I'm 19 years old and I've never even been close to asked out by a guy or asked to prom. Why do no boys ever even talk to me?

I only have a few friends. I'm not very social and I'm awkward. But I am very sweet and caring. I am passionate about volunteer work, animals, and school and I'll be at college In a few months. I'm definitely one of the quietest girls in class.

I have ZERO dating experience. I barely even talk to guys and have no guy friends. WHY DON'T BOYS EVER FLIRT OR TALK TO ME? I see them talk with other girls all the time and flirt in front of me.

All my friends have boyfriends and they all went to prom together. I Was sick of sitting alone at dances watching other people so I didn't go to my senior prom.

What's wrong with me? I thought I was average looking but I guess not. Am I not pretty enough to be asked out by a guy because I have never had ONE boy interested in me. Like have you seen someone that is the same attractiveness as me get asked out or am I just too ugly? Please be brutally honest.

I'm 19 years old and I've never even been close to asked out by a guy or asked to prom. Why do no boys ever even talk to me?





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Most Helpful Guy

  • The age range you have been in has a lot of people who are unsure of how to be social. Even the guys who are with lots of the gals are not sure and just go with what seems to be the trend. Since you have been quiet and keeping to yourself, even when with a bunch of people, they have gone right by you. You are moving into college and you will have a chance to be different and improve your life (as far as socializing with guys).

    Don't wait for someone to asks you something or talk directly with you. When you are with friends, put your opinion in more often, especially when there are guys present. If one of them says something that interests you in any way, comment on it. Make yourself part of the group rather than an outsider hanging around. If a guy you are interested in is talking about something, look right at him, showing you are listening, and smile at least some of the time.

    Being with a new school and new crowd gives you a chance to redefine yourself. Make sure you do not fall back on the habit of being on the fringe. Put yourself into the conversations. Not take them over, but contribute as much as the next person.

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    • Wow thanks that's really good advice. Yeah I can't just suddenly change and be super outgoing and say hi what's up to every guy but I can try to contribute more when I'm with my friends or make more eye contact and smile when I'm around guys.

    • Exactly!! You have it now. And you are very pretty, so you should have no trouble attracting guys as long as you are more into the social side of your life.

What Guys Said 22

  • First of all, looks don't have anything to do with it. I think you're very pretty first of all, but everything else you mentioned about yourself is most likely why you're single. Just reread what you wrote!

    Sorry if you don't wanna hear this, but it needs to be said. To be honest, girls like you seriously annoy me, expecting the guys to do 110% of the work. You're not making yourself approachable. Be MORE social, be MORE talkative! Put your stupid phone away, try and make eye contact (without gawking, staring, and making it awkward), smile :D, and try to initiate a conversation yourself! A simple "Hey! How's it going?" is all it takes to get something started!

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    • I don't think outgoing people realize how hard it is for shy people to approach a random guy and say hey how's it going and not make it award.

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    • Yeah true. Thanks I'm just socially awkward and I don't usually smile except when taking pictures. Does that make me look unapproachable?

    • Yeah it pretty much does. Just picture in your head or go in front of a mirror or something. What looks more pleasant and approachable? A straight, bland, and/or unhappy face? or a smiley happy friendly face like the ones you posted? Smiling is a way of showing interest in something and just gives you an overall better appearance. by the way, you have a very pretty smile ;)

  • Being brutally honest I'd say you're a cute girl and this is not the reason why guys don't ask you out. It's probably because you're quiet and don't talk much. I know it's your personally, but I'd recommend you to be more socially active and your chances would be increased a lot.

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    • How do I change that? I'm a shy person and not outgoing.

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    • How do I get involved with people in my classes more if they already have their group of friends? Like if I talk to them they pretty much just ignore me.

    • You'll be starting college in a few months, right? I think that not all people will have their groups, this is a great chance for you. And you have to try, eventually you'll find someone who will want to talk to you.

