Do looks matter to women or more on the personality?

Hey everyone!

I was wondering if you find looks more important then personality. I know this is generic question but I am on the more talkative side then looks. I got those beautiful chubby cheeks, small nose, etc. Personally I could not care how people think, but I do have those things called feelings. Also, I have been laughed at for how I looked in grade school and for being in classes for dyslexia. So maybe there is a bit of low self-esteem lingering in my mind. Opi ions would be great. Would like to have insight and encouragement.

If I rambled forgive me :)

Updates:
To ma y good answers. Thank you all.
Wow 100+ comments :) I picked one, not because it was the most useful but because there is so many to pick from. Thank you all

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personality=love
    Looks=physical attraction
    Ability to flirt+ a lot confidence= Sex appeal

    In order for me to consider going on a date with a guy he's got to have two of the above (personality being one of them) and a LITTLE bit of the third. I. e I wouldn't date a hot guy who had seriously low self-esteem but neither would I date someone who is seriosuly unattractive even if they had charisma.

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    • Like e. g Sherlock from the series, physically is he hot? NO. But the way he behaves makes me feel id rather be with him than any male model on earth

What Girls Said 114

  • I think it's like 40% looks and 60% personality for me. Having a good personality is great and all, but I have to be attracted to the guy physically for me to want to be in a relationship with him, too. That doesn't mean that he has to look like a model, though. Most of the guys I've liked have looked completely different from each other. And what I find attractive, someone else might find unattractive, and vice versa. And usually, as I get to know a guy, he becomes more and more attractive to me (physically) if he has an amazing personality.

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  • Do looks matter to women or more on the personality?
    I find looks matter to gals but not as much as personality or more than personality.

    "Would like to have insight and encouragement."
    Some possible encouragement is than since you're a seemingly hetero male not having looks isn't really as big as a disadvantage it would be if you were gay or a gal. As a guy you seemingly get to slide on looks as gals are less visual, seemingly more realistic than guys in regards to attractiveness of a partner, and more willing to drop looks for personality/wealth/status/excitement. The main issue of looks could come into play for you if you were seeking solely sex.

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    • Being less visual is a social construct. Women like good looking guys height and defined jaw lines and muscles. All this things are looks.

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    • It doesn't matter either way and I doubt lesbians are less visual then straight guys same thing straight females and gay guys. One in same.

    • @heyhey90 Being less visual doesn't mean NOT visual. It just means looks don't matter AS MUCH.

  • Personality is far more important than looks to me (Of course many may disagree.. everyone's opinions are their own) but looks do matter to extents. By that I mean that if you don't put any effort into your hygiene or appearance then it might show that you just don't care enough about yourself so why would you care about me? I guess. I don't know. Particular features are not required or anything. You don't need a perfect body, abs, huge muscles, flawless face, or anything like that. You are who you are and the right person's going to love you for who you are entirely. Your appearance is part of you. It's just not the most important part of you :) At least I don't think so. Anyways.. the chubby cheeks thing.. I struggle with that too. It can make you look younger but it's like ugh... why. sometimes. :) Just have to embrace 'em. It's going to be okay. I promise you that. If you're not ugly on the inside it's not possible to be ugly on the outside. To me ugliness has to do with personality. Everyone's beautiful and handsome in their own ways :) You're perfect the way you are.

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  • Honestly a girl is lying if she says looks don't matter at all because she would probably say no to an ugly guy. But it's all subjective, every guy I have ever liked my friends thought he was ugly. A guy I liked for a long time (didn't want to do a long distance with him so we never dated) wasn't attractive, he was okay but I preferred how we connected on a personal basis. I loved the conversations that we had and how he made me feel. So to me personality is a lot more important but I won't he Holier than Thou and say that looks aren't important.

    If a guy is super hot but he's super arrogant and cocky than there's no way in hell I'd even consider him. Same with if he's rude or boring. If I can't click with your personality then chances are that I'm not going to consider you for a second date.

    Now if a guy is super sweet but he doesn't take care of himself and doesn't make an effort to ever look nice, well I wouldn't want to date him either because he doesn't care enough to take care of himself.

    Do I make sense? Sorry if this wasn't direct enough but like I said, it's all very subjective.

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  • A guy needs to have a personality that clicks with the girls. If our impression of you is that you're weird and can't hold a conversation then we won't be attracted to you. I've had HUGE crushes on guys who my friends thought were ugly and weird. But when you like someone's personality, everything about them becomes attractive.(as cliche and it sounds it is really true)

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  • I can't really state what women in general think, i can only give you my personal take. For me the feeling of a person is the main thing, it's not really looks or personality. It's about feeling comfortable and accepted by them, i think it's called charm. Some men are charming, they are kind and generous with others and they don't judge. For me this is hugely attractive.

