Does being dark skinned automatically make me ugly?

I'm Tara... unfortunately.. im not as pretty as my name sounds... I'm 5'3 thick.. not flabby.. even tho I feel fat.. I have dark brown eyes.. dark cocoa skin and neck length black hair... Growing up I've always heard from my family (siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents) even my own mother and father when ever they get upset or are frustrated these same words cone out ta each of their mouths "you ugly black ( witch.. or b-word or skank)... it especially hurts cause my family is all brighter than me from caramel to high yella... and the way I see it... when a beautiful or pretty girl gets yelled at or picked on... the word ugly doesn't come to her because she's beautiful... they find another word... but anyways.. when standing next to someone lighter than me or Caucasian , my skin tone is hideously black.. then I find a mirror.. to compare myself to others who are flawlessly beautiful and I see ugliness.. black and ugly... And I'm tired of being used by guys... they see I'm ugly and dark... they flatter me with compliments... to use me for money or my car or even try sex but never do they want to love a dark skinned ugly girl... just use me.. so they can respect and marry someone beautiful... I m glad I'm able to get this out... cause I can't say this in real life... no one can understand where I'm coming from... but thanks for listening and reading.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hon, Why on earth would you think that your skin color makes you ugly? What really makes a person ugly is the what they act and treat people! Your family members for example who filled your head with this kind of garbage just might fit that bill! Sorry you had to live with that growing up, people especially family can say some of the dumbest things.

    You sound like you have a sweet personality and spirit (a little wounded right now), so physically you could be as ugly as the proverbial mud fence yet still be beautiful! I don't even have an idea of what you even look like or what shade of any color, (green? = ] ) it doesn't matter. What matters is how we treat oneanother, you sound like a really nice person who'll make some guy really proud to have you as his girl. Don't ever let anyone sell you short of anything but that!.

    You know you might be used by guys because you believe what you've been told that you're ugly, so you settle for the first guy who looks your way. Right? Don't settle for just any guy, pick the guy. Make sure he's a nice guy in the first place not some abuser cruising for another victim.

    Start believing in yourself. Start looking for the good in yourself, others will see and recognize it when you believe it!

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What Guys Said 10

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  • black women really need to get over this light skin vs dark skin crap honestly. I have a black girl in my class who uses this excuse every time someone does something to her. We already have enough skin discrimination as is... we don't need shade discrimination also. The shade of your skin has little bearing in the dating world. If a guy won't date you, he probably doesn't date black women period, because he doesn't find them to his liking.

    If you live your life using your colour as crutch, you will live a mediocre life well into your final days. I've seen many dark skinned women out there getting guys to respect them, so i don't really buy this whole mantra that dark skinned women have it so tough. The point of sympathy I have you concerns how your parents treat you. That really isn't good parenting in my eyes. But there is nothing hideous about being black. For the life of me, i don't know how you can stand next to a white person and see yourself as inferior just because you look different. They probably don't even see you that way, but your negative thoughts keep reinforcing itself to the point where you've even fooled yourself into believing it

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  • What? Dark skin does not make a person ugly. I'm white and I liked numerous black girls in school. Their looks was one of the reasons why they attracted me to begin with. And I guarantee 100% that I am not the only one who feels this way about black girls. You got a natural skin color that many millions of people have. And they are not all ugly. Majority of them are nice to look at. So don't think of yourself as an ugly girl because of your skin color. If guys have been trying to use you in one way or another then those guys are not right for you. Look for someone who will love you for who you are.

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  • of course not!!! i don't mind about skin color!

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  • Speaking of black girls this one Amber Stevens steals my dreams: www.google.com/search

    I'm sure you'll find someone who will treasure you!

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  • Mmmm.. Chocolate. Come to me. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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  • No I'm sure you are as hot as Megan fox

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  • Would love to see a pic of you

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  • Not ugly but juz lose alil bit of attractiveness

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What Girls Said 11

  • Of course not! Don't ever think that. Someone's skin color in and of itself does not determine if they are attractive or not. Beautiful women come in all colors, shapes, and sizes. There is nothing AT ALL wrong with having a darker skin tone.

