry, you never will"

    Get grip and take control of what you think of yourself

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    • This +100. Great response dude, and I love that Arnold quote.

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    • There is saying, discipline weighs ounces, and regret weighs tonnes. I suggest you start working on setting yourself small goals everyday, and achieving them, even if they are very small, and then work your way up. Thats the only you will buid your self-esteem. It won't come to you on a plate.

    • The other thing which is wrong, you will never get confidence by seeking others people opinion of you. So just forget it. you will only get Confidence, by achieving things for yourself, doing things which make you feel good. E. g getting top marks in your exams in university, will build your confidence. If like playing the piano, and getting all your grades 1-8, will improve your confidence. So start doing things that make you feel good about yourself. And not worrying what others think of you, confidence will never come through other people. IT JUST WON'T HAPPEN THAT WAY.

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N0yXGVWS1Y

    This could help! But, seriously stop, you are just like any other 13 to 25 year old woman with self esteem problems. As soon as you stop thinking so badly about yourself, the sooner you'll see you aren't as ugly as you think.

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    • Omg! This was hilarious. Thank you.

  • www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1229586-how-do-you-respond-to-being-called-ugly once you find the answer let me know because we're in the same boat -__-

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    • I say "whatever" and laugh.
      Then I go home and laugh while crying.

    • Lmao I'm learning, I'm learning

  • This may not directly help you, and you may sneer at first, but I wrote a little take on something that might help you out: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a7657-consider-sleeping-naked

    Spending time naked with yourself is an excellent way to start with connecting with your body and loving it.

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    • Oh thank you but I did read the take before but I can't sleep naked or spend much time naked because I live with my brother, my dad & my mom.

    • I do too. Just have clothes and/or robe by your bed and put it on before you leave bed. Iotherwise you're under the covers so... live with my family too and have no issues. I mean my parents don't like it but they can't force me to stop. They have now come to terms with it.

    • Just to clarify, and my dad only knows because he's seen my clothes on the floor so he was able to deduce that I was sleeping nude but he never actually saw me so.

  • 2 bf/gf is still 2 more than me :)

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    • It's because I take initiative I guess :/

  • If you really are, then it'll come with time and it will depress you. Dont sweat it mate, I'm with you. There are many out there like us. Best just to get by in life. Try to keep yourself busy. It'll slip your mind and you'll forget about it.

    Try to enjoy and make the best out of the other things in life. Make money, look forward to vacations, hang out with friends, buy things you've always wanted.

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  • Hey, I am a unattractive guy.. people always try to get rid of me.. I spend a lot of my time alone but I learned after years of being alone I like myself.. even if people don't want me around.. I just except it.. move on that is my best advice. Become great at something.. like singing or study hard and get a degree.. you will have a lot of free time on your hands as do I..

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  • Don't accept it. Try to do everything you can to look better - losing weight and getting in shape would be a good start in your case. If you can get rid of glasses, do it. Then there is make-up and clothes, which may help as well. Just don't give up on yourself.

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  • Ok maybe you are ugly, who cares there is nothing you can do about it. I won't say it doesn't matter because looks do matter. From people naturally liking a beautiful person more to getting promoted eaiser and making more money, it has a tangible effect. The biggest problem by far is your insecurity, that will destroy any hope of achieving something. So just accept that you look like what you look like and just worry about your mindset. A positive view of yourself will make you tons happier.

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  • Today's standards are ridiculous and most models are Photoshop enhanced.
    Be happy with who you are, people will judge and can be shallow, but being confident in yourself brings out the best in you. Love yourself and everything else falls into place. :)

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  • Noone is ugly in this life. Everything and everyone is beautiful. People just need to find the beautiful thing on everyone. All people have some beautiful parts. Every people are unique!

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    • I believe in this too! But I'm scared not everyone thinks this way and only see the ugly parts about me.

    • Well you shouldn't care about that people.
      Just like and love yourself. You should be at peace with yourself :)

  • Sure, it makes life easier. there's someone out there for you.

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  • Lose weight and get a boob job.

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    • Pay for gym membership and surgery bills, buddy.

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    • I find people more approachable when walking their dog.

    • Actually I do walk my dogs pretty often.
      No one in my town would hire me for that though...

  • if you love and respect yourself people will see that and want to be around you. Be healthy and confident!

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  • go to the gym

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  • Put stock in who you are not what you think you look like. Don't waste your life with shallow stuff. Life is not about what most of society tells you.

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  • post a pic of yourself babe;)

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    • You sound like a creep. I'm a regular user who has posted a few photos of herself on here but I don't want this question to make other users look down on me or my future opinions on the site.

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    • is real! :)

    • you gonna email me?

What Girls Said 16

  • It's normal for any human being to want to be attractive on the outside, but really who you are as a person should be your primary focus. Once it becomes the primary focus, even on days where you're feeling especially unattractive, it won't actually affect your self-esteem. Genuine self-esteem is built on being secure with who you are on the inside. Recognizing your flaws and working on them while still appreciating your positives. Being a good person is what makes you truly valuable. And it's really important to know your value.

