Am I really that bad that no one wants to be with me?

In hs I was rejected by my best guy friend and our friendship ended, it affected me greatly I didn't even want anything to do with guys for 9 years after that. I've had 2 friends with benefits and never developed any feelings for either and was with each one a year. Now I'm with another guy and he made it seem as if he wanted more of a relationship but we've been together just over a year and still no relationship, he calls me his friend. We get along great and have great sex and all, I've told him I have feelings for him a few weeks ago and he said we'd talk and never have so I'm guessing he doesn't feel that way for me. I just don't understand, I have a bath obsession so I bath a lot through the day so I'm not dirty or smelly, I always make sure my hair and makeup are done, I smell good and have clean clothes on etc but no one seems to want me for anything more than sex. I like to do a lot outside and have been told any guy would be lucky to have me but no one wants me. I just don't understand what it is about me that makes guys not want to be with me.
Am I really that bad that no one wants to be with me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • D'awwwww, you're too damn cute!!! First off, stop settling into the position of being a booty call (the original 'Friends With Benefits'), I know of very few people who started out as such and actually ended up with the person in the long run... Not saying it can't or doesn't happen, just that the chances aren't all that great.

    Second, it's time to cut some ties.. Don't give more to a person than they're willing to give to you. Here you are giving your all to this one person and he's not even acknowledging you, let him go. If he can't, doesn't, or just plain won't see you as more -- Find someone who will... It's not that hard, but some people get so caught up in finding that person (or those people) and lose themselves...

    Love yourself more. Go out and have fun with/by YOURSELF, look in the mirror every morning and ask "How are YOU today, [Anon's name]?", walk with your head up, and don't be afraid to smile/be happy. You're more than your body and have every right to do as you please with it, and I'm not traditionalist, but stop giving people something (such a strong sense of intimacy) that wasn't meant for *just* anybody. You're more than that and when you let people have their way, before they show you the commitment they're willing to make and where they hold you in regards to their life, you only hurt yourself... As well as encourage their behavior to a fair extent.

    You're cute, Anon, you really are, but your whole post was more from the standpoint of "What's wrong with me" ... The only thing wrong is that you care more about the perceptions others have of you before yourself... Make a list of your best assets and learn to werq. Everything will work out. *hugs*

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    • I do feel like something is wrong with me. I'm 26 and have never had a bf or any sort of relationship other than sex with a man. At first I planned to just be alone and just have a friends with benefits but after losing my baby I've realized I want all of that so bad but I don't think it's ever gonna happen. I feel I should just get back to accepting the fact that I'm gonna be alone

    • Hey, hey, hey, that quitter's mentality is ugly. You are not the first, nor will you be the last 26 year old to not have been in a relationship, most people don't even seem to get serious about being with another person until their mid-20s to mid-30s, but regardless of when it happens, you can't stall your life or be down about it.

      Love/Compliment yourself. Spoil yourself. Wine and dine yourself. To be able to enjoy your own company and not need to be dependent on someone else, especially a man who is trying to maneuver his own life, is one of the sexiest things that a person could possess and it's not physical... But, if you have that air of confidence and self-love around you, believe me -- I'm telling you what I know and what I've seen, people will be drawn to it. Stop worrying so much about the future, live for right now, or you'll end up digging yourself deeper inside of a hole that you shouldn't even be in.

What Guys Said 5

  • Try dating more, I m not surprised you haven't found the right one yet, it takes time, don't let it get to you just put yourself out there :)

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    • I have dated and still only find men who want sex. I'm great at sex apparently because I sucked a guy one time a few years ago and he still texts me wanting sex, no one wants to give me a chance to make them happy or try to even have a relationship with me.

    • Show All
    • Fixing cars and dirt biking doesn't make a guy an asshole. You can find both.

    • I like doing girly things like mess with my hair and makeup, paint my nails and stuff but other than that I'm pretty much like a guy. I grew up being stuck with the boys a lot so I like to do a lot of guy type things

  • I like your dog.

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  • WOW YOUR HUGE

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  • no point in u writing an essay, the question alone is fine... if you have to ask that question then the answer is obvious

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  • Try to reduce your belly and be fit

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What Girls Said 1

  • First and foremost you're beautiful.
    The guys you've been hanging with aren't good for you, I mean they are only using you for sex. I'd say stay away from them and stop this "Friends with benefits" ish it's only good in movies I don't believe it works at all, once a guy has you, he won't have any motivation to try to impress you or take your relationship to the next level. Now I don't think no guy wants you, you just need to find the right guy. You can try blind dates, online dating or whatever.

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    • I've done the online thing and since being interested in guys again I have gone out on dates with 8 different men. One lied and when I didn't want to see him again he told me he'd hunt me down and rape me, I was raped by another, most just quit talking to me when I didn't want to meet for sex. I used to go to bars and go out but no guys would even look at me let alone come up and talk to me. I think I'm a nice person and it don't even get a chance at all. I was fine with being alone and now I want more but no guy wants me.

    • I'm so sorry that happened to you, it must suck. One thing I've learnt is to not rush things because if you do you'll settle for less than what you deserve. Block all those people who just want sex from you. Don't go hunting for guys take it easy, someone will come especially because you're sweet.

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