  • In my younger days, I remember this happening a lot. Reason being from what I saw was, guys at that age, a lot of times didn't want anything serious. If a girl was very cute, quiet, shy and not out ther as in known to get down guys wouldn't pay her any mind. You seem to be completely stunning and gorgeous. So my take on it is that your not easy, your to much work, and as said as that is your the future wife. A woman that a guy wants but knows he can't have type. Guys usually like to go for the easier woman with less work and maximum payoff. Then when it's time to settle down and start a family they want a girl like you.. Just some things I told a few of my gorgeous sweet lady friends back in the day who had low confidence because of the things you mentioned. It never changes and they are happy with a guy who knows how to treat them now. Lol just be patient

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    • I don't want a guy that thinks I'm second choice and has had lots of sexual partners because they wanted to have fun. And only want me when they want to settle down. Lol no thanks.

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    • Guys talk a lot.. More then most will openly admit and they brag a lot. I preferred and have always like the shy quiet girl. But from my experience the ones who were, I shouldn't of said whores, but easier than others were the ones to get more attention. As you get older and your social settings change you will get more attention. High school is nothing but a small glimpse of life. Don't let it affect you.

    • I was more of the friend for a lot of shy girls because I was shy myself. Still am in person for the most part lol. But these pretty girls would tell me all ther problems and I couldn't believe it... They thought they weren't good enough just bc they weren't getting attention. Trust me that's not the attention you want.. Just wait until a more mature crowd comes around and the right guy will pick up on you

  • I think you're pretty. Maybe guys interpret your shyness not being interested so they don't even bother approaching you

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    • Maybe. But what about the outgoing guys?

    • I'm not sure. You could always join clubs that interest you so you meet people with similar interests

  • basically u look better when u r naturall... particularly in yer 2nd pic 8)

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    • Ok but this doesn't answer my question.

  • To be honest, you are rather beautiful, so it is not your looks from my perspective and I am sure many others would agree.

    Without really knowing you as a person it could be anything but that being said, as well as looks the way you present yourself and speak to people and such may be influencing it, there is also the possibility you are looking at the wrong type of guys, lastly, its also possible that guys who are interested are intimidated or introverted like yourself.

    As you stated above several of your friends have boyfriends and such, it may be worth asking both the girls and boys in those couples what you can do to seem more socially accessible and approachable to guys, you could also just talk to the boyfriends, just have normal conversations so you feel more confident when someone does approach you to talk and from there build some friendships and possibly a relationship or two.

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  • You're not ugly, you're cute and sweet looking. You just need to put yourself out there more.
    Start doing things where you have to talk to guys

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    • Yeah I realize I need to get out more haha. What activities should I do where I have to talk to guys because right now I don't really need to unless I need them to get something down for me but then that's it. We don't talk much afterwards you know?

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    • What is that exactly?

    • Its like making things out of metal and doing all the things involved in it, like marking out, drilling holes, cutting metal, welding. Stuff like that

  • What? Are they blind or something? You're beautiful... You're probably giving them an off vibe of some sort.

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    • Well I am very quiet and don't talk to boys.

  • I think you are lovely looking

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  • You're really pretty. I think you're lying about not getting asked out.

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    • I wish I was lying but if you don't believe me then I'll stop talking to you.

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    • Wow I didn't realize guys felt this way. I'm surprised because a lot of guys have girlfriends at my school.

    • You're likely too focused on them and not the quiet guys sitting in the corner by their lonesome. ;)

    • Yeah i think everyone is. Just like you're focused on the outgoing girls in class? But I like your piece.

  • R u joking? u r really so beautiful. ... ;)
    Maybe u ought to smile more... . Try making friends with a gud guy and ask him to help u make more guy friends... :)

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    • Lol I'm so awkward around boys. How do I make friends with a boy if I can't even talk to him?

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    • I don't have Facebook I only have Instagram.

    • It doesn't matter. What site u use and how long does it take to make one account. Plus u can also text some guy saying u need his notes or whatever... :) ... Hey if u need any help or advice.. please let me know... Im always happy to help... Just a little lazy maybe :) ... And also i work at panda speed :D ;)

  • Your Beautiful

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    • Hard to believe that when no boys have ever liked you b

    • Why would I lie , your the most Beautiful girl I've ever seen

    • Oh please.