    So while it's totally okay to continue working on improving your external appearance (as long as you're balanced about it and don't get obsessive or overboard doing so), the primary focus should be on improving yourself internally, and as you do so your self-esteem will rise.

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    • I suppose that makes sense. Thank you.

  • You don't need to accept your ugly, you need to find away to find yourself beautiful. It sounds like a cliché but its true. You don't need to please anyone with your looks, if you're happy with the way you dress, the amount of make up you wear, the way you wear your hair, then you're doing it right. If you're not happy with it, there's nothing wrong with a makeover as long as you're doing it for yourself. There's someone for everyone, some of us have it harder than others, but you'll meet people who aren't such assholes and who will like you for you.

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  • Ignore what other people say and take control of your happiness. If you feel ugly, do something about it. Those two guys obviously saw something in you that made you beautiful in their eyes. So stop complaining. I'm sorry if this comes off as rude or mean, but I can't tolerate someone that sits and complains about something that could be easily fixed. This is something my mother taught me. So take my advice. Do something about it. When I caught myself breaking out and gaining weight, I went right to work. I took extra precautions on my face. I bought face peels, more face wash, cleansers, concealers... You name it! And I got my ass up and a forced myself to work out! That was my way to happiness. Now I suggest you take my words and mull them over carefully. I'm telling you this because I believe everyone has the power to alter a bad situation into a good one. Especially when it comes to happiness. Happiness is the easiest thing to fix. Other stuff, not so much.

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  • the rite guy will like u for u not ur shape, weight, eye vison etc . keep telling urself ur beautifull. i put post its on my mirror of my good things so i don't keep thinking about my bad habbits + other bad stuff.

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  • There isn't such a thing of being unattractive. As you said you attracted some guys, so that makes the word unattractive as false. Not being pretty is a matter of perspective. Some paintings are wonderful to some people, and to others are just average, or even unappealing. Confidence is what makes other people to see you as attractive. So instead of working on your look, work on your inner side. That way you would feel confidence and people will see that. There is nothing more attractive, at least to me, that someone that knows what they want, and like them self.

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  • No you dont have to accept that fact, because it isn't a fact.
    I had a guy friend who told me i should put on make up , but the thing is it is just not me. I believe without make up i still look attractive. So you need to build up on your self confidence.
    Don't listen to those boys or guys.
    You must have something attractive in you.

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  • I'm sure you aren't unattractive. It's hard to love yourself, especially when people point out our imperfections. Thing of it is we ALL have imperfections or things we don't like about ourselves. You should try to ignore them and each day give yourself a compliment. Easier said than done, I know. Hang in there Chicky.

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  • You should stop seeking acceptance from others.
    You'll find that you can be a much happier being once you realize your own self-worth.

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    • I obviously don't have much self worth.

    • You do. Each person has value and serves a purpose in this life.

  • Seek ways to become more confident?
    You've had two boyfriends.
    You being unattractive is all in your head.

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    • I don't know about that...

  • You'll never accept it. Someone will find you beautiful and you'll smack yourself for being so negative. Or you'll just stop caring one day when your life gets busy.

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    • My boyfriends thought I was beautiful and I still felt unattractive and ugly.

  • You don't have to listen to what ever they tell you, if you accept your ugly then you will feel ugly forever.

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  • Who told this shit anyway?

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    • Eh, probably some stupid ass punk!! You are beautiful the way you are ☺️

    • Guys I was interested in and guys I wasn't interested in all tell me these things even when I don't ask...

    • Then how do you know they say it if you don't ask?

  • You don't. There is somebody for everybody

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  • no one is ugly on that earth... we are always special for someone... so try to find that guy

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  • You must have other things to keep occupied? This obsession with appearances has to stop. You have no self love. Try meeting others who have their faces burnt or bashed. You're too self absorbed to the point, that you are really ungrateful about life in general.

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    • I'm not ungrateful of my life. I'm well off financially, have awesome friends and am working towards a good career. I'm just ugly.

    • Only in the west, people have a huge issue not looking pretty.

    • Okay?

  • Being healthy helps. I don't necessarily mean losing weight, if you're fine as you are, but I struggle a lot with body image too. What really helps me is cutting out junk food and getting exercise. Even though I haven't seen a change in weight, I feel a lot better and perceive myself better, too. It just feels good!

    Try to see yourself as beautiful even if people are saying otherwise, because it sounds like you've got a lot of nasty people in your life and I'm not sure how honest they're being with you.

    Most importantly, be comfortable with who you are as a person. Think of all your awesome personality traits, improve on yourself if you want (by studying or practicing a talent or whatever), appreciate yourself. Looks don't feel as important when you know you have a great personality and you have better things to do than worry about your appearance, you know?

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