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  • Being any complexion doesn't make you any prettier or uglier than anyone else. I'm chocolate brown and love my color. I'm told Im really beautiful even been recruited for modeling more than a few times. I can identify with some of how it can make you feel some type of way hearing such negativity from your own, meaning your own ethnic background. I've never had my family speak negatively about my complexion. We're all so many shades it really wouldn't make sense. I was told in my family we're above colorism. My grandmother had always seen it as a petty and ignorant person's problem. Other people outside of my family would comment about my color and my family it wouldn't always be kind things. It makes me think that brown skinned other people of brown complexion that make such negative comments about someone's color or hair texture that they hate themselves. That they have no pride or knowledge of their history, origins, or family for that matter. Just remember to be confident in yourself and love yourself inside and out and there will be people to follow suit in loving you back. Once again colorism is stupid and you should feel above it to bc you're a queen.

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  • Guys use you because of your insecurities. You feel ugly therefore you are treated that way. When I was in middle school I wasn't popular but some of the prettiest girls that all the guys liked were dark skinned chocolate girls. I know the media likes to act like you're not fine unless you red but from what I see in my daily life, I see dark girls getting a lot of love from men. If you keep yourself up and take care of yourself you can pull men. sure there are guys who have their types, but then you have to realize that for a lot of guys a chocolate girl IS their type. so don't dwell on the negative and surround yourself with positivity. if someone cracks on your skin tone, give it right back to em and shut them down. you could say that black don't crack.. you won't be looking 60 at 35... you a real black woman and aren't a diluted house slave... lol there are tons of comebacks you could use on people trying to bring you down.

    you have a lot of people in society who are happy theyre light only bc society uplifts them. but they know without the media boosting their color up, they ain't shit without it. I used to know a woman who always referenced skin color. she would talk about how "fair" and light she was and refer to anyone darker than her as dark. like ok that's true she is light and we are darker than her, but it was the way she said it like it was a big deal to her and she felt superior. well ok honey if skin tone makes you superior why are you fat, broke and miserable? light skin can't bring happiness and dark skin doesn't make you miserable. God made you in His image.

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  • There are PLENTY of pretty dark skinned girls.
    With the whole ugly thing.. families can say the nastiest things sometimes.
    When I was younger my aunt used to call me ugly every time she'd get mad at me. I know it's easier said than done, but don't take it to heart.
    If people think your ugly or inferior because of your skin color then they obviously aren't worth your time

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  • No skin color doesn't make you ugly or pretty. Trust me I'm jealous of your skin color, to me dark skin is void of imperfections, it's so easy to get imperfections with white skin. You're not ugly because of your skin color! I hope you learn to love the way you look! Your family is so mean though :(

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  • Dark skinned women can be extremely beautiful. Don't obsess over it, stop listening to stupid people, and for heavens sake don't let people use you! Chin up beautiful girl!

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  • You make vanilla skin look dull!

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  • I think its just all in your head because of what people said in the past

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  • You are crazy! I just looked on the Facebook link https://m.facebook.com/tara.jacobs.169?soft=search
    You are so pretty I wish my eyes were as big as yours and you have such nice full lips urghh im jealous why do i have to be stuck with thin lips?

    You are so so pretty but also crazy for thinking, even for a second you are not anything other than beautiful both on the outside and on the inside too it seems

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  • Absolutely not! Don't you even dare to think that! Skin color has absolutely nothing to do how "attractive" a person looks; believe it or not there's a lot of ugly light skin people LOL so don't ever let anybody tell you you're "ugly" because you're darker that is absolute bs and those people are just asses

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  • Trust me, lighties get called ugly to. And dark skin girls are actually some of the prettiest! That dark brown skin is just so... perfect (no homo)
    You have the best complexions usually to. And hello.. Lupita? And I don't really think kelly Rowland is dark skin much, but people do and she's absolutely gorgeous.
    And guys use girls regardless if the girl lets them. Every race and skin tone goes through it, nobody is immune.

    And one more thing. This is something I really really hate and find super offensive, but some guy friends have said to my face before "light skin girls and mixed girls are for sex, and black beauties are for marriage" I was kinda upset and spoke to my much older sister about it who said the same shit was around when she was young. So basically other girls are there just for fun but when he wants to settle down he'll go for a darker girl. Messed up.

    You get guys, i know lighties around your age nd even my age who have never really had a boyfriend or a guy approaching them. So trust me, it's not the skin tone.

    You're just feeling low and ugly, your confidence is crap right now, but stop it! Dark skin girls are beautiful. The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice... a phrase I'm sure many black people know, and it's around for a reason.

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