  • You're pretty. My type for sure. The reason you're single is most likely due to the fact that you're introverted.

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  • hmm you look fine to me man. must be your personality or something

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    • I'm nice and sweet I've been told and I think I am nice to everyone.

  • Dont seek for boys ,, they will come at ur feet ,, just be a little snooty ,, be proud of whom u r ,,

    nice eyes by the way :)

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  • Arrrrr baby I like you I think ur pritty xxx I'm really 17 going 18 soon I like like you as a girlfriend boyfriend way

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  • Well All I can say is..
    Can we be friends? 😄😄😁😁😊😊
    I mean lets begin it with friendship, what say?

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  • gurl u look goood

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  • Well, it ain't your looks

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  • You look pretty in my opinion but you may just be overshadowed by other girls. I'm overshadowed by other guys so it's normal. The hair in your third pic looks good but not in your first and second pic, too frayed in my opinion...
    Yeah I don't know you look pretty good. Maybe you're also just a little skinny looking try working out shoulders maybe...

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    • Too frayed? And what do you mean by out shadowed?

    • I just like the hair in your third picture best I don't know. Outshadowed meaning an extra hot girl just gets more of the attention even though you are already very hot.

    • Oh wow I'm so stupid. And I thought you meant to say fried lol.

  • would pound u for days

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What Girls Said 7

  • Because you're quiet, guys may see you as unapproachable. In fact, I guarantee that's what the problem is. Don't think for a minute that no guy who has ever seen you hasn't ever wanted to ask you out or thought, "she is so pretty. She's just my type"

    You just need to work on coming off as more approachable. Be more talkative and outgoing. I know it's hard. Trust me, I've been there. If you need help, talk to a counselor. If you're going to university, this counseling service is free. If you have anxiety about being outgoing, there are ways to work through it.
    Good luck

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    • Lol yes it is hard I don't think outgoing people realize how hard it is to act outgoing when you're not. I just come off as even more awkward.

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    • At first

    • Yes I wouldn't worry about it at all. I think most guys would find that cute

  • That's weird because you are very pretty!

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    • Oh damn is it really weird?

  • You need a chill pill and go start talking to people. I don't know how else to help socially paralyzed people.

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    • Well that was rude. I think you're the socially paralyzed one here.

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    • Another one triggered. You are not here to get help. at all. Thanks for the insult.

    • Remember your question? --> What is wrong with me? I answered it.

  • wow you are so damn cute! I can't believe guys are not asking you out 24/ 7! I know I would!

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  • You know what you are beautiful, I wouldn't worry about silly foolish high school boys, they probably feel that you are too much for them, meaning they aren't up to pat with someone as stunning as you. I was never asked to prom, and I'm quite an attractive looking woman myself, however my demeanor was sort of that of a mature and assertive woman, and I guess they're intimidated by that. But as for you, you have nothing to worry. You are great.

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    • Well honestly I am a bit worried because I want to have a boyfriend soon and married one day lol

    • Don't rush it though. Just go with the flow. Don't be so quick to get a boyfriend. Taking your time is best.

    • I don't think you understand me at all. I have been taking my time and waiting patiently. Nothing has ever come out of it?

  • I think you're very pretty. Especially in the last picture. I used to be super shy and then I took a drama class and it made me more out going. Maybe try doing something like that that forces you to be out going.

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    • Thanks. Did it help you find a boyfriend?

    • It gave me the confidence to talk to strangers which did lead to me finding a boyfriend

  • You're really pretty! What I'm guessing is that the guys are nervous around you or scared to ask you out because you're pretty and they're scared of getting rejected. Or shy basically.

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    • Thanks I don't know though because there are outgoing guys too. They aren't all shy.

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    • That's funny they told you after high school. So what happened? did you become friends with them?

    • Yeah it was weird. A couple messaged me on Facebook asking me to hang out and another one ended up being friends with one of my friends and we hung out. I didn't date any of them though because I had a crush on someone else and ended up dating him. I did become friends with 2 of them but I moved away and we just stopped talking.

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