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  • Nooooo
    Personality matters more than looks believe me id rather be with an alright looking guy who has a great funny personality always fun to talk to to joke around be a dork with :) then someone who is hot and has a horrible attitude and is cocky !!

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  • Personality is more important than your look. You can deceive people by your look but not by your personality. Just be yourself if you want to find someone who loves you just the way you are. Even though you must improve yourself to be a better person for the sake of the one you love. It's two-way relationship.

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  • I think does matter to a certain extent. But I think personality deff overrules tho. I think if there is more to a person, u grow to love them. Nobody is perfect and nobody should strive to be. Beauty is in the beholder's eyes. I don't want a hot guy with no personality. I rather have someone with a personality any day. hope I helped.

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  • Both looks and personality are important to me.

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  • I hate it when people say its shallow to only care about looks. There is a difference between having your preferences about someone's physical and their physical being the only thing you care about (even if they're an asshole). I'm obviously going to want to date someone who I'm attracted to physically. But at the end, you have to love their personality too. The body ages but the spirit never does.

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  • For me its all about personality babe. You could look like Morris Chestnut and still be an ass. What women find sexy is confidence, be confident in yourself. Show off your intelligent, fun and funny side and looks won't matter. You'll be great to be around. Personally, I like men who can hold a great stimulating conversation.

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  • Looks matter to an extent, but if you've got the personality of a crumbling rock then you're... nothing. I wouldn't say that looks are SUPER important, as there have been guys that I haven't been attracted to and then I get to know them and they're some of the more attractive guys I've met in my opinion.

    But they do factor in.

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  • Both matter. But before you meet someone, looks are obviously everything, since you don't have access to their personality. So looks attract you to someone and then once you get to know them, the personality confirms your attraction. by the way if you think you look fine, who cares what other people think

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  • Physical attraction is important in a romantic relationship. If I'm just attracted to a personality then they make a great friend.

    I wouldn't like a jerk who was cute but I won't be attracted to a guy I'm not attracted to just bc I like him.

    But people tend to get used to seeing others relative to them.

    You can always find someone around similar attractiveness.

    Usually when people say they can't find anyone bc of their looks , they are dismissing a lot of people for their looks.

    Also physical Attraction. As in attraction you feel as well as see. It develops for everyone the more they like a person. You just need a spark. Not even a big one. And an open mind.

    I'm probably not as open as I should be. I'm 21 and only ever like one person.

    Now we've started dating and I feel ridiculous bc I have no experience.

    If I had a do over I'd do it differently:-)

    Be more open and less affected by initial twenty second reaction.

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  • Honestly, looks are what get the girls attention. You aren't gonna look across a room, see a chick sitting there, and the first thing you think is "wow, what a beautiful personality she has". No, you go "damn nice boobs/ass/hair" what ever it is that does it for you. But THAT is what's gonna get you to notice her and walk over. Same for women. So yeah, looks are important. However, and here's where everyone is different, you find out that chick is a complete bitch and drama queen. Chances are you'll back off. There is only so much boobs and ass can make up for. Again, same for women. We do NOT like douche bags. At all. I don't care how hot you are, if you're an ass, you're instantly dropped to the gross meter.
    Looks are what makes us interested, personality are what makes us stay.

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  • Well, looks don't last forever. One day, you're gonna be old and decrepit just like everyone else in the world... A nice personality will stick with you for life. <3

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  • I have to get to know someone before I'm attracted to them, so by then I wouldn't really care about what they look like, (For example: I used to know this guy who had a ridiculously large nose, but after I got to know him I thought his nose was cute)
    But someone else would probably have to be attracted to someone before they get to know them personally
    It just depends on the person.

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  • Whoever says looks don't matter is a damn liar. I'm sorry but it's true. Of course personality should come before looks but looks is a very big part of it. Looks is the reason you become attracted to that person in the first place. If somebody fat, long unkept hair, with pimples all over their face went up to you and said "Hey I'm so and so nice to meet you" you would think they're a creep and you would want them to go away. But if somebody who was absolutely gorgeous went up to you and said the very same thing you would be like holy shit they must like me and you would start a conversation with them.
    So looks is a huge part of getting that person, but personality is what makes them stay.

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  • Looks are important yes. No girl is going to be with a guy she finds unattractive. The good part is, what a girl finds attractive differentiates so much that there will be someone who does find you attractive. However personality is definitely MORE important than looks. It's easy to be with a guy who has even what you consider to be average looks but a great personality. But most girls won't be with a guy who is a 10/10 of he is a douche

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  • I think both matter, because you can't be in a relationship with a person you don't feel attracted. But also, you can't love someone just because that person is good looking.

    But sometimes, when you start to fall in love with a person, you start to find that person even more beautiful.

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  • Personality is more important to me. Of course tgere will also be women who like the way you look. At first you see looks but when I get to know someone I previously wadn't attracted to, I start to find them attractive. Being in love brings out the best in you! Good luck😄

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  • Confidence, humor, and just a good personality are the most important things in my opinion. Looks, to me, are a plus if you have them. Though I can't speak for anyone else. A good woman, someone you're meant to be with, will like you for you with no reserves. So just be yourself and don't worry about what anyone says.

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  • This question has been asked too many times before andhere i am still answering it. Do looks matter to me? I guess not. I look more on a person's personality, if he is nice, god fearing, honest and faithful then he is beautiful for me. Physical appearance is never important to me. A loving person with a beautiful heart is more than beautiful in my eyes.

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  • I'll be very honest with you.

    Looks don't matter to me, AT ALL. I've been through so much shit. I don't even care anymore. I would pick a guy with a great personality over a model. As long as I'm attracted to him/his personality, am okay with it. But do some shitty stuff to me or hurt me and I'll leave right away.

    Trust me, good girls won't look at your imperfections and the way you look.

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  • Objective attractiveness and perceived attraction are 2 totally different things. If your funny, kind, confident and act like a gentleman, that makes you massively more valued and attractive to us, trust me.

    For example, I'd normally admit to being sort of shallow but last year there was this guy that at first I wasn't at all interested in who I ended up dating because his personality was amazing, unfortunately he trend out to be a douche but that's another story

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  • Both are equally important to me.

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  • Both matter. However, personality matters much more to me. If a man with a brilliant personality happens to also be very good looking then that is a bonus; however, even if a man is handsome or hot or whatever but his personality is trash then I wouldn't look twice.

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  • looks are fine, but personality is EVERYTHING..

    From grade school to college my bf was the sexiest thing walking in my book (& the books of most other females) .. but i didn't turn into a swan until my sophomore year in hs & didn't fully blossom until college. But i always just thought he was just a looker with a tough exterior. When he finally pursued me (even though he said he'd been eyeing me since my freshman year in h. s.) i found that his personality made him look more like ADONIS. he's smart, funny, artistic, talented & goofy, just like me.

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  • Honestly, in most cases, looks so matter. They always have been, therefore they always will matter. It isn't a bad thing because if you've got great looks and a horrible personality, that's how people will label you. But, if you're not the hottest person with a great/amazing personality, people will credit you for it. Having a great personality always comes after looks and that's just how it goes for most people. You shouldn't worry about the way you look. If you're a confident, funny guy, any girl would be lucky to have you in their life. :)

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 26

  • Its easy to believe that all girls want the male model type and its easy to believe all guys are jerks and players but this is not always the case. Just be comfortable with who you are and stop giving a fuck if women will think you are hot because of this or ugly because of that. If all else fails just be funny lol.

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  • It's about money and power.

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  • i admit... looks are more important for me ;-P

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  • I've heard "you have an awesome personality, but I'm just not attracted to you" more often than "I'm attracted to you, but just not your personality", so I'm going to say the girls are shallow more often than not, but won't admit it because they don't want to sound like it.

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  • duh,.. prostitution

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  • As it is with everyone, physical attraction comes first, personality second.

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    • BUT THEY ARE BOTH IMPORTANT. You can't just have one and not the other.

  • Looks attract, personality keeps

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  • Looks are far more important. It's not optional and completely subconscious.

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  • They are both important. Girls want guys who look good to THEM. So you could be laughed at for your looks to some but have a great personality that cliques with the girl, then you would look good to her in her eyes :)

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  • Its strength, and half personality and half looks.

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  • looks. that's why I've never had a girlfriend in my life.

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  • you gotta have somethng...

    if your not good looking, be educated, socially saavy, high earner, or just someone of value.,

    also, women look at the whole package.

    but to answer your question, i think women care about looks just as much

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  • they dont care about personality nearly as much

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  • There's a reason shirtless pics are so popular on online dating sites. They work. After that, then you actually have to talk to women and that's when it gets a little 'hairy'

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  • For girls the attractiveness of a man is in his personality and wallet!!!

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  • Personality of course! if you have good looks you need cool personality to back it up! so yeah... personality is more preffered!

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  • Looks are the first thing because it draws the attention from far away.

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  • looks matter more for me since i am young, but i guess when you get older id say personalty 100%

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  • Personality which is why they hate bitch fay guys

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  • Looks definitely give you a head start but rest is determined by attitude.

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  • yes. and personality wise you better be an overconfident champ.

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  • Women unconsciously put a higher value on status. Social, financial, etc. Often that's all there deducing when talking to you and getting to know your personality as they call it. The good news is even if your unattractive you can climb the status ladder and get high quality women.

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  • Its all bout the money hunni.

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  • Neither they just want one big huge dick.

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  • At this point I believe it's looks. Sometimes they don't give the guy a fair chance to show he can offer more

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  • Looks are. Don't let them fool you.

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    • For guys and girls. Girls just have a harder time admitting it.

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